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The Seven Days Diary of A Working Mom

8 November 2024   19:05 Diperbarui: 8 November 2024   20:57 124
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Kompasiana adalah platform blog. Konten ini menjadi tanggung jawab bloger dan tidak mewakili pandangan redaksi Kompas.

Day 1: Setting the Scene

Dear diary...

It was 7:00 a.m., I woke up feeling great in my pajamas in my cozy downtown apartment. The iconic "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Toploader was playing in the background, signalling a beautiful day and I'm ready to crush it. 

Okay. Stop. Those are pure delulus. My reality... isn't much like it.

In the world I live in, 7:00 a.m. was a battleground. The kitchen was chaotic; coffee was brewing, toast was popping, and somewhere in the middle of cooking my phone buzzed with a meeting reminder. Then my husband barged in with his unfinished tie, frantically searching for his working bag. I handed it to him without missing a beat, a silent exchange only tight scheduled parents understood. 

In the dining room, I saw my two kids with their own activities. Canti, my ninth-grade junior high schooler, was busy packing her own lunch. In front of her was my little Rakai who was just five years old, sitting in a chair waiting for his favourite peanut butter and jelly.

As an employed mama, it always feels like I'm wearing two caps, seamlessly switching between a "work cap" and a "home cap". But it's not just about working double and having my freedom; it's about how I balance both roles with my husband, making sure our responsibilities at home are as shared as possible---a principle rooted in joint household supply.

Day 2: Breaking Stereotypes

Dear diary...

Dividing my two major responsibilities was overwhelming. Some of my relatives have made comments, questioning my decision as to why I put myself through stressful work while having a family. They always said, 

"You could just be home with your children." 

The answer is; I won't. I was lucky enough to be born in a family that supports my abilities, regardless of gender. My mother always said it's important for a woman to be financially independent, reminding me about feminism and the significance of equality. 

Despite enjoying myself as a full-time worker, I'm also grateful that I could contribute to our household's stability, security, and happiness. I believe, being a working mom or housewife is a choice. 

Apart from having an option, according to World Bank Chief Economist, Indermit Gill, women have the power to turbocharge the sputtering global economy. Closing gender gaps in areas such as employment and entrepreneurship could increase global gross domestic product by 20% (World Economic Forum, 2024).

Gender equality and women empowerment are vital to the development agenda of economies (IMF and World Bank, 2007). Those movements make good economic sense and support other development goals including nutrition, education, and reducing child mortality.

Day 3: The Co-Parenting

Dear diary...

Every day, my weekdays are packed. Fortunately, my husband and I make a pretty good team. Before exchanging vows sixteen years ago, we decided to co-parent and respect each other's values.

In our house,decision-making relates to the theory of joint household production by Gary Becker (1965). It is simply about how each partner should take on collaborative duties of cooking, cleaning, and childcare.

The concept of joint household production took off from Becker's household production theory, which claims that households generate commodities and services utilizing market resources and time of the household members, with the goal of maximizing utility through effective time and resource allocation.

The utility function of household production theory is shown as U=U(Z1, Z2; T) where Z1 and Z2 are regarded as various commodities produced by the household; such as meals, childcare, etc. Followed by T as total time allocated to numerous activities. This function emphasizes that households must navigate the budget and time constraints to maximize their overall satisfaction.

Seeing Figure 1, the household supply graph shows how a household balances time spent on domestic tasks with total consumption, given a certain wage rate. In fact, women have the option not to work if the household already has a source of income from their husband. Even if the wives devote 100% of their time doing housework, nevertheless they receive an income of Y.

Figure 1. Joint Labour Supply

Source: dok. Setyonaluri (2024)
Source: dok. Setyonaluri (2024)

But, in order to increase resource use efficiency, the joint household production theory states that households could act as units, maximizing total household output by assigning tasks based on each member's comparative advantage. Traditionally, one partner (usually the mother) focuses on unpaid domestic labour while the other (usually the father) focuses on earning money. Nowadays, having both mom and dad contributing economically through involved fatherhood, where fathers also participate in domestic responsibilities is important. This revolution not only benefits working mothers, but also conforms with Becker's evolving theories that household responsibilities are reallocated based on talents, availability, and preferences rather than fixed gender norms.

