Losing Myself

the day is getting dark
the sun has already slept
but
my mind refuses to take a rest
from thinking about the bad and good things in the whole life
my soul keeps screaming
from anything that I've been or will through
.
the darker outside
reminds me of how darker my soul
i always wanted to bury my negative feelings
sometimes i win
many times i loose
.
no one to talk to
no place to go to
but
the tears were running out
hopeless
restless
wreckless 

I have lost my way
trying to look for someplace where to end the day
and
restarting new life all over again
besides
i had to forgive my past to start my future
i had to let go of what I'd been through
even though
it is not easy
because
every road i take
i always look back and realize that
my heart is still in recovery

Jakarta, 240223