The blinds and the morning sunlight wake me up when I'm sleeping in a dream, I can already guess who open the curtains of my room.
"Mom 5 more minutes." I'm still in a closed state when talking.
"The 5 minutes you said is the same as 5 hours from now, let's get up quickly!"
Mom pull her hand and repeatedly try to wake me up, it doesn’t make me open my eyes which is still closed. Came reinforcements that truly I could not refuse his orders. The sound was faintly coming from the door of my room.
“Forest.” with a distinctive tone that can make the hair on the neck of anyone who winces hearing it or is it just me who feels that way. I immediately wake up with my eyes still forced to open while walking to the bathroom. Can be hear from inside the bathroom a small chuckle from my mother.
I almost forget to introduce myself, my name is Forestia Ayu Subagja. The people closest to me often call me Forest. However, when I was in junior high school I am no longer wanted to be called Forest and preferred to be called Tia. I started changing my nickname because I thought the name Forest was too hard and weird to hear. Especially for those of us who have studied English since elementary school, which when translated into Indonesian means hutan. Actually I don’t hate the name, in fact the name is unique. My father and my mother work for a tropical rainforest protection agency in Indonesia. This is what underlies why the name Forest can be formed. My father's name is Faris Subagja and my mother's name is Feny Ananda Pratama. The second reason that underlies my name starting with F is because it's true that my parents' names also start with F.
It is certain that the gate to my school is closed because of the traffic jam in the Indonesian capital. Actually it's not entirely the fault of the traffic jam, but it's also my fault that it was difficult to woke up this morning and took so long to take a shower. As a result, this is what I got standing in front of the flagpole with a complete white and gray shirt. Today is Tuesday, of course there is no ceremony, in fact, I held the ceremony myself.
When break time comes, I spend more time in the library, even when I come home from school, I still find time to go to the library. Mom and Dad didn't look for me because they usually come home at 5 pm at least there's still 2 hours I can spend my time coming home at the school library. I spend my days reading books. When I'm in college, I want to major in Indonesian Literature, because I have aspirations to be able to create a work at least once in my life and I also want to own a book publishing company. However, my goal was the beginning of my indecisive thoughts.
I arrived at home. Usually I go home by taking public transportation such as ‘angkot’ because besides being economical it is also able to reduce the use of private vehicles and later reduce the chances of air pollution.
"Assalamualaikum Forest come home." while taking off my shoes.
There was no greeting from inside the house and the door is still close, I can confirm that mother and father have not come home yet. This usually happens, even though it is already 5 pm, usually they are like this because there is a community gathering that my mother and father follow regarding forest conservation in Indonesia. I really understand that my parents really love things related to the forest. However, in fact, their children were often abandoned, even when they were small, I would be entrusted by my grandmother when they were working. Sometimes I really miss time with them, especially since I'm the only child, the house is very quiet when they work, even though on holidays they are always full doing activities with me. It was during these moments that I fell in love with the books I read. It feels like the atmosphere of the house becomes more lively by entering the contents of the book.
Then come the time for college admission selection to begin. I have prepare everything that need, I take it through the SBMPTN route. During registration, I am so confuse about the major I would choose. Because my parents wanted me to major in forestry or nature conservation. However, as I said earlier, I am more interested in literary matters and I also want to major in Indonesian Literature.
"Forest, we do not want you to enter that department." At that time I am very annoy with the statement that Mom and Dad give when we finish eating they said that I should to major in forestry or majors relate to the environment.
"But Forest, if you take that major, it will be easier for you to understand various lessons, because your mother and father can help." Mother said to me.
"Your mother is right. Apart from that, you will also find out various things relate to nature which are very important for us to protect.” Said my father at my dinner table.
"If it's not like this, here I can choose 2 options. The first choice is what I want and the second one is in accordance with what Mom and Dad want."
"Okay, if it's like that, even better."
After taking the college entrance test, I didn't go straight home and decide to play with my friends at one of my friends' houses when it is already 3pm. That's when I told all my complaints about what I am facing.
"Since then every time I meet with my parents the conversation is related to the majors they always discuss." I said while making an annoy look.
Clara, who is my seatmate and my close friend, sit next to me, "Don't worry, your mother and father will definitely understand your choice later, maybe they still need time because what they want isn't what you want."
"That is true." said the owner of the house, Sinta, who is still busy changing television channels.
"It seems that all parents are like that, my mother also forced me to enter the same major as my brother's major, even though I am a woman who is suitable to enter the mechanical engineering department." Rara told the story while folding her hands.
"That's right, they don't think about how their child feels and their child's will first and decide what to-"
The sound of a cellphone ringing tone stop what I am saying, it is true that it is Mother who is calling, because I was still carried away by my annoyance that I forgot to ask permission to go play with my friends. I give signal to my friends like telling people to shut up. My friends also understand the hint.