So, what other benefits does involved fatherhood offer? In fact, in countries where fathers hold more egalitarian views towards child rearing and non-paid care, the wage gap is smaller (Andringa, Nieuwenhuis, & van Gerven, 2015) compared to countries that don't.

The truth is, embracing a more equal split at home means more than just fair workloads and economies; it's about respect, balance, and teaching my children the importance of partnership.

Day 4: If I'm Doing This, What's in it for My Family?

Dear diary...

I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I fear that we're missing out on opportunities because we don't have enough time for Canti and Rakai. But at the same time, we're setting a balanced and equitable relationship for our children, teaching them that each family member plays an important role.

The financial benefits of being a dual-income parent are huge for our family. Besides contributing to monthly expenses, my income allows us to make decisions that support our family's well-being, like paying for Canti's piano lessons, Rakai's daycare, or going on occasional family trips. I know that every extra bit I earn helps in creating a better life for ourselves---and if there is a break in employment, we can benefit from increased financial security.

Day 5: Actually, Can I Have Everything?

Dear diary...

It's tough. 

Living in one of Jakarta's satellite cities, 24 hours a day is still not enough. 

I get up before the sun comes up, making multiple journeys throughout the day, including going food shopping, and dropping Canti and Rakai to school. Then I load myself into a crowded commuter line to go to work, enduring Jakarta's legendary traffic congestion and long commutes.

It is not a secret for married women with young children that long commutes forces them to have to give up time at home in order to enter the workforce. At the same time, it also increases the opportunity cost for them to pursue careers.

Claudia Goldin's research on the "parenthood effect" sheds light on this dilemma by examining how modern labour markets often place women at a disadvantage because they demand flexibility from workers. Women are still frequently seen as the primary caregivers, potentially limiting their ability to aim for higher-paying roles. Balancing these demands with employment can be especially challenging, as the partner (typically the woman) who reduces work hours often faces reduced professional growth opportunities. These limitations have a major impact on women's earnings and career paths, indicated by the declines in women's income following childbirth as we can see in Figure 2.

Figure 2. The Parenthood Effect Curve

Source: The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences (2023)
Source: The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences (2023)

Where I'm living, I frequently witness real cases. As seen in Figure 3, the female labour force participation rate in Indonesia, which tends to drop significantly once women have birth, especially in Jakarta.

Figure 3. Female Labour Participation Rate in Jakarta and Indonesia, 2018

Source: BPS-Statistics Indonesia (2018)
Source: BPS-Statistics Indonesia (2018)

Compared to males, women are more likely to be absent in the workforce during their childbearing years, except for pre-birth and early childhood years. This, of course, isn't the result of active discrimination, but due to the fact that women carry children and give birth, and that in itself is a dangerous activity (NBER, 2011).

Moreover, unlike other Indonesian women, Jakartan women seem to be out of the labour market for the rest of their life (Setyonaluri, 2019). The formal sector in Jakarta is fiercely competitive, therefore it is more difficult for women who have been unemployed for years to re-enter the workforce because they have less work experience (Setyonaluri, 2019).

Day 6: A Hopeful Future

Dear diary...

It's finally the weekend---and right now, I'm writing this on top of a hill.

Canti, my daughter, has been talking about camping since forever, so we took our family for a short nature getaway. We had a wonderful day---hiking up trails, discovering hidden streams, and laughing as we helped Rakai set up his first little tent. 

As I sit here, looking out at the chilly night sky while my children and their dad joke around nearby, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for moments like these, where we can share responsibilities and memories equally. I wish every mom could experience the same kind of support. 

It also makes me wonder about how much easier life could be for working moms if we had more reliable support systems beyond our families. Access to affordable and quality daycares would give moms peace of mind.

