Greenlight

The sound of rushing sky water falling relieved her 'peace and quiet' as she read a novel in her hand accompanied by a cup of Americano coffee that she ordered without sugar. The day was about to end, but there was no signal that the girl with the shoulder-length curly hair would walk home. She looks comfortable with her solitude, occasionally inhaling the aroma of coffee before drinking it. The smell of coffee and the smell of rain, which has always been her favorite, never fails to make her feel comfortable. One hour, two hours, three hours, the sky was dark, the rain had stopped, and the coffee was gone. The girl got up and began to tidy up her things on the wooden square table. After making sure she packed all his stuff, she plugged her headphones in, put some music on her cell phone, and headed off for the thirty-minute walk to her house.

"You know what time it is?" Nice welcome, she thought. The girl took off her coat and shoes, and looked at the "immediate interviewer" with her poker-faced look, "Oh I thought you're not home yet"

"I bought you food, eat quickly and then enter your room" instructed the man in front of him before leaving him at the door. The girl sighed, then got up to get her food, carrying it to her room. "Thank you, Baba," she said as she passed the man who was watching television with his little version. For the past three months, the house where a girl named Ayla lived has felt empty. Mama's death made the house that was once warm like the morning sun to be as cold as a night with a blizzard. There was no more meaningful conversation, everyone who lived in it was like strangers living under the same roof, busy with their own business, undisturbed by the presence of the other.

This morning, as usual, Ayla would leave the house with her dark blue backpack and school uniform---as if she wanted to go to school like other students--- though school was not her destination, she was going to see her mom. This is not the first time Ayla has skipped classes. In the last three months, she has skipped classes more than ten times. Nobody cares, he thought. The black shoes with access to white stripes stepped onto a green yard that took the owner of the shoes to a place that for the past three months had become his "escape" from the hustle and bustle of the world. The girl sat down beside a mound of grass overgrown with lilies on it, written on the black tombstone was the name of the woman who had been the cause of all her sorrow for the past three months. "Hi Mama, how was your sleep?" After that there was only silence, the girl just stared at the name on the grave without expression, without emotion. Her eyes were blank, but not with her heart and mind floating on the incident three months ago when her mother was declared gone forever. Even after three months had passed, the pain that Ayla felt had not recovered, it had only gotten worse. After two hours of just sitting and staring at the mound of earth that buried her mother's body, Ayla got up from her place, said goodbye to her mother's grave, and then took her feet away from the cemetery.

"Okay, run away or not go to school at all?" said a girl with a black headscarf while putting a cup of Americano coffee in front of Ayla. "Thanks," replied Ayla. "You gonna be like this forever? If your dad finds out, he will surely be angry,"

"Akira, my life's such a mess, I'm such a mess, right?" asked Ayla flatly. "Yes, you are. If you ask for an honest answer, I'll say, yes Ayla, you are such a mess" Akira replied "Your mom won't like to see you like this," Akira added with a gentle touch on Ayla's shoulder. "She can't see me either," Ayla answered coldly.

Akira sighed before asking another question to the best friend she had known for over ten years, "Have you prayed today?" Ayla was silent. Akira's question made her speechless. She picked up the coffee cup in front of her and drank it, savoring the bitter taste of Americano coffee flowing down her throat. "Could that bring back Mama?"

"Could bring yourself back," said Akira before leaving Ayla to serve the other diners. There is no point in advising someone as numb as Ayla. Her mother's death changed her from being a warm-cheerful girl to a hard-to-reach apathetic person. Like the "skipping class" days that had passed before, Ayla returned to her house when the sun had been swallowed by the night.

"Where did you go today?" said Tanweer---her father---when Ayla had just closed the door. "School" answered Ayla shortly. "Mrs. Moureen called, you've been four days not showing up at school, where have you been, Ayla?" asked the man who was much taller than Ayla with a sharp gaze. Ayla stared at her father, speechless. Never thought Mrs. Moureen will call her father due to her absence. Didn't think too much, she thought. "Ayla, what do you want? Stop being childish, Ayla, you're not a child anymore" he added seeing Ayla had no signs of answering his question. "Tomorrow, I'll take you to school, stop acting up." he decided before leaving Ayla who was only silently staring at her feet. After the man who was 22 years older than her was leaving, there was a sobbing sound from a girl sitting at the door, covering her face. Ayla was crying. For some reason, the apathetic girl who never---almost---showed her emotions burst into tears.

