Toxic Relationship: Acknowledging Red Flag Behaviors

Authors: Haura Nuraziza 1, Syakira Zahra Dasylva2, Tatu Zakiyatun Nufus3

Psychology faculty of UIN Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta, Indonesia

Abstract

Human beings are innately social creatures, relying on social interaction and connection with other to form relationships, communities, and societies. These relationships are expected to bring happiness and fulfill their need for affection, especially from people they consider special. However, not all relationships are necessarily positive or beneficial, as the very social nature thet allows humans to come together can also lead to conflicts, prejudices, and divisions. This such relationships are classified as "toxic relationships". Toxic relationships are defined by one partner exerting excessive control over thei significant other's life, even when it conflicts with their own desires. In such cases, the partner who displays toxic behaviours can be regraded as a red flag. This research method uses a qualitative method with a description analysis approach to describe in relations between red flag and toxic relationship. This approach focuses on collecting information by stufying scientific related to the title being researched. Red flags in toxic relationships can significantly harm a partner's well-being and mental health. Such relationships often feature emotional, verbal, or physical abuse patterns that may give rise to fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Breaking free from a toxic relationships is also an act of self-care aimed at fullfilling one's right to happiness. Such as recognized early signs of toxic relationship and acknowledge its unhealty nature.

Key words: Toxic relationship, Red flag

Introduction

            As the renowned Greek Philosopher Aristotle once declared, "Even a God finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time." This statement certainly rings true. Though we may believe ourselves to be too intelligent to let our emotions govern our thoughts, many of us allow our feelings to override our rational judgment, particularly in matters pertaining to our romantic relationships. Human beings are innately social creatures, relying on social interaction and connection with others to form relationships, communities, and societies. These relationships are expected to bring happiness and fulfill their need for affection, especially from people they consider special. Also to help shape our identities and contribute to the advancement of our species.

However, not all relationships are necessarily positive or beneficial, as the very social nature that allows humans to come together can also lead to conflicts, prejudices and divisions. This such relationships are classified as "toxic relationships". Toxic relationships are defined by one partner exerting excessive control over their significant other's life, even when it conflicts with their own desires. In such cases, the partner who displays toxic behavior can be regarded as a red flag.

Red flags are indicators of potential problems or characteristics that could impede a relationship. These can range from major dealbreakers to subtler signals that something may be awry. Their purpose is to caution individuals that the person they are with may not be a suitable match. Signs of red flag behavior should not be ignored or trivialized. Recognizing warning signs is crucial for taking proactive measures to safeguard oneself and others. It is vital to establish and enforce clear boundaries if someone exhibits such behaviors. This article will examine frequent red flag behaviors that play a role in creating toxic relationships and increase readers awareness of toxic relationships, their warning signs, and offer strategies for exiting these kind of relationships.

Literature Review 

• Toxic Relationship
• Definition
• Toxic refers to something that is poisonous or harmful. According to Dan Brennan, MD, toxic is negative behaviour that disappointing. When referring to relationships, a toxic relationships is one that is detrimental and damaging to one or both parties involved.
• 
  
• Based on Oxford Dictionary, interpersonal relationships refer to the manner in which two individuals, groups, or nations interact or transact with each other.
• 
  
• With both of these definitions, a toxic relationship is one that seeks to mentally degrade the opponent through various forms of attacking, such as lowering their self-esteem and dignity, leadong them to feel that they have been harmed by the other person (Glass, 1995).
• 
  
• Characteristic
• The signs of toxic relationship include anger, frustation, unhappines, and annoyance that are targeted towards the other partner. A bad relationship occurs when one partner continually drains the other mentally, emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually. Additionally, a partner who lacks direction, is lazy, unmotivated, and unproductive can lead to a toxic relationship, while the other partner seemingly strives to push them forward withput a clear vision (Sayed, 2015).
• 
  
• Type

Type of toxic relationships can entail emotional abuse and physical abuse. Emotional abuse involves instance of diatribes, cursing, intimidation, threats, peer pressure, and anger, which can lead to the victim experiencing hurt, depression, anger, and a sense of confinement. The victim may also develop feelings of inferiority if the abuse persists, as noted by Hadi (El-Hakim, 2014). Meanwhile, according to Luhulima (2000), physical abuse is characterized as violence that results in visible scars or marks on the victim's body.

