Being A Comforter

One time my friend, Ken, wrote a note here in FB about the 3 words that people usually forgot to say.

Those three words were : sorry, thank you and help (or please).

To get to know his insight on this matter, please read his note for I'm gonna talk about something else.

Among those 3 words, what is the most difficult word for you to say?

I'm having no problem at all in saying "thank you", sometime it's like an automatic response anywayy, huahahaha.. though in some other times, I say it because I do feel grateful :p

As for "thank you" itself, I think it's no problem whether you mean it or just lip-service for I think whoever receive it will be glad to hear it.

Now the second word is "sorry", that I have a little problem with, huehehehe..

Cause sometimes by saying "sorry" that means I admit that I was WRONG!

Ahahahaha.. see, this ego part in me sometimes always think that I'm right, all the time, if something goes wrong, well.. it's not my fault, hihihi..

*tipe yang ngga nyadar diri :p*

And at times what caused me having difficulty in saying "sorry" is because.. well.. I don't feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I don't mind saying "sorry" if the other person at least wants to listen to what I've got to say.

Let me have my say.

And if what I say somewhat hurt you, then I'm sorry for hurting you, I do.

But I'm not sorry for what I say for I mean it and I have the rights to feel the way I feel, right?

*even though how I feel might be against how you want me to feel*

I'm sorry if I can't be like what you want me to be.

I'm not a robot, I have a mind of my own and I have my own thoughts.

(Ouuchh.. jadi curhat :p)

And the last word, "help", now that's the word I'm having much troubles to sayy, huhuhuu..

HELPP!! HEEEELLPP!!

Oh, waitt.. I don't have any troubles at all saying it.. by writings, ahahaha :p

But to actually say that word from my mouth, ouucchh..

I'm soo having problems with that.

I'm gonna be inconsistent here for a while, hihihi..

In my other writings, I said that I wasn't a comforter, right? :D

Well..

I guess.. in a way maybe I'm a comforter.. but not the usual comforter anywayy, ahahaha :p

I mean.. I can't comfort people by giving them soothing words they might want to hear.

The easiest way to be a comforter is this..

*take a note, will ya? :p*

Just sit next to that person and listen (and agree) to whatever things that person wants to say.

Give your noddings once in a while and just repeat their stories whenever that person asks your opinions.

If you can do all the above things.. congratulations!! You're now a common comforter!!

*throwing confetti mode is on :p*

But I can't do it that wayy..

I can't curse someone with them just because that someone has hurted them so badly for I do think we all have our own shares in each problems that we have so it just doesn't feel right to put all the blame in one person only :p

But of course I can't say that to them, right? Ahahahaa.. otherwise I might have things being thrown at me :p

Even if the other person was a real jerk, we did have our "mistakes", too, which was.. letting ourselves to be so drown in our emotions whileas we can do the other way, ahahaha :p

But I do "comfort" them in a wayy.. in making them see (although I must sayy not always succeeded for my friend once said that sometimes we just wanted to be listened and we didn't need any advices, huahahaha ;p) that in time things will be better.

Let it rain now but make sure you do know that sunshine will always follow the rain, huahahahaha :D

But at times I can be a partly comforter, too.

I can do the sit and listen part though I skip the nodding and answering part, wakakakakak..

Heyy.. I can compromise my own "principles" sometimes but no need to give up all, right? :p

So many times I wanted to just screaamm, "Heeyyy.. you caused this pain to yourself!! You're too consumed with your negative thoughts. It's your time now to tone them down and replace 'em with positive ones."

But I just can't scream out those words to certain people in my life for I know how much they've been hurted.

I maybe insensitive at times but sometimes I can sense their emotions more than what they show by words.

It's somehow in their tones or their gestures, etc.. and somewhat I can just feel it.

And sometimes sometimes my filter just doesn't work, I consumed all their negativities up to the point where my heart wanted to shout, "Pleaseee.. stop it! You're hurting me! I can't take these negative emotions anymore. I'm so drown by your negativities."

But well.. my mouth just couldn't pass on the message of my heart.

Somewhat I guess because I feel it's unfair for them if I wanted them to stop for I'm the only one they can talk their hearts out.

But trulyy.. it's sinking me down, aarrrgghhh..

The problem of being a comforter is..

Many people whom you used to comfort to tend to forget that you're a human, too.

That at times you might have problems of your own.

That at times.. you're the one who need to be comforted by them!

Another problem is..

You might have difficulty in saying that word, "Help me! I need some comforts!"

Partly maybe because you're afraid of being rejected.

You know.. people might not get used to the idea of switching roles.

Heyy.. you've been my comforter all these timess.. I don't want you to stop now!

Oohh, pleaseee!! Get a life!! *toeng*

Haven't you ever heard about take and give?!

Or some people might use the term of "give and receive".

Whatever it is..

Heyy.. it's time to give back what you've been received all these times!

Be a little more sensitive to the one who usually be your so-called comforter!!

Pay a little bit more attention and you might sense something's not right.

That your "comforter" might be the one who needs comfort now!

What better way to pay back all the comforts they have given us than to be the one who comfort them in their time of need!!

Go on.. have a heart and do the right thing!

Some people might have a hard time in saying "help" anywayy..

We all need someone to be our shoulder to cry on once in a while.

We all need someone we can turn to when the going gets tough.

And we all need someone whom we can share our troubles with, not necessarily to find any solutions.. but just by being with that person.. you know that someone actually cares for you.

And that feeling, my friend, is priceless!

So be the one who can give others that feeling for I believe what you give will always find a way to come back to you again one day ;)

This one goes out to all of you out there, the troubled souls..

May you always have someone in your life that makes you feel that living is wayy much better than dying!

If you haven't found that someone yet..

Maybe it's time to help ourselves and be the comfort for ourselves like we always give someone else.

Just remember.. life's too beautiful to be missed out, right? :D

Aaahh aahh.. this is also a self-reminder for me, wakakakakak :p

Well.. happy weekend ^o^

Take care, wherever you are and whatever you doo!

And what is the message of the dayy?

Rightt..

There's always sunshine (and rainbow) after the rain!

Oohh oohh.. I do believe that, ahahaha..

And I also believe that oftentimes we look at the wrong directions so that we missed seeing the sunshine and the rainbows, hihihi :p

Soo maybee..

It's time to turn our head around a bit and search the sky.. you might find a glimpse of sunlight even in a darkest skyy ;)

Okee dokee.. I see you when I see youu :D

Daaahh..

-Indah-
the soul traveller