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Michael Nugraha Budiarto
Michael Nugraha Budiarto Mohon Tunggu... Konsultan - Managing Director of ASEAN Youth Organization | Founder eDUHkasi | Passionate Leader

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Selene's Smile

25 September 2019   17:48 Diperbarui: 25 September 2019   18:15 13
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Selene's warm and calming smile can't be seen as if it followed my heart. I'm all alone. Her tears filled up my lonely night. It's been 6 months. I couldn't say any other word but yes, seeing him kneeled before me. My mind went mad, i couldn't take my eyes off him. That was the moment i've been waiting for. "Amor Vincit Omnia" That's what i believed. Distance would be nothing against our love for each other. I really loved him and never have i missed a day waiting for his words to pop up on my screen. Crossed numbers, counting days.

As days go by, he began to impress me how sweet he is and how amazing the way of thinking he has. I quoted some of his believes and something bothered my mind. He didn't believe true love. I couldn't help but think, "why he asked me out on a date when he didn't even believe such thing as love?". Almost every moment he asked "how come you love me?" and almost everytime too i answered "You'll get it someday" and it always ended up a fight. I couldn't believe behind that sweet personality, stood a stubborness. That moment, 12 November 2017 was our worst fight. I got mad because i couldn't stand him being a very stubborn person. I couldn't stand, why he didn't realize that i really loved him. I showed him so much, yet the more he asked. I started to think that he didn't love me. I left him. "I'm done", i said. I ran off and cried, yet he didn't try to come and get me. That was a week before his birthday. I spent days crying in my bedroom, unlimited messages and phone calls popped up on my screen. I still didn't have the mood to answer him.

 The day before his birthday, i decided to call some of his close friends and siblings to make him a surprise party. I regret my decision to ran off. 00.00 he got home, he was always a busy worker. As he turned on the light, i sang Perfect by Ed Sheeran with minor changes in the lyrics. I sang it with all my heart. Words come out of my mouth spontaneously, saying how grateful i was to be with him. "There's no other guy like you, so caring and loving. Always here for me in every highs and lows in my life. You are my other half. I hope your love for me will never deplete". There he stood, in front of me and his friends. He looked at me and cried. He hugged me and said "God has given me the  best gift i've ever received, and i loved it so much. I want him to know how grateful i am". Selene smiled, shaded that night with its beautiful light.

After that night, I often imagined that he would suddenly knock on my door and would hug me and kiss me on my forehead. I feel me loving him more and more every day passed. Imagining was the best i could think of to cheer my day up. But that night, my imagination came true. Time stopped. No words could come out of my mouth, my body wouldn't move as if i were paralyzed. He was wearing his favourite shirt with his short denim that he usually use when we hung out. I hugged him so tight. "Days felt like years, you know. I missed you". He kissed me. I brought out  a warm cup of tea for him. That night sure was cold but he didn't bring any jacket. We talked, catching up on each other. He looked at me with his cute smile, i fell for him over and over again. He held my hand and asked me to park near my house. We sat there. "Look at the stars" he said. "Beautiful isn't it?" he asked. "Yeah.." i answered. "Stars, as beautiful as they are, they won't stay there forever" he said. "What are you trying to say?", i asked. No answers. "Now i want you to close your eyes okay? I love you sweetheart"

*Sounds* Wake up!Wake up! Are you okay? You have to wake up now! Please...

I woke up surrounded by my family and friends. He's gone. On our first anniversary.

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