They started calling me one by one. With a note of order in their hands. I approached and smiled, "Please wait about 15 minutes," those words have long been a part of my day. Maybe around a year? I quite enjoy it, sometimes. I love it when the smell of coffee and milk and dessert reaches my nose. I love how I can imagine the sweetness of a piece of cake just by smelling it. I like to see the customer's expression when they look satisfied with my dish. Maybe it's a feeling of pride? Who knows? I often don't even know my own feelings. I only like things that look like I can hold them.
Growing up as the first daughter of three siblings was enough to make me face the injustice of this world. I have experienced it since childhood. I don't know if I really experienced it or I just felt that way. I'm just the first child who is always last. And that's enough to make me a person who doesn't depend on other people. I'm being a pretty realistic person. I am a pure Asian living in an island nation in Southeast Asia. So are my parents.
"Hey Letha, time to go home!"
Thankfully she came, I'm getting tired of being here for hours. She is Rossa, my best friend.
“So glad you here, Rosa.” I walked up to her handing her my apron. She smiled very brightly. Must be having fun.
“Time to rest my beauty, have a good day. Don't forget to treat yourself with a warm bath." She just said that as She walked and jumped merrily towards the counter.
That's Rossa, she is a cheerful girl who smiles easily. Anyone who is with her will definitely feel comfortable and appreciated. She knows the best way to get close to someone. Even an untouchable human like me. Rosa is great.
Sometimes I wish to be like her. I'm grateful to having her in my life. Oh, not only Rosa, I'm grateful to have them in my life. Yes, they are Rossa and Vanya.
Unlike me and Rossa who come from the middle class, Vanya is a girl with very wealthy parents. His family is a businessman who knows many famous people and officials. However, of course no life is perfect. It is common knowledge (you know that rich people often have complex problems that we don't understand) that the harmony of Vanya's family is fake. And Vanya is used to being depressed with that. Thank God she has a lot of money. At least she doesn’t have to think about how to pay for college, and buy daily necessities. That’s what I always told her while she felt that her life is verry unfortunate.
And I'm just Aletha. Friends of Rossa and Vanya who really don't stand out anywhere. Has no greatness other than working and sometimes writing with stories that always end up abandoned and eventually change titles.
It's been a while, I'm so tired.
= = =
“"You worry too much, come with us and have fun!" they start again. Well, Rossa and Vanya.
"It's not about anything I just want to stay home."
"But we've been planning it for a long time, come along, please." They began to soften their voices like small children.
"You guys planned it, I just stay quiet whenever you guys bring this up."
"Come on, you'll meet a lot of men later,"
"I am not interested,"
They sighed. I actually feel a little guilty. They took me on a two day and one night vacation on a suburban beach. But I'm really not interested. Moreover, they plan to invite two of their acquaintances. What is certain is a man. Which just made me even more disinterested. they thought I didn't go because I was worried about my job and college. Though of course not.
"Okay, let's just cancel it."
Rossa and I looked at Vanya at the same time, then Rossa also said confidently, "Okay, let's just cancel it. It won't be fun anyway."
I had no idea that this was their next trick. Makes me feel very guilty. "Okay I'm coming..."
"Deal we leave tomorrow morning!" they shouted in unison.
"Just two days and one night. Nothing extra."
"Deals!”
= = =
Vanya came to pick me and Rossa up at our boarding house. She had been dressed up very charmingly with her long hair and sparkling sunglasses. Don't forget the beach dresses and sandals that look simply but everyone knows that they are very expensive. She is indeed a feminine girl. Rossa too, but not as feminine as Vanya. I? Of course, I've also become feminine since I became friends with them. Even a few months ago at a junior high school reunion, my old friends said that I look different now.
"As per our princess Letha's request. It's just the three of us going this time."
"Thanks," I said sarcastically knowing that they had set their date there later. It's only the departure that becomes separate.
We get into the car and start the journey that will last for approximately two hours. We will stay at one of the inns belonging to the Vanya family.
And here we are, enjoying basking in the afternoon sun while waiting for it to sink. Oh no! I forgot sunscreen.
"Vanya, I want to put on your sunscreen. I forgot to bring it."
"Just take the dresser drawer, I keep it there."
I walked in and headed for the dressing table in Vanya's room. I immediately put it on as soon as I saw it. I put it back. Wait a minute... what is that?
I was surprised to see a transparent package and some syringes. I'm assuming it's some antidepressant pills and sedatives. God, what happened to Vanya?
I walked back to the edge of the pool as if nothing had happened. After crying for a while. Of course, I cried. My fear is when I become a person who is not useful for the people closest to me. That's what scares me to have close friends.
Now, I feel like a failure as a friend. Then, how do I tell Rossa? I have to wait for the right time. But it looks like it should be soon. And also, it seems that my discovery earlier also answered why Vanya never wanted to sleep in the same room as us.
“Watch the sun go down!” Vanya smiled happily, while I looked at her worriedly.
"Letha, now is not the time to daydream. Let's take a photo!"
We took a photo together. Beautiful photo. The silhouettes of the three of us against a sunset backdrop.
"Now it's time for dinner! Let's go to the dining room. I'm sure they have prepared a lot of meat for us," Vanya's parents did have two chefs in this inn.
