There are a lot of Stereotypes of women and men which have developed since then until now. They are :
A. Women should get married before 24.
In a big moment, like Eid-Al Fitr, usually Indonesian people hold family gatherings. Big families members, who are not able to gather on usual days, are usually together on that day. On that day, the common thing to say is “When will you get married? What are you waiting for? You have already had everything.” It is not only asked to women, but also men.
However, it’s more burdening for women, as usually they have a burden to bear kids, which will be having higher risk with age. That is true that at the age of 35 or more, women are having higher risk for being pregnant. Nonetheless, we live in the era of technology. There are a lot of women who bear their kids at the age of 35 more. They are Nicole Kidman, who was bearing her first kid with Keith Urban at 41. Next is Mariah Carey. She was bearing twins at the age of 42. Then there is Janet Jackson, the younger sister of Michael Jackson, was bearing their kids at the age of 50.
Well, back to the topic, actually women are able to get married at the age of 24 more. Even they have a choice for not getting married. It is not a thing which can be debated as it is merely about someone’s choice.
B. Woman who is not able to have kids is not a real woman.
They say that the nature of women are getting married, bearing kids, then taking care of them. Women who have not born kids, either by choice or not, are always marked as women who reject their nature. Well, maybe they have not known about child-free marriage. Couples can choose not to have kids in a marriage. Some of them choose to adopt, some of them choose to not have kids at all. In western culture it is normal, but when it comes to our culture, it is considered as abnormal.
Some months ago, Gita Savitri, a youtuber who lives in Germany declared her choice to undergo child-free marriage. I saw the comment section, most people bring religious verses to judge her. To be honest, I was shocked by her bold decision. It is very brave to talk about the idea here. However, it is actually her life. People can choose whatever they want for their life, including having kids or not. Furthermore, in certain conditions, there are some women who are not able to have a kid because of medical conditions.
C. Women who have “lost” their virginity are not worthy.
Last year, I remember that one of Dangdut singer in Indonesia said that nowadays women cannot protect themselves as a lot of them choose to have sex before marriage. Then she added that it is because of the development of technology, since they can ‘reshape’ their hymen if they have lost it before marriage. Well, actually, quoted from http://everydayfemisism.com, virginity is a social construction which comes about because of the commodity for women.
Usually men are appreciated because of sex, but not with women. Losing the virginity before marriage will make them like a slut. In Patriarchal Culture, we are taught that virginity is like a commodity. Worse, some of them still have misconceptions about the concept of virgin and hymen. People still considered that hymen is everything. In addition, women should be bleeding on her first night, or while they have sex with her husband for the first time. Bleeding showed that they are still virgin, and it happens when their hymen are ripped.