For the past three weeks, Ayla has never skipped classes again. Every morning, Tanweer would take her to her school, making sure that Ayla walked through the tall, light blue gate with the name of the school she studied written above. It's also been three weeks since Ayla cried, she has become a much quieter person and always has no expression face anywhere and to anyone.

The bell alert that the end of today's teaching and learning activities had rung, Ayla immediately tidied up her things and hastily left her place. Boarding the bus that will take her out of the building that locked her up for nearly ten hours.

The circular object hangs on the gray wall with its two lines forming an acute angle of thirty degrees. Almost the entire room was dark, leaving a few rooms still in a state of light. The sound of metal colliding was heard followed by the sound of the door being opened and then closed again. A girl, still wearing a white shirt and black knee-length skirt with blue stripes, slowly enters a building with minimal lighting, just like thieves entering their victim's house. After removing the white laces that bound her shoes, the girl stepped slowly into the white door that had a hanger with her name on it.

"Where were you last night?" a man's voice made Ayla, who was baking her bread, slightly on tiptoe, surprised. Ayla didn't give a word, didn't know what to say because all she did was walk around aimlessly. "You're not skipping school anymore but now your hobby is coming home at midnight?"

"What do you want exactly, Ayla? Stop giving me a headache with your behavior, I don't only have you to take care of"

"I can take care of myself, you said I'm not a kid anymore, right?" replied the girl without turning her head, still focused on her cooking, even if it was just baking bread. "Is that how you respond to your parents? Have you lost your manners?" Tanweer sneered at his daughter. "What should I do?" Ayla said looking at her father blankly as if she had no interest in continuing the conversation that had made her sick this morning. "Don't be difficult to manage, Ayla, don't come home late, you have to look after your brother, I'll be home late."

"As it's your first time coming home late," sarcastically. "You're going to school alone today, I'll make sure you actually attend school so don't mess around" Tanweer added before leaving with his son, leaving Ayla. Ayla immediately prepared the things she would bring today and left her residence. "You're already here? Skipping again? It's only been three weeks now," said Akira. "Just Tiramisu for today"

"Isn't it too early for coffee? You keep drinking coffee every day, you've been hospitalized because of a stomach ulcer, you don't want something else?"

"Mom loves coffee"

"Then?"

"I want coffee"

"Fine, then." Akira said then left Ayla.

"Ra," Ayla called before the barista who was her friend went further.

"What else?" answered Akira in an unfriendly tone. "Thank you," Ayla said with a thin smile, very thin, but Akira could see it. Akira returned Ayla's smile, she knew, Ayla was trying to cover up her sadness. Since her mother's death, Akira has never seen Ayla cry, even at her mother's funeral, Ayla showed her best smile. But after that, there was only Ayla who was quiet and flat-faced. Akira misses her cheerful friend. Akira knows that Ayla will not just drink coffee and then go home, she will sit there even until the cafe closes. Akira does not know how to talk with Ayla anymore. Ayla used to be a very talkative person, without being asked she would tell anything that happened in her life. But now, even when asked, she only says a word or two. Ayla is also the type of person who smiles easily and is very friendly and cheerful, but now, even smiles can be counted on one hand, therefore, seeing Ayla's thin smile now is a miracle.

It's been the fourth day that Ayla has not come to school. This time, Ayla just stayed in her room, lying on a 120x200 bed wrapped in a dark blue bed sheet with an outer space pattern. Next week there will be final exams at school, but she does not care about that. The girl got up from her bed, walked out of her room, down the stairs, and opened the refrigerator. After getting all the ingredients for the dish she was about to make, she started cooking two meals for herself and her brother. The clock on the wall showed it was already midday, her sister had to go home soon. Ayla may look apathetic, but she is not. She still pays attention to small things such as household needs, cooking food, washing dirty clothes, and cleaning the house. Even though she does not talk much now, she still cares about her family, as small as preparing food for her father, who often comes home late since her wife died. She also noticed changes in her father who smoked more often at home, rarely ate breakfast, stayed up all night, and did other small things. Her younger brother also changed, becoming more rebellious, and unruly, and several times he got into trouble at school. 

