"Shana, I want you to be honest once again. I want you to confess the evil deeds you have done. If you don't, I won't consider you as my daughter anymore."
The anger that I've been harboring is about to explode today.
"Why would I admit to a mistake I never made? Why would I ruin someone else's life when mine is already ruined? And the one who ruined it is the one who's accusing me now. Don't you think about how Shana will feel when she hears all your accusations? You don't think that everything you said broke my heart. And why would I be afraid of losing someone like you? A person who never gives responsibility to his children and has the heart to destroy his children's feelings with vague accusations. Do you think I'm scared? No, Dad! I've been living well with Mom and Brother Aaron, we've been fine. Even though the captain of our ship betrayed us, we tried and stayed strong to run the ship even though the waves were very big. And of course we managed to sail the terrible sea."
"Remember, you'll never find answers in me because I won't admit to mistakes I never made. So please, don't contact me after this. Even if you try to contact me, you won't be able to because I will close all access for you to come in and ruin my life and my family. Before you apologize, I've already forgiven you and I hope we can live in peace with our respective choices as strangers." After saying that, I hung up the phone quickly.
I didn't cry, but rather I felt satisfied with what I said. It may sound selfish, but it's really one of the ways to make our lives calm by avoiding people who have a negative impact on the flow of our lives even if they are the closest people to us.
Ataya grabbed my shoulders and turned my body toward her. "Shan, I don't know what you're feeling right now. But I hope you can be sincere and accept all the problems that happen to you. In this life we will be required to continue to learn.
Including learning to sincerely accept reality even though it is not in line with expectations. I'll help you get through this, okay?"
"You might ask why I'm not sad at all even though this is a painful thing for me. But if you say sad, yes there must be sadness, you say pain, yes it really hurts. But back again like you said, we have to learn to accept everything sincerely, right? Even though it's hard, we can't get lost in that sadness. I don't want to let people hurt me and ruin my life even though it's the people closest to me."
After finishing the last sentence I said, the man in front of me pulled my body into his embrace. My heart felt like it was running a race. Maybe Ataya had heard my rapid heartbeat. But I felt the warmth of a hug that I had never found anywhere else. Besides the calming words, Ataya's embrace also made me feel like I was living a life that would always be peaceful. How could I not fall in love with this man, when his embrace alone could calm me down? Ataya I hope, this embrace will continue to be mine.
Ataya said a sentence in her arms that made my heart harrow. "Shan, I've never seen a woman as strong and strong as you. At first I thought, you were a spoiled child, whose happiness and justice always came to your life. But my perspective was wrong. It turns out that there have been many waves that have crashed your life. And your blood has flowed everywhere but you are trying to clean it all so that others don't see it. You tried to heal the wounds without anyone's help. Shan, be mine please? Let me help you heal your unhealed wounds."
I let go of the hug when I heard Ataya's words. I fell silent and started asking questions in my mind. Why would this man want to ruin his life by getting into the life of a girl whose life was falling apart? Ataya opened up a voice that made me so surprised to hear it, it seemed like she was good at hearing the inner voice too. "I chose to enter your life because there is a different vibe when you are around me. You were the one who moved me back in time after my mom was gone. I feel like I'm seeing the same person but in a different form. When I hug you, it feels like it's my mom I'm hugging. My mom had the exact same background story as you and she found my father who helped to heal the wounds. Papa managed to heal and accompany my mom until she was called by God to come back. And I want to be like dad, helping you to survive this mortal life. I promise! So don't think weird and please let me take care of you, okay? I will always love you like I love my mom."
