* Written by a guest blogger:Â Wiwit, 16 years old
AS often as it is, news of depressed young people being highlighted by those who take the situation seriously. They happened for many reasons: each has his own. But everything has got to have the very beginning. What if the mentally-disturbed condition started all the way back from the past as a child? And what if its source is right from the parents?
I believe that every parents want good things happen to their kids. But sometimes, they forget one thing: their kids are kids. Young people, still have to learn many things, but yet have their own ideas and needs. What kind of next generation-adult will those parents create if they give their child nothing to take care of? In other words: the-parents-got-all ?
Can you imagine a last year primary student doing his homework with his parents beside him, telling him what to do, how to do it, and how it might end? I’m not saying that being helped doing homework is not right. My point is, why did his parents have no trust in him?
[caption id="attachment_220280" align="aligncenter" width="299" caption="Illustration: http://www.psychalive.org"][/caption]
That’s it about the trust. Now, let’s talk about expectations. Everyone has a right to hope, for him and others. So do the parents. They have a right to ask their children to reach their limits. But the children also have a right to ask their parents for letting them be proud of what they can do, not what they could. In order to get something big, we must think as big as it is. But in my opinion, we have to think ‘I will…’ despite of ‘If only…’. And the first step of all is having a sense of confidence of the way we are.
I’ve been involved with it. Well, not me—but my friends. When I was a primary school student, a friend of mine has had her experience. A rumor about her spread in among the students and parents. But it turned out that it wasn’t a rumor, it really happened. She was a smart one, one of those top standards. Sadly, her parents weren’t satisfied yet. They pushed her over and over, not letting her to get a score but the highest of all. Once she ‘messed up’, yells and hits waiting for her. At home.
I have another story. I once knew a girl that has won many science competitions. Her parents must be so proud of her. But in fact, as she grew up, she didn’t as well-developed as everyone thought she would. At the age of a teenager she has tried to have a suicide twice.
I am lucky, and I’m grateful for the fact that my parents have a belief that every child has his own particular time to shine. The time that they can reach out to their full potential when the feeling of being ready for it hits them. I just want you to know that whatever you’re doing, or going to do, they’ll all come back to you. The result, whether it’s good or bad will only affect you, not me, not anybody else. And you should take responsibility for it, my Mum said.
You might think that when a child is given to such a ‘freedom’, I might say, he’ll be out of control, not taking anything seriously, especially when it comes to study. But in the other hand, it might lead him to the beginning of a natural maturity. The last time my parents asked me to prepare for a test, was when I was in the first grade of primary school.
A usual respond I get is: really? Didn’t it make you lazy or what ? Well, I can say now, no. In fact, it really helped me enjoy studying. I can choose my ‘perfect time’. For someone that can’t help to stay still and focus—just like almost all of children in the world—have a control of when to do this or that aims to a comfortable situation which creates revolutionary ideas.