And sure enough. Everything has been served. We were a bit disappointed. Because we hope to grill the meat together. But it looks like the chefs were cooking it right away.
"I'm sorry, even though I told them this afternoon. Should we buy some more meat for us to grill?" Vanya seemed to feel bad for us.
"No need, isn't this good? We just have to eat it."
"That's right, it's been quite a tiring day to cook anyway."
We eat together. This chef's steak is very tasty and tender. But I can't enjoy it. I was nervous, and could only keep looking at Vanya, who had been laughing with Rossa.
"I'm done. I'm going to take a shower first. Enjoy your meal!" Vanya said and then went to her room.
"I think I have to tell you something," Rossa said, which made me look at her directly, "Me too,"
Rossa glanced curiously, "Okay, I'll tell you first. Vanya, she doesn't look good, does she? Yesterday night when I was about to go out, I thought Vanya had already come home from our boarding house, but it turned out she was crying in her car. Alone," Hearing that, of course, my feelings got worse. not good.
"I found anti-depressants and some syringes in her room, it looks like she's used them,"
Rossa and I were silent. Lost in our thoughts for a while. We honestly know about Vanya's depression. But Vanya said it was long over and she was fine now. It seems that the reality is quite the opposite.
"Let's go to her room." Then we went to Vanya's room to see the situation. The door was not closed tightly. Rossa knocked once then opened it. Vanya looks surprised.
"Hey, have you finished eating?" asked Vanya. She walked slightly backwards towards her dressing table. Maybe he's hiding it.
"Let's go out. Tonight, it looks like the beach is deserted." ask me.
The three of us got out and headed for the beach which was only a two-minute walk away. The three of us sat on the beach, but away from the waves, for fear of high tide.
"We've been friends long enough, haven't we?" I nodded.
"Of course, you're my only close friends."
"I also only have you," Vanya said.
"Aren't we close enough to share stories?"
"I'm not a person who likes to tell stories but I will always listen to your stories." I spoke.
"We know you're not okay Vanya."
"That's right, we're sorry to have to find out what you're hiding in such a way. So, it's time to tell the truth, right?"
Vanya stared blankly at the beach. Her eyes were glassy. For a few moments he was silent.
"You guys are right. I'm not okay. I'm broken inside. It hurts so much every night. No one can understand. Not even you. That's why I stay silent..." she started bursting into tears.
"What happened?"
"They forced me to marry a wealthy widower. Their friend. His name is David, he has a big business in Florida. My parents said I should marry him. You know my parents never even cared about me, not even themselves. They only cared about money and business."
"How old is he, Mr. David?"
"He's 40 years old now. My dad says I have to marry him at the end of the year,"
"Sorry, but your father must be crazy. How long has this match been going on?" I asked.
"It's been going on for almost a year. Dad always arranges our meetings. But I always make excuses. He hopes we get along. How crazy he is to give his 20-year-old daughter to acquaintances just for business."
"Oh my girl, you must be in a lot of trouble. Your father is too much." Rossa also hugged Vanya, who had been crying and I had hugged her since earlier.
"Now, what's your plan?" I asked wh0en Vanya's tears had subsided.
"To be honest I have a plan. But it's going to be a very big one."
"Tell me. What is it?"
"I'm going to leave this country. I'm going to disappear for a few years maybe? If that can wake them up," Rossa and I suddenly were surprised.
"Are you crazy? How are you going to live on? How were your studies? What if it's all for nothing and your father still finds you?"
Asked Rossa insistently.
"I've got everything planned out. I have enough in my savings for a few years. I'm taking a leave of absence from college. I'm not going to live a prominent life. I'm leaving no traces."
Rossa could only sigh. Of course, we are very worried.
"Have you told your condition to your parents?" Ask me. And Vanya just only smiled wryly.
"This is the saddest part. They know it. My diagnosis, my medication, my state at night, they know it. It's just that their ego is bigger than that," now she tells us while staring blankly ahead. It seems that there really is no other way to make Vanya's parents aware. For once, I'm grateful I'm not in Vanya's position.
Indeed, my parents also sometimes force me to do things that I really don't want. But it's not because of money.
I'm thinking now how hard it is to be Vanya. "Can't you just go close? I'm sure you want us to be able to visit you at least once a month," Of course we hope Vanya doesn't go too far.
"You know my father can easily find me. It's fine. I'll be right back, after all, it's still August. It's still a little while until I'm gone."
"When are you going?"
"The old man plans to marry me before Christmas. So, I will go in November, with careful preparation of course,"
"Even if you're going to disappear from your father, promise not to disappear from us. Keep sending word," I really hope she will fulfill my request.
"Hopefully,"
= = =
It's already November. I'm thankful I came along. Otherwise, I wouldn't know Vanya's condition, nor his plans for November. It's been a week since Vanya's departure abroad. She hasn't texted anything since we dropped her off at the airport a week ago. We don't know how it is. Just hope she's okay.
From Vanya's problem, I realized that there are many parents in this world who only demand but don't think about their children's feelings. Aren't parents supposed to be the ones who protect their children the most? What if the child actually wants to protect himself from his parents?
