Secure Love in an Insecure World, Guide to Healthy Attachment Style

How to build a secure attachment: 

• Educate Yourself with proximity-seeking 

Starting with physical and emotional contact with the people closest to you. Slowly one will find a sense of security and emotional support that was previously unavailable/lacking 

• Healing an Anxious Attachment Style 

If you have an anxious attachment style, you probably spend much of your time ruminating about other people, especially your romantic partners and close friends. Thus, healing an anxious attachment style requires you to work on the relationship that you have with yourself. Your sense of self-worth should be independent of other people and how they feel or behave towards you. (Anna Drescher, 2024) 

• Having stable self-esteem 

When you have self-esteem. Then the potential for self-blame will be blocked, so avoidant and anxious characters will not come. 

• Identify and express your emotions 

Healing is not merely about changing behavior, as this often triggers compensatory behavior. Rather, healing lies in transforming your unconscious beliefs and assumptions underpinning your avoidant attachment behavior. Examine and challenge any negative beliefs or expectations you hold about relationships, intimacy, and vulnerability and replace them with more realistic and positive beliefs that promote healthy connections. (Anna Drescher, 2024) 

• Believe and open-up to others. 

becoming more open and vulnerable with others then people will slowly do the same and show us a positive response which will reduce the insecure feeling.