The Pathetic Tone in "To Fathers with Daughter"

Here's the poem To Fathers with Daughter by Rupi Kaur that I want to appreciate.

To Fathers with Daughters by Rupi Kaur

every time you

tell your daughter

you yell at her

out of love

you teach her to confuse

anger with kindness

which seems like a good idea

till she grows up to

trust men who hurt her

cause they look so much

like you

After reading Rupi Kaur's poem To Fathers with Daughters, I feel deeply moved by how the poet creates a feeling of quiet sadness and soft advice. Even though the poem is short, it holds a lot of emotion. It shows how a father’s actions, without meaning to, can affect the way his daughter understands love and trust. Kaur’s touching tone makes her message even stronger, helping readers feel the daughter’s pain and confusion. I can sense her vulnerability and relate to her experience. This makes the poem powerful and unforgettable.

First of all, I admire how the feeling of sadness is shown through Kaur’s choice of words and the way the poem is written. The poet uses simple, straightforward language, which makes the experience she talks about feel relatable to everyone. In lines 3-6 like, “you yell at her / out of love / you teach her to confuse / anger with kindness” show the daughter’s emotional hurt in a way that feels honest and real. The short, plain style of the poem matches the seriousness of the problem, making the father’s actions feel even more impactful. This sorrowful tone helps readers think deeply about how love, when mixed with anger, can cause harm that was never intended.

Besides sadness, Kaur’s tone also has a gentle sense of advice or warning. In the lines 7-9, “which seems like a good idea / till she grows up to / trust men who hurt her,” the poem shifts from talking about what the father does to showing the long-term effects of his actions. This advice is soft but clear that doesn’t blame the father but makes him think about how his way of showing love might affect his daughter’s future. The poem has no punctuation, which makes it feel like it flows continuously, just like the lasting impact of the father’s behavior. This flowing style strengthens the tone of gentle warning without sounding harsh or accusing.

Furthermore, the poem feels even more emotional because of its tone of vulnerability. Kaur writes as if she is an observer, which makes it feel like she is gently asking fathers to see how delicate their daughters’ feelings are. In lines 10-11, “they look so much / like you,” is especially heartbreaking. It shows how painful it is for a daughter to connect love with harm. This makes her fragile situation very clear. The tone of the poem makes readers think about how much parents’ actions affect their children’s emotions and how these moments can leave lasting marks.

Based on the poem, I can see that To Fathers with Daughters by Rupi Kaur uses a tone of sadness, gentle advice, and vulnerability to show the deep emotions in family relationships. With her simple but powerful words, Kaur explains how a father’s actions can affect his daughter’s understanding of love and trust for her whole life. This memorable poem not only makes readers feel for the daughter but also encourages them to think about their own actions and relationships. It is a wonderful example of how tone can make a poem’s emotions even stronger and more touching.