How Miserable I Was

How miserable I was

The dull room walls feel boring,
Hear the cry in the stifled pain
This girl used to be a brave dreamer,
Before the world shows its true nature

I don't know what to say when my heart hurts
All I know is that crying is normal
Do you know the most painful tightness?
When the sad and anger only rage in the chest

Who knows how does it feel if not for me
How do you know, because you don't care about me?
Everyone is just pretending to be worried about me
Even though they only wear fake face masks

Should I die to know who wept over my corpse?
Should I be the owner of the mount for you to be my friend?
I just hugged myself in doubt,
Asking the answers that are never convincing

To the all-seeing, don't you see this little insect?
Where is that piece of equally large bread?
Show me who is blind by this stupidity,
The life that runs like a wheel that keeps hanging

My eyes are empty, my heart is frozen, and my body is frozen
If it's because of my sin, I'm like this,
How do I end this?