4. Fear of Choosing the Wrong Partner
Doubts about a partner's character or compatibility often deter people from committing. For example, if someone marries a man with rigid patriarchal views who refuses to share household responsibilities, or if the partner exhibits negative behaviors like frequent infidelity, the fear of unhappiness in the marriage exacerbates anxiety. This fear can also stem from past experiences or stories from others who faced issues with unsupportive partners or demanding in-laws.
5. Feeling Not Ready
Many delay marriage due to concerns about financial, mental, or emotional readiness, even though no one feels entirely "ready". Everyone will face anxiety about marriage, regardless of their age or level of preparedness. This sense of unpreparedness often arises from concerns about dividing responsibilities, building a family, and navigating the life changes that occur after marriage.
Social media plays a significant role in shaping the "marriage is scary" mindset, especially among younger couples. According to Nuridha Weningsari, M.Psi, a psychologist, platforms like TikTok allow users to openly share personal experiences, often highlighting the negative aspects of marriage, like "What if he doesn't want to co-parent because he thinks it's only the mother's job? What if he doesn't defend me in front of his family? What if he hides financial matters from me? What if I'm not allowed to work and can only stay at home? Or what if his family always blames me when there are issues in our marriage?" These anxieties reflect a broader fear of marriage becoming a source of injustice or confinement to traditional roles. In an era valuing equality and independence, many women aspire to pursue careers and personal freedom, but societal and familial expectations often push them to.
Excessive fear of commitment in marriage, known as gamophobia, is an irrational fear of marriage that can significantly impact both mental and physical health. Individuals with gamophobia often experience intense stress and anxiety when confronted with marriage-related situations, which can lower their overall quality of life. According to Alodokter, physical symptoms of gamophobia may include palpitations, cold sweats, dizziness, nausea, shortness of breath, and chest pain.
How to overcome this? According to Psych Central, there are several steps that can be taken to deal with the fear of marriage, helping individuals feel more prepared and confident in entering into it, such:
1. Have Realistic Expectations
Understand that no one is perfect, and conflicts are natural in marriage. Discuss expectations, principles, and both strengths and weaknesses with your partner to build a supportive and growth-oriented relationship.
2. Prepare with Knowledge
