The moonlight was shy to appear in the boisterous and sparkling atmosphere at that time. The beating and pounding of traditional drums filled the ears of the people who were gathered noisily. It seemed that people of all ages came to attend and showed faces full of enthusiasm. A middle-aged man who looked to be in his eighties sat on a green plastic chair. He was currently sipping his black coffee with his fingers full of jade rings. Even toddlers are reluctant to find their sleep that night. The toddler was still teetering with the tip of his hand held by his mother from behind. The toddler also seemed curious about the crowd, even though he certainly did not understand what was going on.
"Dek Swayu, are you ready yet?" said a middle-aged woman dressed in a traditional Javanese kebaya who approached Swayu.
"Yes, Mbah. I'm ready," Swayu answered with a slightly bowed posture to respect Mbah who asked her. A man sitting in a chair on the small stage played his traditional drum at a slower rhythm indicating that he wanted to stop the music. He then drank the black coffee that had been prepared by Mbah Darmi after stopping his drum playing.
Mbah Darmi came over to the small stage and called out to the men on the stage, "Dek Swayu is ready to sing, she will sing three songs later. Let's prepare the sound system and the mic." The man who had been playing the traditional drum then responded by giving a thumbs up in the air and replied. "Yes Mbah, we're ready."
Swayu will present three songs for the bride and the audience tonight. Mbah Darmi was the one who invited Swayu to sing at the wedding party of her daughter, Ratna.
A little drizzle began to paint the air that night. Swayu seemed a little surprised when it started to drizzle, but she was still able to continue her singing. People seem to have lost their focus hearing Swayu's singing. Several people were seen carrying tables and chairs in areas not covered by tents and bringing them to the area inside the tent.
Swayu just sang three verses in the second song which was titled "Cuma Kamu" from Rhoma Irama and Rita Sugiarto. Swayu seems to be getting more worried about the weather. The light drizzle grew heavier and it was followed by a strong breeze. Mbah Darmi, who had previously ordered Swayu to sing, then called out to her, "Dek Swayu, it's drizzling heavily. The wind is also getting stronger. I'm sorry, it looks like the singing must end," Mbah Darmi said with a worried and panicked face. Swayu responded with a small nod and waved her right hand low to signal the men behind her to stop the music.
Even though she must have ended her singing in a short time, Swayu still had the time to thank the audience and event owners at the end. She also congratulated the bride on their marriage and also wished them happiness. While walking down the stage, Dona, her loyal friend and personal assistant who accompanies her to sing, gave Swayu a thick blue jacket. Swayu immediately accepted it and put it on to cover her upper body, which was wearing a sleeveless dress.
Swayu is now sitting on a bench made of teak wood on the terrace of Mbah Darmi's house. She occasionally drank hot tea served by Mbah Darmi. Swayu watched the rain calmly, even though people started to noisily clear the stage, tables and chairs as a sign that the wedding party was over. Swayu saw that the rain was getting heavier and realized that now the rainy season had brought heavy rain at night.
Swayu was pensive thinking about what had just happened. She had not even finished singing, but the rain forced her to stop. "Even the weather did not allow me to sing." Swayu said in her heart. Since this morning after she woke up, Swayu became more sensitive to everything.
Her eyes were now slightly red. People might think it was because of the eye lens she was wearing or because Swayu was already getting sleepy. To be honest, Swayu noticed that she was beginning to have small tears. If only her tears could flow easily like the rain that is currently falling heavily.
Until now, Swayu was always overshadowed by yesterday's events. After being married for four months, yesterday was the second time she visited her parents' house. As a child who has lived with her parents for twenty-three years, she missed her parents and missed the days before she got married.
Yesterday, when she visited her parents' house, Swayu felt like she wanted to be a girl again. She thought maybe her uneasy feelings would calm down a bit after seeing her parents. It turned out that Swayu was mistaken. She did not feel any calmer after seeing her parents.
