Do Long-Distance Relationshhips Really Work?

People say long-distance means so little when someone means so much. You have to go wholeheartedly into anything in order to achieve anything worth having. 

Long-distance relationships or LDR are defined as any couple that is not located in the same geographic region and are physically unable to visit one another without great travel expenses, planning, or inconvenience to one's set schedule (Kelsey K. Peterson, 2014). In this era we find many couples who have long-distance relationships, there are 14 million couples who claim they're in a long distance relationship. 

And a recent study published in the Journal of Communication found that people in long-distance relationships have stronger bonds than those who have more consistent face-to-face connections with their significant others. Researchers suspect that's because individuals in LDR's have to try harder to communicate, and are in turn rewarded with a closer bond to their significant other. Doing a long-distance relationship is indeed very difficult unlike a normal relationship.

Moreover, long-distance relationships can be as satisfying as normal relationships. So, I will discuss the beneficial and negative aspects of having a long-distance relationship, and how to make long-distance relationships work.

First is the negative aspects of having a long-distance relationship. Many people say that long distance relationships don't work, and are simply a waste of time, subconsciously pulling them away from it. And usually, long-distance relationships fail slowly over time. You share intimate things with someone who is part of your life even if they are not physically present all the time. 

Not only that, people in long-distance relationships often feel lonely and depressed when they are away from their significant other. In fact, research shows that when we are separated from someone we love, anger, guilt, depression and anxiety are normal emotions. People in long-distance relationships report more symptoms of mild depression, such as feeling blue, difficulty sleeping, feeling uninterested in things, and difficulty concentrating (Kristine Pineda, 2021). 

And if we are far apart, there are times when we have trust issues with our partner. Trust issues become a problem when either you or your long-distance partner don't feel like you are free to express yourself to each other openly. 

This distrust can breed other negative emotions like anger and frustration and sadness, and they will slowly destroy your long-distance relationship (Kristine Pineda, 2021). Those are some simple examples that we can experience if we are in a long distance relationship.

Although being separated from your partner can place a physical and emotional limitation on your day-to-day life, there are actually many benefits of having a long-distance relationship. For example, Intimate conversations become frequent. When you live away from your partner, you spend a lot of your time with each other on phone calls or video chats, maybe even more than in most other relationships.

 In a study of 1,000 Americans who were or had been in a long-term relationship, 69% said they talked to their partner more during their time apart. Not only that, there is also emotional intimacy at its prime in a long-distance relationship. 

Free-flowing communication and greater commitment ensure emotional intimacy exists. This makes the couple feel closer emotionally. Partners subconsciously tend to compensate for the lack of physical intimacy by allowing other forms of intimacy to grow between them. 

They try to share their experiences, even from a distance. Partners can try to connect intellectually by reading the same book, for example (Aditi Mehrotra, 2022). Also, one of the benefits of LDR that makes your time valuable is how much the partner becomes closer in trying to make up for the loss that physical distance may cause. And there are many more benefits that you can get from having a long-distance relationship.

Moreover, if you want your long-distance relationship to work, the most important thing you have to do is communication. Communication is a way to share and change information between two people or more. Most long distance relationships fail because people don't make efforts, they don't engage their potential partners in their conversation. 

This is one of the common reasons why most long distance relationships fail. Without effective communication, you will not be able to express yourself clearly, which will lead to confusion and misunderstanding. Constant misunderstandings will lead to fights, which will damage your relationship or at least make it very unpleasant. We can use technology to communicate with each other, technology and relationships are closely linked in today's times. 

Pew Research reported, "24% of internet users with recent dating experience have used the internet or email to maintain a long-distance romantic relationship". For the couples in the long-distance relationship that can not always meet each other face to face, the communication process appears to be an important thing that helps the couples to stay feeling close to each other. 

There is one more thing that makes such a relationship work -- share the relationship's goal or an end in sight. Psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), who specializes in relationship counseling and Rational Emotional Behavior Therapy says, "Usually many LDRs suffer when they have no end in sight. 

When there is no deadline tied to the distance. A relationship has to be indexed in a certain practicality, being under the same roof in the end". And the last is support from people around, especially family. It makes them believe that this relationship would be no matter even in a long-distance relationship. Those are some ways how to make your long distance relationship work.

Anyway there's uncertainty in every relationship, be it long distance, or a normal one. Therefore, one can't say that long distance relationships don't always work. Admittedly, the distance has both beneficial and negative aspects, but how the couples handle it through communication, always trust each other and share the relationship's goal, determine the maintenance and help to feel close in the long-distance relationship. So, each partner's efforts are a big part of a relationship working.