Heaven

On that night four years ago, upon publishing my article, there was a diplomat wife gave comment on my article. She is my friend on the blog community. I asked her why lately she never showed up with the article. With the smile emoticons she wrote,” Pak Rikho I go to the illusion world, when the real world does not need me”.

Like a gunshot bullet, she wrote something which strike right through my forehead. For some months I was so addicted to my unconscious passion in writing. I often stay up until dawn on the weekend just to write and post my article.

Even I refused when my wife had asked me to go to Mall. Yes, it was my daughter who insisted to have some fun playing with the mini carousel in that mall. This was because that Sunday I still had an unfinished article which I should publish on my kompasiana blog.

The next day I went home very late at night from work. My daughter was in bed asleep. I wrapped my arm around her. I can feel her breath. What my friend said about illusion world and real world kept creeping on my head.

I felt sorry for rejecting my wife request to play around with the daughter mini carousel. I sat in the living room accompanied only by the ticking of the clock. It was very silence as everybody were asleep.

Once, as I read on the Ahmad Tohari Novel “The Dancer”, was not the childhood is unrepeated heaven? Then why I wasted my daughter childhood just for my new hobby. Was it worth to sacrifice the happiness of watching my daughter grows? Heaven, was it form of happiness? Then I remember the lyrics for my favorite song. The title of the song is Heaven from hard rock group Warrant.Basedon my owninterpretation this “Heaven” is happiness (No one knows the exact interpretation except the lead vocalist Jani Lane, the writer).

I do need to be the king of the world

As long as long as I’m hero of this little girl

I do need to be a superman

As long as you’ll always be my biggest fan

Heaven is not too far away

Closer to it every day.

These lyrics keep inspiring me ever since my friend hit me with her term about illusion-real world. I guess the heaven is somewhere in between the illusion and the real world. Balance.

Rikho Kusworo 10/7/2016