"Yes ma'am, yes I'll be home soon, all right." I said with a sour face.
I immediately said goodbye to my friends. Under that orange sky, I took an online motorcycle taxi to go home. Even on the street I still feel that feeling of annoyance I really want to scream but I'm too embarrass to do it. I'm afraid people will think I'm crazy, even though I'm actually quite crazy now.
It is time for the announcement of the entrance selection for college, I am so excited to open the results in front of the laptop screen that is lit in the family gathering room. Even though it is just me alone in the room. Again, I am struck by a feeling of loneliness because a very precious moment, my parents not even at home. They must be taking care of the forest where there is no bright spot. When I enter the major that my mother and father suggested, I don't know how I could go about it. I'm too fed up with the word forest. Even hearing the meaning of my name I do not want to accept that fact. I slowly click on the website page that displays. Once open I could not hide my shock face.
“H-HOW COULD? AHHHHH I'M SO HAPPY!"
Can't guess what the result will be. I get into the major I want. At the same time my mother and father also come home, I tell my parents the results with great joy.
"Mother and Father have decided to enter you into a private college with a major in Forestry." My father said with a straight face.
"HAH? You both know the agreement is not like this, I have accepted and took pains to get all of this." I shout with a raise voice and tears that is already falling, now those tears don't know whether they are sad or happy.
"Mother and father understand and really appreciate this, but what you and father decide is the best for Forest." My mother said while trying to stroke my back which was trembling with tears.
"That's for your good not for me." I go straight to my room crying that I can’t hold back anymore. I can't figure out how they can do that. I hate the forest even more. I want definitely go through the lecture half-heartedly at this rate.
Because the next day I do not leave the room. My mother come to my room and said, "Okay, if Forest wants to do what Forest wants, Mother and Father will try to accept it, but for now Forest is going out to eat, how many days has Forest not eaten."
I left the room with a face that was definitely very puffy and messy, to be honest, I feel like I am going to pass out and my stomach is very sore because I hadn't eaten anything for two days. Only drank from a 2L bottle, which at that time was available water.
Finally I am able to enter the major I want and manage to graduate with satisfactory results by graduating cumlaude. The reaction of my parents are usually just say congratulations and not give anything. But I'm trying to be strong with it. I have another argument with my parents because I get a job at a well-known book publisher.
"You know Forest, how many trees in the forest are harmed by cutting down trees to make paper." Mom said while sitting on the bench in the family gathering room.
"Mom, come on, this is a big opportunity for me so that later I can open my own publishing house." I said while sitting beside my mother.
My father, who heard this,is furious to know that child ideals is like that. After all, which parent only knows the ideals of their child now, at the age of 23 years. Why do they get angry like that.
The actions of my parents make all my anger flare up even more, they deliberately put me into a volunteer forest protection job in Kalimantan. Because I don't want any more commotion and I'm actually curious why my parents would do this for the forest. I also want to work there. It turn out that it is very easy to shake all my bad views about the forest, everything seem to disappear with what I see in the field. I am there not only observing the forest but I also see various kinds of animals injure by irresponsible human activities. Volunteers also help by bringing in veterinarians to treat them under government guidance. The longer I work here, the more I understand why my parents love the forest so much. The forest that is own by our country is already very few in number, more and more are being used as residential land. Many lumberjacks for industrial needs including paper. maybe this is what made my parents not really like my dream of wanting to set up a book publishing company. In fact, many people turn a blind eye to it. Me is no exception. Even though it is clear that the place where they lived was a place for trees and forest animals. We sacrifice too much for the nature around us without understanding the future impact that will occur without forests. Moreover, the forest in Indonesia is one of the lungs of the world. There are many great young volunteers here who have open my eyes more about the forest.
It was also there that I meet Rian, one of the people who has been a forest volunteer for a long time. We're pretty close at work. Rian is tall, I even just shoulder to shoulder if we stand next to each other. He helped me a lot. I've been working for months, I can only tell all my complaints about my lectures and dreams.
"You can still Forest to reach your dream." Rian said to me.
"How? Even my mother and father were against it. The last time I talked about my dream, they were furious."
“You can set up a book publishing house with materials from recycled paper, even though the cost is quite expensive. However, you can still preserve the forest and achieve your dreams.” He said with a sweet smile that made me unable to look away from that smile.
It's been a long time since I have feelings for him, maybe why I easily melted because he and everything Rian said were not only true but able to shake all my defenses. However, I also love the forest even more and it doesn't feel like it's been almost a year since I haven't been home. I had visited many forests in Kalimantan with other volunteers. Being part of a forest volunteer is a gift that I will never forget. All my hatred memories of the forest as if only my childhood memories. If only little Forest had known about this sooner. However, without this process maybe I would not have gotten here and maybe if it wasn't for my parents I can’t be able to see the beauty of the forest which is getting rarer and rare to see in
