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3 Ways to Avoid Toxic Friends

6 April 2019   14:03 Diperbarui: 6 April 2019   14:14 13
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Kompasiana adalah platform blog. Konten ini menjadi tanggung jawab bloger dan tidak mewakili pandangan redaksi Kompas.
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It's important, however, to surround yourself with trustworthy people, who really show love and loyalty. For this reason, I will give you three tips to avoid toxic people that could drain your life energy.

Analyze how you feel

It is important that you understand how you feel when you are in the company of your friend. You are happy? Do you feel energetic? Or sad or desolate?
Well, avoid those "friends" who suck the energy right out of you with their incessant talk, emails, and texts about their all-consuming problems, and leave you completely drained. Of course, there's a difference between those type of friends and who is having just a bad day.
All you need to do is analyze how you feel every time you spend time with them.

Identify the people who let you be yourself

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Consistently pessimistic people cause you to inevitably commiserate and engage in negativity. Often that means changing who we really are. Should you dump a friend when she's struggling because she's unable to make you happy? Obviously not. But what happens when the friend is always dragging you down? I recently found myself never sharing good things about my own life and changing the way I communicated and behaved in order to avoid upsetting my always struggling friend. When I questioned the basis for the relationship and realized that I had compromised my true self, I knew I had to move on. I was flooded with an immediate and palpable sense of relief rather than regret, which validated that although difficult the decision was right for me.

Avoid becoming your friend's therapist

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There is a fine balance between being a supportive friend and becoming someone's therapist. While becoming a friend's therapist is unhealthy for both sides, the concept through thick and thin rings true provided that there is an underlying healthy give and take. There is a difference between "let me run this by you" and dreading every single phone call because we know it will invariably end up as a therapy session.

So, just keep the right role in the friendship.

Thanks for reading! See you soon.

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