Everything is Blue

Family is everything. 

My first sentence after leaving this media almost a year.

 Yeah... I am in blue. My mind can not compromise. I do not know what should to do. If you know, I just like a zombie. Life but have nothing.

Life runs but not my heart. It happened after the doctor said he passed away. I don't believe it, but it was true. 

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How can I stay?

Who will take care of my children?

What about my job?

Oh god...

Help me...

That day, I was like a crazy woman. Before he went away, I told him that the children were with him in the hospital. After a moment later, he closed his eyes forever.

 The children will not know what happen to them in the future.  Instead, I lost my everything. God loves him much, but I will be loneless, eventhough my children beside me.  There was something lost in my life.

I close my eyes and take my breathes.  My deep heart said "Six months ago, I were not okay."  Am I okay today? The answer is the same. The differences are I have to be a power woman. I have to do everything by myself.  If don't move, I will die. I have to keep my blues soul, my blues heart, and my blues life in my deep bodies. This way Will help me to act, work, educate, train, and hold my three children. 

I just believe, God knows I am strong and must be strong.