Until now, Swayu was always overshadowed by yesterday's events. After being married for four months, yesterday was the second time she visited her parents' house. As a child who has lived with her parents for twenty-three years, she missed her parents and missed the days before she got married.
Yesterday, when she visited her parents' house, Swayu felt like she wanted to be a girl again. She thought maybe her uneasy feelings would calm down a bit after seeing her parents. It turned out that Swayu was mistaken. She did not feel any calmer after seeing her parents.
After putting away her carry-on bag which was filled with several snacks for her parents and younger siblings, Swayu helped her mother peel the mangoes in the kitchen. The small kitchen has only dirt floors, not tiles or ceramics, and is surrounded by walls with gray cement without being painted. Swayu remembered very well that her singing salary at that time was immediately spent on repairing the kitchen of their house. Previously, the kitchen was still surrounded by wooden walls instead of cement walls. The wooden walls used to be very brittle and often had holes in the sides so that rats could often enter.
Gendis felt something different from her daughter. Swayu did not look like she used to. Swayu was usually cheerful and she would tell Gendis everything. Gendis took the initiative to speak up first, "How's your husband, Nak? Why don't you come home together, anyway?"
Swayu thought she would not tell her parents about the fight between her and her husband. However, as soon as she heard her mother's gentle voice, Swayu immediately hugged her and her breath was raging from crying. Swayu cannot lie. Then, she told the fight that had occurred between herself and her husband. Swayu actually expects her mother to defend herself.
Swayu remembered and would never forget how she finally became a dangdut singer. At that time, she was eleven years old. She remembered how her parents struggled to pay for her elementary school fees. Because of the economic difficulties that their family was facing, with a heavy heart, Swayu agreed to follow her parents' decision not to continue her school to junior high school.
She will also never forget how her mother comforted her for not being able to continue school. "Swayu, you are beautiful. You are a very beautiful girl. You don't need to go to school, you will be successful and happy". Her father also added, "You just have to be polite and kind, then your mother and I will always be proud of you."
After growing up, she understood that the words of her parents were not a comfort for her, but a sword for her. She was so comfortable with the words of her parents that she did not know the true reality. Swayu thinks her parents will be proud of her after she can help her family's finances.
"Yes, Nak. Leave your job. Follow your husband's words." Swayu's mother responded to Swayu's story in a calm voice.
"I've never once been pleased with your job singing dangdut, Nak. Many people think you are not a good woman. What's more, you never went to school. However, you can be raised because of your husband. Thank God he wants to accept you and accept your job ". Gendis said bluntly.
Swayu's heart sank to hear that. She thought her mother would try to defend her just like what she thought. However, she turned out to be wrong. Swayu asked in her heart "What her mother meant by her husband being able to raise her. How low is she in other eyes?" Her heart could not accept their words.Â