After putting away her carry-on bag which was filled with several snacks for her parents and younger siblings, Swayu helped her mother peel the mangoes in the kitchen. The small kitchen has only dirt floors, not tiles or ceramics, and is surrounded by walls with gray cement without being painted. Swayu remembered very well that her singing salary at that time was immediately spent on repairing the kitchen of their house. Previously, the kitchen was still surrounded by wooden walls instead of cement walls. The wooden walls used to be very brittle and often had holes in the sides so that rats could often enter.
Gendis felt something different from her daughter. Swayu did not look like she used to. Swayu was usually cheerful and she would tell Gendis everything. Gendis took the initiative to speak up first, "How's your husband, Nak? Why don't you come home together, anyway?"
Swayu thought she would not tell her parents about the fight between her and her husband. However, as soon as she heard her mother's gentle voice, Swayu immediately hugged her and her breath was raging from crying. Swayu cannot lie. Then, she told the fight that had occurred between herself and her husband. Swayu actually expects her mother to defend herself.
Swayu remembered and would never forget how she finally became a dangdut singer. At that time, she was eleven years old. She remembered how her parents struggled to pay for her elementary school fees. Because of the economic difficulties that their family was facing, with a heavy heart, Swayu agreed to follow her parents' decision not to continue her school to junior high school.
She will also never forget how her mother comforted her for not being able to continue school. "Swayu, you are beautiful. You are a very beautiful girl. You don't need to go to school, you will be successful and happy". Her father also added, "You just have to be polite and kind, then your mother and I will always be proud of you."
After growing up, she understood that the words of her parents were not a comfort for her, but a sword for her. She was so comfortable with the words of her parents that she did not know the true reality. Swayu thinks her parents will be proud of her after she can help her family's finances.
"Yes, Nak. Leave your job. Follow your husband's words." Swayu's mother responded to Swayu's story in a calm voice.
"I've never once been pleased with your job singing dangdut, Nak. Many people think you are not a good woman. What's more, you never went to school. However, you can be raised because of your husband. Thank God he wants to accept you and accept your job ". Gendis said bluntly.
Swayu's heart sank to hear that. She thought her mother would try to defend her just like what she thought. However, she turned out to be wrong. Swayu asked in her heart "What her mother meant by her husband being able to raise her. How low is she in other eyes?" Her heart could not accept their words.Â
It was her father's words that made her heart even shattered. "Nak, leave your job. All your life is now controlled by your husband. After all, you are not appropriate to sing and be watched by men. You look like a teasing woman."
Swayu realized that she often experienced unpleasant incidents. At that time, some old women went to her house to give invitations to recite the Quran in a mosque. At the end of her conversation, one of the old women blurted out, "Later, when it comes to recitation, you don't have to dress up and have a full face of makeup. There are no men to deal with." The old woman ended her words with a little laughter.
Swayu's eyes began to tear remembering the words of her parents yesterday. Swayu did not expect that her own father would agree with the opinions of people out there. Even after twelve years she became a dangdut singer and supported her family's finances from this job, her parents were never proud or happy about her achievements. Even after she was good with everyone, it never made her worthy to be labeled as a good woman.
A man walked closer to the place where Swayu was sitting. He then sat in the empty space next to Swayu. His rough hands tried to touch his head to fix his prayer cap. "Oh, it turns out I was sitting next to a beautiful woman. Such luck for me." The man tries to start a conversation with Swayu.
Swayu's forefinger hastily wiped away the tears that were under her eyes. Swayu turned and nodded at the man who had spoken earlier. The man caught Swayu's eyes which were red and slightly tearing. "Woah, you are crying after singing? What happened? Hey, just looked at me. I even never cried after divorce. But you are so weird, you cried after singing?"
Swayu was a little surprised to hear the response from the man sitting next to her. Whether the man looked joking or serious, Swayu was interested in his story about his divorce. She replied to the man by asking questions about his divorce.
The raindrops were still battling one another. The blue tent in front of Mbah Darmi's terrace turned into a mess. Mbah Darmi still talked with the women who cook catering for the wedding party. They occasionally stared angrily at Swayu who was talking to that man.