This started off from the lack of childcare services that limited women's participation in the formal workforce. Over the last two decades in Indonesia, female labour force participation has stagnated around 50 percent (Cameron, 2023), closely linked with marriage, childbirth, and raising young children (Cameron, et al. 2019, Schaner dan Das 2016, Setyonaluri 2013, Widarti 1998). Hence, many women face wage gaps in formal sectors or turn to informal work with lower pay for flexibility. 

Unfortunately, Indonesia's investment in early childhood and child daycare is still low. In 2020, the budget allocation for the education, health and creative economy sectors in Indonesia was only 0.04% of total GDP, far below the OECD recommendation for the government to invest 1% of GDP for the education, health and creative economy sectors (O'Donnell, et al., 2022). This is indicated through Figure 4 below, implies that taking care of children is still the family's matter, not the government's.

Figure 4. Public Expenditure on Children's Education and Pre-Primary Education and Total Public Expenditure on PAUD (% of GDP, 2017 or latest)

Source: O'Donnell, et al. (2022)
Source: O'Donnell, et al. (2022)

Thus, investing in early childhood education and care (ECEC) is beyond gender equity and essential to support early brain development, lay foundations for health and education, and boost future economic and civic engagement for children. Increasing public budget allocations for ECEC will enhance women's employment and foster economic growth (Setyonaluri, et al., 2023).

Day 7: After All, It's A Choice

Dear diary... 

The thing is; I never regretted my decision of juggling between work and being a full-time mom. I was also supported by my husband's involvement.

I realise that being a parent means I have something to sacrifice, whether it's the opportunity to be promoted at work or time for myself. But, it is also a choice that anyone has the right to. 

Looking back, it's not a short journey and I wouldn't want it another way. I hope that everyone that has roles as mother, father, family, government, or society would help working moms care for their children. Because as some may say, 

"It takes a village to raise a child."

Until next time..

Anggia Putri T. | Ilmu Ekonomi 2023 | Staff Divisi Kajian KANOPI FEB UI 2024

References

  • Behson, S., & Robbins, N. (2016). The Effects of Involved Fatherhood on Families, and How Fathers can be Supported both at the Workplace and in the Home. In UNITED NATIONS Department of Economic and Social Affairs (UNDESA) Division for Social Policy and Development,, New York.

  • Elborgh-Woytek, K., Newiak, M., Kochhar, K., Fabrizio, S., Kpodar, K., Wingender, P., Clements, B., Schwartz, G., International Monetary Fund, Strategy, Policy, and Review Department, & Fiscal Affairs Department. (2013). Women, Work, and the Economy: Macroeconomic Gains from Gender Equity. In S. Tiwari & C. Cottarelli, Women, Work, and the Economy: Macroeconomic Gains from Gender Equity (pp. 1--28). 

  • Gender Gap: This is the state of work for women in 2024. (2024, September 10). World Economic Forum.

  • Goldin, C. & THE ROYAL SWEDISH ACADEMY OF SCIENCES. (2023). History helps us understand gender differences in the labour market. In THE PRIZE IN ECONOMIC SCIENCES 2023 (p. 2). 

  • Heckman, J. J. (2015). Introduction to a Theory of the Allocation of Time by Gary Becker. The Economic Journal, 125(583), 403--409. 

  • Jaquette, C. (2022, August 10). The Benefits of a Two Working Parent Household - SageVest Wealth Management. SageVest Wealth Management. 

  • Membuka Masa Depan: Alasan untuk Berinvestasi dalam Ekonomi Keperawatan. (2023). In White Paper Dari LPEM Bagi Indonesia: Agenda Ekonomi dan Masyarakat 2024-2029 (pp. 19--32). LPEM FEB UI. 

  • Setyonaluri, D. (n.d.). Can women have it all? Working and mothering in Indonesia's capital Jakarta. The Conversation. 

  • Setyonaluri, D., Utomo, A., & ANU- Indonesia Project. (2015). Negotiating work, family, and the traffic. In Bandung, 16-17 May 2016. 

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