Rediscovering Yourself: A Journey to Self-Love and Personal Growth After Breakup

Salsabila Hermala Puteri (1st), Primarshah Dina Amalia (2nd) , Tatu Zakiyatun Nufus

Psychology faculty of UIN Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta, Indonesia

This article aims to find out the importance of self-love in the formation of personal growth after a breakup. The method used in this article is Library research so that the data used is obtained through relevant books, articles, and journals. The results of this study highlight the importance of self-love in forming a strong foundation for personal growth after a breakup.  The results of research conducted by McCullough (1998) show that feelings of breakup can motivate individuals to avoid contact with their former partners and encourage feelings of revenge. Understanding and honing self-love provides an opportunity to form healthier relationships in the future and achieve full potential in personal life. The practical implications of this study include concrete guidelines for individuals experiencing a breakup to embark on a journey towards recovery and sustainable personal growth.

Everyone who experiences falling in love and is in a relationship with a loved one definitely wants a long-lasting relationship. However, every relationship sometimes has various problems that can lead to relationship breakdown or what is commonly referred to as a breakup. Love is a complex term and can be interpreted in different contexts by different individuals. In general, love refers to feelings that involve care, concern, and deep affection for another person whom one loves. In addition, love can create strong emotional bonds and give people a sense of well-being and happiness when they are with their loved ones. Indirectly, the relationship that is formed also plays a role in the condition of a person's psychological well-being, especially on how love can affect the individual.

The existence of a large enough role has a significant impact on the failure of love itself. When in this phase, individuals will tend to experience feelings of loss, confusion, and deep sadness after the breakup phase.  In Bercheid and Fei's research, it has been found that psychological factors, especially failures in love relationships, can be the main cause of a person's depression compared to problems arising in social relationships with friends. The results of this study underscore the significant emotional impact of a breakup, which not only creates a feeling of loss in a romantic relationship but can also trigger more serious psychological conditions such as depression. These findings suggest that it is important to understanding the close relationship between the emotional aspects of romantic relationships and one's mental well-being. Therefore, an in-depth understanding of the psychological impact of a breakup can provide a foundation for designing more appropriate psychological interventions to help individuals better navigate this difficult period.

However, over time the adaptation process will begin with changes in various aspects, one of which is the process of self-development and the growth of self-love. This self-love is expected to help individuals to control emotions, and make self-love as a way to vent bad emotions into something positive. According to Khoshaba (2012), the concept of self-love can be defined as a state of self-esteem that arises from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love is not just a positive outlook but also includes the importance of giving value and attention to oneself, which can strengthen the strength of the individual's mental and emotional well-being. By understanding and applying self-love post-breakup, individuals can build a strong foundation to achieve sustainable personal growth.

Self-love can also create personal growth, Post-breakup, individuals have the opportunity to undergo a personal growth process that can shape them into a better version of themselves.The experience of a breakup is often a turning point that demands significant personal growth. Post-breakup, individuals have the opportunity to undergo a process of personal growth that can mold them into a stronger and wiser version of themselves. First of all, the occurrence of separation forces one to reflect on their personal identity and values. Through this reflection, individuals can understand better who they are, what they need, and how they want to see themselves in the future.

Everyone who experiences falling in love and is in a relationship with a loved one definitely wants a long-lasting relationship. However, every relationship sometimes has various problems that can lead to relationship breakdown or what is commonly referred to as a breakup. Love is a complex term and can be interpreted in different contexts by different individuals. In general, love refers to feelings that involve care, concern, and deep affection for another person whom one loves. In addition, love can create strong emotional bonds and give people a sense of well-being and happiness when they are with their loved ones. Indirectly, the relationship that is formed also plays a role in the condition of a person's psychological well-being, especially on how love can affect the individual.

The existence of a large enough role has a significant impact on the failure of love itself. When in this phase, individuals will tend to experience feelings of loss, confusion, and deep sadness after the breakup phase.  In Bercheid and Fei's research, it has been found that psychological factors, especially failures in love relationships, can be the main cause of a person's depression compared to problems arising in social relationships with friends. The results of this study underscore the significant emotional impact of a breakup, which not only creates a feeling of loss in a romantic relationship but can also trigger more serious psychological conditions such as depression. These findings suggest that it is important to understanding the close relationship between the emotional aspects of romantic relationships and one's mental well-being. Therefore, an in-depth understanding of the psychological impact of a breakup can provide a foundation for designing more appropriate psychological interventions to help individuals better navigate this difficult period.

However, over time the adaptation process will begin with changes in various aspects, one of which is the process of self-development and the growth of self-love. This self-love is expected to help individuals to control emotions, and make self-love as a way to vent bad emotions into something positive. According to Khoshaba (2012), the concept of self-love can be defined as a state of self-esteem that arises from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love is not just a positive outlook but also includes the importance of giving value and attention to oneself, which can strengthen the strength of the individual's mental and emotional well-being. By understanding and applying self-love post-breakup, individuals can build a strong foundation to achieve sustainable personal growth.

