Is Happiness A Camouflage?

Written by: Giasinta

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life."  -John Lennon

I was in my room playing with dolls while waiting for mother to call me out. I saw a house with balloons decoration and chocolate cakes were everywhere. I remembered there were so many colors that day. It was a beautiful birthday party my mother threw at home. I was six years old, I suppose. The memory stuck in my hippocampus brain like a song you cannot resist to sing. Now I'm sitting on my front porch in a new home, with my new family, with my much-older age. Balloons and chocolate cakes are no longer source of my happiness.

By getting older we tend to leave behind what we call happiness. We focus on tangible things instead, the difficult things. Goals, visions, plans. They told us that life is a hard work, so I guess we have to swim through to survive. Until one day I woke up in the morning and start to realize that life is also a running sprint. Every single day we are racing with time and barely win competing. Another year passes, another age erases. That moment I knew that HAPPINESS should be on the first list of every new year resolution. By getting older we start to question what we have done to our life? When that happiness of chocolate cakes and balloons went away?

Making a little research around, I learn about how people define happiness. Most of these people I asked are in average age from 16 to 50 years old. Some of them were facing shortcomings in life like minor health issues, personal or work problems. And the others were believed not to have major problems to worry about. When I ask around I learn that for most people, happiness is similar as life satisfaction. Something they trust to gain value when finally achieve. 

Something very important that can create the feeling of joy. Like having a house, traveling, getting married, self-love, being healthy, or financially covered. Some people dream of healthy relationship and yet, choose to stay in abusive one. Some dream to get a job and yet, surrender in the territory of comfort zone. Some dream of being healthy and yet, refuse every chance to exercise. It is unfortunate when some people are actually possessing the capability to self-growth but too comfort to make a baby step. Surprisingly, most of these people still claimed themselves quite happy. It got me thinking, is happiness a camouflage?

It is so sad that many people let themselves defeated by their own mental barriers. They forget that life is a running sprint, once you were a six year old kid and now you are an adult questioning the purpose of life. Once you were teenager partying hard and now you are a parent taking care of your kids. People ignorance of time concept is a dangerous life miscalculation. Don't ever take your time frame for granted. No one wants to wake up old in the face of remorse and say to themselves, "I wish I had let myself be happier".

"It's easy to say, Gia. You're not in my shoes." By playing the victim card, some people believe they are too drown to swim to the surface. As a matter of fact, in Maslow's hierarchy of needs these people I asked have successfully covered their basic and psychological needs. Therefore, playing victim is not exactly the right card to play. Now this time let us take a look to another group that also struggle with problems such as health issue or basic need, and amazingly possess the capability to stay in positivity. Based on research and health journals, group of people with advanced cancer disease considered themselves "Happy" and "Very Happy" although struggling with the most feared disease in today's society. The journal says that health literacy and religious beliefs can play a key role in their happiness. I also learned in another research about homeless people. 

Most of them also claimed that they were happy. Better general health were associated with a higher overall happiness, while feelings of loneliness were associated with a lower overall happiness. The journal says that the happiness of these homeless people showed a significant effect on future expectations. Studies have shown that positive thinking leads to personal growth or happiness. It can be proven from the first group of people who have less problems in life considered themselves happy and quite happy, or how cancer patients with religious beliefs claimed themselves very happy, and homeless people with positivity are more likely to have future expectation.

Based on World Happiness Index 2017, Indonesia ranks number 81 from 155 countries. The measurement variables include GDP per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom to make life choices, generosity and trust. When it comes to personal happiness, what are your measurement variables? What is happiness to you? Can you consider yourself happy? Aristotle define happiness as health, wealth and love. When we were kids we are not obligated to think of the hard stuff. Not yet expected to use our brain to think wisely or our conscience to play justice. We weren't expected to embrace this kind of capacity in our brain. By getting older we realized that human being is a learning machine. We adapt to changes, embrace new phase of life.

Happiness is when I can enjoy things without burden. Simple quality time with my family without thoughts wonder around with problems. Eating good-delicious food without guilt. Going for a vacation without worrying. Doing things without my conscience judging my action. These are happiness to me. But we all know that nothing comes for free. Remember the phrase 'what comes easy won't last, what lasts won't come easy'? As I said before, human being is a learning machine. It is the law of nature that in order to achieve a higher level, we need to try harder.