• Factor

Toxic relationship may result from various contributing factors whic if combined, create an unsafe situation for those who are involved. Some of factors causing toxic relationships include;

• A lack of communication
• Which can lead to incomprehension, misunderstanding, and ultimately, unhealthy conflict within the relationship.
• Unequal distribution of power
• Unhealthy relationships frequently entail unequal power dynamics, wherin one individual dominates or controls the other.
• Inability to handle conflict
• An inability to deal with conflictconstructively can be the cause of an accumulation of problems and a sense of dissatifaction
• Emotional instability
• Emotional instabiliy can be persaive in one or both partners and can lead to emotional outburst or harmful behavior
• Overdependence
• Where partners rely excessively on each other without healty boundaries, can cause an imbalance in the relationships
• Red Flag Behaviors
• Definition
• Warning signs, or red flags, indicate potenstial issues in a given context. When it comes to relationships, red flags are behaviors, traits, or characteristics that may indicate  potential issues or incompatibilities with a person. Inviduals ahould exercise caution or reconsider pursuing a relationship with someone who exhibits these traits.
• Factors
• The factors that trigger red flags in individuals can differ significantly based on personal preferences and values. In the context of mate selection and relationship perferences, potential dealbreakers or reasons for concern may include unattractive physical appearance, unhealthy lifestyl choices, undesirable personality traits, conflicting religious beliefs, limited social status, divergent mating strategies, and incompatible relationship goals. These factor can differ from person to person, and what migth be considered a warning sign for one person may not be the same for another.
• Characteristics and example
• Some of the characteristics of someone with red flags include: rudeness, giving the silent treatment, excessive selfishness and possesiveness, dishtrust and jealousy, manipulation, have a history of cheating and breadcrumbing.
• In addition, some examples of redflags while during a date include: consuming too much alcohol, excessiv phone use, disinterest in conversation, and flirting with others. Overdiscussing past relationships, especially in a negative or insecure manner, may indicate potential incompatibility with a romantic partner.

Methodology 

            This research method uses a qualitative method with a description analysis approach to describe the relations between red flag and toxic relationship. This approach focuses on collecting information by studying scientific related to the title being researched. Scientific articles used in the form of published journals as the main source of data collection. The analysis technique of this research is to review literature review, which is to read carefully and thoroughly on reading sources to obtained valid information related to the topic being studied, then data has been obtained is compiled by describing in detail the phenomenon of red flag in toxic relationship.

Result and finding

As is widely recognized, every couple seeks happiness in their relationship. Sukidi (2004) noted that a fulfiling life is a universal aspiration and there are several factors that promote happiness in human life. Despite this, numerous couples are ensnared in toxic relationships, sometimes without realizing it. This toxic relationships certainly hinders humans from fulfilling their happines.

One contributing factor to such toxicity is presence of a redflag partner in the relationship. Displaying indicators of toxic relationships, such as perpetual anger, distress, and frustation, or angaging in behaviours that cause. These behaviours could be emotional, psychological strain, isolation, and public humiliation.

Red flags in toxic relationships can significantly harm a partner's well-being and mental health. Such relationships often feature emotional, verbal, or physical abuse patterns that may give rise to fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Red flag individuals, on the other hand, may see their relationships affected by trust issues, communication

difficulties, and persistent power struggels. Nonetheless, their actions are unjustified due to the toxic nature of their relationship, which can negatively impact multiple aspects of their partner's life, including work performance, social interactions, and overall happiness.

Red flag behaviours in a relationship include manipulative control of the partner's actions or isolation from friends and family, a lack of emphaty or regard for their needs and verbal or physical abuse intended to maintain power. Additional signs include possessiveness, jealoust, insecurity leading to excessive monitoring or suspicion of the partner's activities, and communication issues where criticism or defensiveness are used instead of open and respectful dialogue. Lastly, the individual has a history of being in toxic relationships and displays simirial behavioral patterns from past relationship. It is vital that these red flag are recognized in order to prevent toxic relationships.

The repercussions of being in a toxic relationship can be catastrophic. The emotional effects of incessant negativity, manipulation, and disrespect can result in anxiety, depression, and even self-doubt. People who are in such relationships frequently lose confidence in themselves, their abilities, and their worth. Moreover, the mental and emotional burden can extend to other aspects of life, such as work or friendships, which can have an impact on overall well-being and happiness.

Conclusion

If an individual finds themselves in a toxic relationships, it is crusial for them to end it for the sake of their mental and emotional well-being. Breaking free from a toxic relationship is also an act of self-care aimed at fulfilling one's right to happiness. There are various steps that can be taken to end a toxic relationship, such as;

• Recognized early signs of a toxic relationship and acknowledge its unhealty nature
• Reach out to trustworthy friends, family members, or professionals who can offer guidance and support
• Establish clear boundaries and communicate any needs or concerns to your partnert
• Seeking therapy or counseling may be beneficial to adress emotional trauma resulting from the toxic relationship
• Building a support network and engaging in self-helpp activities can aid in rebuilding self-esteem and regaining independence
• It may also be important to create a safety plan, particularly in cases involving physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, and to consider involving legal authorities if necessary

Leaving a toxic relationship can be difficult, but prioritizing indivisual  well-being is crusial for personal growth and happiness. It is essential to acknowledge the challenges of ending a toxic relationship and to focus on achieving a healthy and fulfilling life.