"Why are you here?" said a man whose voice Ayla knew well. Ayla turned towards the source of the sound, slightly surprised to learn that her father was not working that afternoon. "I'm not feeling well"

"This morning you were fine"

"I'm not feeling well at school so I can go home first" Ayla replied calmly. Ayla is not a child who is good at lying, her chest is now rumbling. Her heart was pounding like a marathon runner who had just finished his run. Tanweer did not reply to Ayla's words anymore, the man with the thin mustache chose to open the refrigerator and took a bottle of cold water, and left.

The next day, Ayla decides to go to school after four days of skipping class. But it seems, this is an unlucky day for Ayla. Mrs. Moureen asked Ayla to meet her at her office after school hours. This is Ayla, in a beige room with light brown furniture. She was sitting in front of a middle-aged woman who was staring at her sharply. Mrs. Moureen handed her a rectangular envelope with the school's official stamp on the bottom right and told Ayla to take her parents to school to meet Ms. Moureen. Ayla did not stop by the coffee shop today. She immediately went home, then went into her room, and locked herself. She thought of how to tell her father that Mrs. Moureen wanted to meet him. Of course, what will be discussed is the problem of her skipping class. Of course, she'd be in trouble.

Ayla's guess was right, Mrs. Moureen wants to meet her father to talk about Ayla's absence which has been very chaotic this term. Ayla could not graduate from school if she kept skipping class. It is not just about school attendance, Ayla's grades have also been dropping, dropping a lot during this semester. At the beginning of the semester, her grades were stable, but starting in the middle of the semester, Ayla's grades chart decreased drastically. This is Ayla's last year of high school. Ayla should have increased her grades so she could get into her dream college, but Ayla seemed to have no motivation to continue studying. After meeting with Mrs. Moureen, Ayla went back home with her father. The atmosphere in the car was very awkward. No one started the conversation. Ayla held back her tears from falling freely from her eyes. Ayla knew, her father was holding anger beside her. The atmosphere that Ayla felt was so tense, even to move her finger, Ayla did not have the courage. 

The sky had turned dark, decorated with a sprinkling of twinkling stars. Completely beautiful. However, this beauty does not apply to Ayla's mood. Especially after her father knocked on her bedroom door. Ayla opened the white door of her room slowly, allowing her father to enter her room. "So you skipped class again yesterday?"

"You don't want to finish school, Ayla? What do you want to be? I didn't tell you to do anything else, just go to school and graduate with good grades, is it difficult, Ayla? Tell me, what do you want? I'm so sick of your attitude. That's it. Now whatever, whatever you want," Tanweer said loudly and quickly left Ayla's room. Ayla just silently watched her father leave. Her brain was still processing what had just happened. Her father scolded her. No wonder. Ayla was not upset by that. However, Ayla was disappointed that her father did not allow her to speak and convey her feelings. Ayla was not listened to, not even questioned.

Three days had passed since Mrs. Moureen met her father and what happened in Ayla's room. During those three days, Ayla did not even speak to her father, and vice versa. It's nothing new, ever since the queen left the house, the atmosphere of the house is like there is no life. Everyone went about their activities, without disturbing each other. Today is the first day of final exams at Ayla's school. After fighting with more or less a hundred questions in two subjects, Ayla visited a coffee shop that she had not been to for several days. Ordered an americano and listened to music through her headphones while watching the bustle of people outside where she was sitting. While enjoying her time, someone tapped Ayla's shoulder lightly which made Ayla focus her attention on her, Akira. "Why?" Ayla asked with a confused face. "Come on, let's pray, it's already Ashar," Akira asked her friend. "Can you go out?" asked Ayla again "Yes, the mosque is near here," Akira replied smiling. Ayla had forgotten the last time she prayed. It feels so long ago. It seems that after the death of her mother, she never does her five daily prayers. Ayla felt awkward when she entered the mosque and prayed there. "When was the last time you prayed?" asked Akira while they were tidying up their prayer equipment. "Huh?"

