I used to pray ( a beggar to his master ; but why we ask it to God ? ). with my personal tricks of implicite-spiritual prayer, God if you are still there do not take my belovedi’s life, I still need her endless helping hands in this becoming-to-order chaos in life….
what hapenned to her?
there is no even a kilobite God who then makes his ‘divine intervention’ to cure my mother’s disease.
so my existential conclusion is some divine intervention really happen in the holy books but in this more-precious- than-holy book- life I have not yet find what is called by the abrahamic faiths the self-claimed divine intervention of non-realistic-to-daily-life evidences.
what a stupid humanity!
this is java my lands
why the hell …I think like some european freethinkers than to become a typically-submissive-to-life javanese?
or maybe
my precious existence ( reincarnation ) i used to be an european, maybe from Italy coz the name is turning to become Indonesia.
che bello. penso di si
si puo anche. ma a cosa seve quata anticchissima idea della reincarnazione per la nostra humanita?
you know I am tired in this life struggling by mysellf
I wanna to stay on the beach someday in italy…
It is not possible.
my salary as a 16 years old as a local guide in prambanan is just enough only for my daily food and my children’s education!
but I have a perseverant dreaam to go europe?
you still dream of obssesional pursue in this already-dead life!
sometimes I feel I have conquered my life
sometimes I feel life has conquered me
with my limited financial freedom.
my karmic soul can’t accept this financial defeat.
life is just an action-AND-reaction mechanistic multicomplexity of no beginning and no omega end.
if there is an end
it is just a speculation.
a metaphysical speculation of man’s mental projection.
oks
thanks for reading
a contemplative night here in java central, klaten
by edigyol@gmail.com
