A Letter for Mom

Dear Mom

I miss you so much. Two years ago, you passed away. My heart was broken at that time. I was not ready to see you go.

But I could not say anything. My tongue was lost of power. I cried in my heart; my tear didn't drop even a little bit.

Mom.

I am sorry. I knew I had let you down many times in the past. I knew you expected me to become a successful and rich person. But until you died, I couldn't fulfill your dreams.

I am so sorry, Mom.

I had wasted my time when I was young.

Although you are not in this world anymore, I believe, from up there, you still care for me.

I remember my childhood. I helped you to take care the flowers. There were also many plants to be taken care. Aloe vera was the most favorite. Sometimes, you asked Lisa to rub aloe vera's gel to your hair. At that time, you looked fresh and happy.

You were not a perfect mother. Although you were not, I love you, forever. No matter what. Because I am also not perfect. But, in your life, you never said anything bad about me. I never heard it.

When I grew up, I wanted to be free. I wanted to stand on my own. But you had protected me from doing that. "You are not ready. Besides, we have no money to afford your living. Stay with your sisters."

Although I didn't like your decision, I had no choice. I had to obey you.

Sometimes, before you died, I felt dissappointed with my obedience to you, but after you died, I realized that you didn't want me to become like my older brothers.

And what I have achieved until now, they can't be separated from what you had done.

I thank you that you had raised me.

I thank you that you had been patient with me, against my naughtiness.

I thank you that you took care of me in the middle of storm in our family, during the bankruptcy of Dad's business; managed the family financial, so that there was enough food every day for all family members.

I thank you that you didn't ask much to your children. You thought that your children were healthy, that was enough for you and made you happy.

I thank you, you had taught me to love the beauty of reading habit, how books could change my life. Without ordering to read books, you had set an example, you read books, newspapers, and magazines everyday.

I miss you so much, Mom.

You are my hero.

Forever and ever after.

Someday, we'll meet again.

I promise, I won't let you down again.

Thank you for loving me with your endless love.

Love from your son.

Anton