My Saviour

As always, she is on her bed, under layers of comforter, with her laptop on her laps. Her finger dance swiftly around the keyboards, trying to organize the words from her head to become sentences that can depicts her life.

Sentences that can depicts her life....

Maybe it was 'uncertainty', or 'discontentment', the most suitable probably 'limitation and greediness'. Because she is actually lives in easy street, with loving and capable parents. Even so, she still has a lots of concerns inside her head. Concerns about how her life is boring, about how she longs for something else ---for someone else's happiness. How people always assume her life as nothing less than perfection, and she can't even deny that. But she didn't deem it that way.

These assumptions and expectations toward her made her unsure of herself, how she must behave and what should she chase. When she was a full-fledged teenager, this become a crucial issues for her. She doubted herself to the point where she felt like demented person. Time passes and her condition getting worse, her attempt to conceal her flaws is backfired and making her has no one to turns to. Even if she has no one to turns to, but she has something to vent her stress --- something to keep her sanity. That something is literature world, she loves to write and read.

She is thankful for countless of books and her beloved laptops that always companying her getting through her life up till now. More over after she take the liberty to finally post her works online, she got an unexpectedly great reactions. These become a turning point, a culmination on her life as an author.

But actually there is another contributing factor beside her newfound hobbies...

That was him.

It was at the beginning of new term at high school, she is walking to her school as always. Then she saw the ruckus in front of her school's gate, she increase her pace to see it. After reaching the gate she dumbfounded to see the source of the ruckus is a boy. He might be a transfer student, which is quite an usual things, he looks like a foreigner perhaps that what caused the ruckus. Seeing a foreigner in front of your school is not an everday occurrence.

After knowing he is the source, I continue my steps to school. I don't have any time to be concern about some random guy being transferred to our school. This is an important times for me, this is when I will be pushed to my limits, to meet my parents expectation. This is the beginning of third year in senior high school, so it is very important. The ambience of having a new student is clear to be felt at my class, I can guess the famous transfer student must be enrolled at our class. 

As I expected, when our homeroom teacher walks in the room, that gy is following her. After a brief introduction our teacher allows him to take a seat. Just my luck, the sit beside me is empty so automatically he sat beside me. He has this sparkling aura and I felt so bothered by it. This guy is annoying me, how can he looked so happy and easy-going? Doesn't he has some problem??

'You are Kira right?' he ask me out of the blue one day, I must say I'm surprised, because I haven't initiate a conversation with him, let alone introduce myself. So I just nodded.

'Woah, you really are thrifty with your words' he commented bluntly. I am offended of course, what does he know?? So I ignore him and focus on my assignment. After that he walks away, not that I minded. From the start I don't have any intentions to get close with him.

After that our relationship is not getting better, we just ignoring each other. We just inducing ourselves in each world and it last until the end of semester, right before our final exam.

That was the hardest time of my life, I kept studying but I'm not showing any improvement. So my parents, as always, keeps pushing me and my condition was really worse. I just want to let go, to have fun and to release myself from my parents.

I was so depressed to the points that I want to take my own life. Actually I've considers that a lot, and maybe this is the perfect time to do that. maybe after all my dedication in living my life god will show his mercy and forgive for taking my own life.

So here I am, at the rooftop of my school, actually I've been here a lot and it was not strange to find me here, cause I like spends my time in here. The weather is cloudy, I snort think about how perfect this weather for me to jump. I scan the view from here, all the buildings, people on the street, and all the sports club that doing their exercise. Then I think about how this will be the last view before I finally let go of my life. Think about how this will be my last memories before facing my own death. I inhale deeply and then exhale loudly, hoping it will remain as a track of my pathetic self. I stepped at the boundaries, and looked down, I don't feel scared. In contrary I smiled, because this will release me from my suffering in this world.

5

4

3

2

1.... I started inclining myself to the air in front of me, smiling and closed my eyes. 

Good bye... 

But a pair of hands grabbed my waist, thus halting my movement. I opened my eyes and turn, shocked to see him. The guy that I obviously ignored before, captured me before I can jump.

He didn't say anything, he just pulls me to his arms, and pats my head. He doesn't even ask me why I intend to jump. He just let me sit beside him for couple of minutes. 

I felt amazingly relieved that he stopped me, I even felt happy that there is actually someone who cares about me. After that, he takes me to my house.

'just shares them with me' that was his words, and that mere words can save me.