"When was the last time you prayed? I noticed that every time you were at my coffee shop all day, you didn't get up to pray, even for once. So when was the last time you prayed?" asked Akira more clearly. "I don't know?" Ayla's response was with her innocent face. Akira sighed, again and again trying to understand the situation Ayla was in. Losing someone very important and loved is not easy. Akira knows that. Akira tries to understand Ayla's behavior after her mother's death. However, this one must be fixed, Ayla cannot be left like that, or she will be further away from God. "Ay, can I say something?" asked Akira carefully.

"What?"

"What are you feeling now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Yes, how are you now?"

"I am okay?"

"How come you sound unsure about that?"

"I don't know, Ra"

"Ay, why do you think we pray?"

"I don't know?"

"In my opinion, La, prayer is the easiest way for us to communicate with God. With this prayer, five times a subuh, zuhr, asr, maghrib, isya, that means you talk to God five times," explained Akira "Okay, so?" asked Akira getting confused. "Astaghfirullah Ayla! If you need help, will you just stay quiet like that? You don't ask people for help? You don't talk to people like that? Just keep quiet like that?"

"What? No, I'll ask for help, I'll talk to people"

"So that's the point. You and other humans just ask for help through chatting, right? As humans, we don't only need the help of other humans, but we need help from our creator too. Who is our creator? Allah. So that's why you pray you can chat and ask God for help, about anything. After praying, you can tell God about anything, about your school, about your family, about your longing for your mother, and about your feelings, which you said you didn't know what you feel, Allah knows, Ayla, Allah will give you the answer" Akira explained exasperatedly. "How can I know the answer from God?"

"Now that's the magic of worship, Ayla, we never know when our prayers will be answered by Allah, when our questions will be answered by Allah, but we can feel that, that's why people who worship are asked to be patient in their worship because all prayers will be answered at the right time according to God's reckoning." Ayla listened silently to Akira's answer, her head thinking how many chances to tell Allah have she wasted? "Prayer Ayla, you are not alone, Allah never leaves you"

For the past few days, Ayla has not visited the coffee shop where Akira works. After finishing the exam, Ayla will go straight home. Akira's words the other day were running around in her head, keeping her awake almost every night. Ayla began to think about whether the reason for her loss of motivation in life was because of the worship she had neglected? Ayla does not know the exact reason and when she started to neglect her worship. Ayla only felt that she had lost the energy to do the things she usually did, to carry out her obligations, from going to school to pray. Ayla realized that she was very different from herself when her mother was still around. Also, her relationship with her father, which is practically not good in the past few months. She also shunned her schoolmates, building a tall invisible wall to separate herself from those around her. Ayla got up from her bed when she heard the sound of the azan, this time, without being reminded by Akira, Ayla got up to pray. After the prayer, Ayla sat on the prayer rug silently. Thinking about everything that had happened in the last few months. Starting from the death of her mother to the argument with her father. Ayla cried silently, thinking about these things made her cries which were initially silent grow bigger.

The clock still shows five in the morning. Ayla, who had finished her prayer, immediately rushed to the kitchen to cook breakfast for her father and sister. Today she will only make fried rice for her family's breakfast. An hour later, she saw her father and brother---Izar coming down the stairs.

"Breakfast first, Baba, Zar," Ayla said softly while preparing breakfast for her father. Ayla gave each a plate of fried rice and a glass of water to her father and her little brother who were sitting at the dinner table.

"Ba," Ayla called, glancing fearfully at her father. Tanweer turned his attention to his only daughter. Waiting for what the teenage girl will say. "Sorry. I'm sorry for being an annoying rebellious child. From now on I will make up my attitude, go to school diligently, and also not come home late again. I guarantee I graduate with good grades,"

Tanweer took a sip of water in front of him. "Ayla, you know I love you, right? Even though I don't show it the way you want, it doesn't mean I don't love you. You and Izar are the most beautiful things that happened in my life, Ayla. I'm also sorry if I'm too hard on you, and sorry too if my words and attitude hurt you. I will try to be a good father and mother for you and Izar,"

"Thank you, Baba, I love you too"