Self-love can also create personal growth, Post-breakup, individuals have the opportunity to undergo a personal growth process that can shape them into a better version of themselves.The experience of a breakup is often a turning point that demands significant personal growth. Post-breakup, individuals have the opportunity to undergo a process of personal growth that can mold them into a stronger and wiser version of themselves. First of all, the occurrence of separation forces one to reflect on their personal identity and values. Through this reflection, individuals can understand better who they are, what they need, and how they want to see themselves in the future.

• Formation of a New Identify

 In the early days for someone who experiences a breakup, they will usually start looking for meaning about how and why this breakup happened. Then, the individual will go through a phase of seeking wisdom religiously about how the individual thinks what plans are actually prepared by God. Furthermore, at the stage of forming a new identity, a person will tend to reshape himself by trying to better understand himself and rebuild the spirit of life.

• Building Self-Love

Loving yourself is the most important stage, when a person is able to love himself well, he will more easily recognize signs of stress or other things that are happening to him. When someone is experiencing a down phase such as a breakup, it will certainly be difficult to control the emotions of despair that are bursting. When we are able to build love for ourselves, it will help counteract the negative emotions that result from the heartbreak. By loving oneself, one will be motivated to keep getting up and striving to create new dreams. Loving yourself after a breakup is not just about getting through the grief, but also about personal growth and positive development. Many studies have shown that people who are able to love themselves have a lower risk of developing anxiety disorders or depression.

• Social Support

  Social factors certainly have a significant influence in helping the recovery process after a breakup. It is not only about physical recovery, but also emotionally or internally. One of them is by talking to family or friends, this can provide emotional peace and help to release various pent-up emotions. The existence of social support, provides a space for someone to be heard and understood. Various valuable messages given by the closest people will help someone to get out of the post-breakup grief zone. Through acceptance, new identity formation, positive behavior change, and social support, individuals can embrace the journey of recovery with courage and compassion towards themselves.

This research is qualitative in nature using library research. According to Abdul Rahman Shohreh, library research is a type of research whose data is obtained through facilities available in libraries, such as books, magazines, or other relevant research. Library research allows researchers to gain a deeper understanding of key concepts, theories, and insights related to the topic they are researching.

A breakup can cause a significant psychological impact on the individual experiencing it. Symptoms such as decreased appetite and loss of enthusiasm for daily activities are often present due to the pain of the event. A breakup is described as the end of a relationship with a partner, and the person experiencing it often feels deep pain. Research by Kross and colleagues suggests a link between neural activity in individuals who feel physical pain and those who experience social rejection, such as a breakup.

Several negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, shame, and guilt, are believed to be felt by individuals experiencing a breakup. Some even face a state of despair and, in extreme cases, could face the risk of suicide. For example, in 2020, a female student committed suicide after experiencing a breakup in Bali. Furthermore, in 2019, a 20-year-old young man from Pekalongan committed suicide by hanging himself and recording the incident on his cellphone. He did this because he was depressed after a breakup (Anwar, 2019).

The results of research conducted by McCullough (1998) show that feelings of breakup can motivate individuals to avoid contact with their former partners and encourage feelings of revenge. When experiencing a breakup, individuals tend to seek ways to protect themselves from the potential pain and emotional stress that may arise from interacting with a former partner. The desire for revenge may arise in response to a sense of disappointment, and individuals may feel the need to reassert their control or self-worth following a breakup.

Understanding these emotional dynamics can provide insights into the ways in which individuals can manage post-breakup feelings and respond more healthily.  These events have provided tangible evidence of the extent to which a breakup impacts a person's mental health. The importance of applying self-love and personal growth after a breakup can certainly rule out negativity like the cases that have occurred.  Self-love is not a static state, but rather a dynamic appreciation of self that develops through actions that support physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. According to Khoshaba (2012) and Henschke and Sedlemeier (2021), self-love is not only a positive attitude towards oneself, but also an ability that can be learned and maintained for life. Individuals who practice self-love tend to have high self-awareness, can accept their strengths and weaknesses, and are willing to actively care for themselves and establish healthy relationships. In the context of society, the application of self-love is considered important, especially for adolescents, to help them develop self-understanding, increase self-compassion, strengthen self-confidence, and avoid risky behaviors. The application of self-love is expected to contribute positively to psychological well-being and healthy behaviors.

In conclusion, research on self-love and personal growth following a breakup highlights the importance of understanding and caring for the self in the face of significant emotional change. The results show that self-love, as a dynamic appreciation of oneself, plays a key role in supporting personal growth after a breakup. The ability to accept and deal with oneself, both strengths and weaknesses, becomes a key foundation for positive self-development. This process allows individuals to focus on physical, psychological, and spiritual growth, leading to the formation of healthier relationships and a deeper understanding of oneself.

 In the context of a breakup, self-love can be an important tool to help individuals, particularly adolescents, cope with emotional pain, increase self-confidence, and avoid harmful behaviors. The (Kurnia, Khumas, & Firdaus, 2023) a role of self-love provides space for the person to continue to improve themselves and be able to get over the sadness that occurs after a breakup. Therefore, understanding and applying self-love is a meaningful step in supporting the journey of personal growth after a breakup.

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