Love Fool
When Two People May Loving Each Other Trying To Keep The Pride And Holding Self To Show The Feeling Of Loves, Hates And Angers...
In this life i be the main player. With God as the Director but i make my own scenario...
Ready to read? It's the next story of previous one, just read it till last, get the feeling and learn it, do not make the same mistakes i did. But i realise, there is nothing wrong if we love someone, just make sure she/he is the one who can accept you the way you are.. happy reading everyone..
How i hate the way he made me feel, i don't even need your love.
You treat me like a stranger, and i feel so rough...
I get no friend to tell all the things that i want to share about this, person that used to be special one to me. My friend that i used to tell about, never want to hear any single word if it's about him. Then i only can write it down here, between feeling of loss, free and i don't know anymore. She always right. Everything she told will always be the right one even if it's in my life, personal life. She used to be my friend that giving me much advice but then she gave up. I made her gave up. I was just too stubborn to hear her intend to explain. I said to her "it's alright, i can handle it myself". She kept trying to convince me to stop the feeling to him. But then i kept saying the opposite. So then she gave up. I told her and myself, he was not that kind of person that she thought about, he was good and yeah if he was just playing on me, that was okay, i would let it happen. Then she said about "i did warn you about this dear, next i didn't want hear any story of him anymore, i would not respond".
And then the day that prove everything was coming.
Day by day i was like a stupid who was lowing my "pride" just to make sure he was the right one. But then i found facts that making me so confused about. He was so close too many girl that i was sure it was a different feeling. First with the girl a, but she was just kind of friend only. Then with the girl b, but she was just another friend only that kind of a short-curiousity. And the girl c, it was the worst, just caught him with her in coincidence, very coincidence situation. And i knew her and all of those girls. My feeling started to erode. In that day i still remember, the most gray Saturday ever, and so seemed that the sky understanded what i was feeling that time. The sky rained alot and was kinda windy. And i was holding on my tears not to fall, at least not in his front. But then i did cry, alone at the corner of my college's bathroom, no one there, i was alone. What an embarassing. Then i thought alot between it was right or just i got misunderstood, and when i got better i stopped crying. the rain stopped falling too. I could get myself up again, then i started to convince myself to let my own feeling go, and start a new one. That was the event that make my start point to make myself stop caring for him, the one that would never know what i did and thought and cared about him, and even i tried hard to make him understand he would even bother anyway. And i did, March 1st i declared myself i wont get involved in any thing or situation or bussiness with him. Im really the new person that not chasing or looking for him, i did build myself up.
There was a sense of sympathy here
There was a sense of awing here
Sense of wanting to have you here
Put you in to this heart
To become the dweller
Trying to take shelter behind a pure heart
To find the truth itself
But then, it's all just a game of desire
To chase after a tricky love
I was cheated
...
Oh God, give me love that You left to guard
Ain't love that i put for someone
Ain't love that i put for someone...*
Said i would give everyone smile everyday and as possible as i could i would help them along. I arised and let my feeling go, felt so free and fresh. And she, my friend was right again, he was not good enough for me, and i was too good for him.
But that was not the end of the story, a few day after i commited that i let my feeling go, i heard a news that he was in a relationship with someone, i got a lil shocked about it, but i have already knew about that possibility. Â And what i did predict was right. He was with her, another girl. The bad one was i know her. She was my friend in my college. I did remember what he told me a year ago, he said " i'm not interested to have any special relationship with any girl whose in the same college with me". What a bullshit he was talking to me. And i did remember all those sweetest word you told me, did you mean it? Was you telling them the same?. Ah come on, i think thats too sadic, dude.
Maybe i'm just misunderstood about all the things you gave to me, if it is so, then i'm sorry, my bad. Now i wont hear any single thing about you, see your face, no, i can't face the same of loving the wrong person. I thought that you were right for me , but none. Dont worry, we're going to separate way, we're not gonna meet in the future. Why do im so sure? Because i ask God that way, and i believe it. Please now, do not make a fool of me.
Moral is, something you have to think clearly and do not let your heart drives you too much without you considering all facts that you have seen. Oh And hold your friend close. Cheers!
Thank ya readers....
Ends
Writer,
Putri Saya
*song that i've translated from Maidani