The Painful Memory, Retained
The phone's ringtone woke me up from a dream of living in a secluded place in one of the most the beautiful mountains I've ever seen in my sleep. With the sunlight sneaking into my room through the silk curtains that I bought two years ago from a furniture store in Chadstone, I blinked my eyes while feeling on the bed to get my cell phone which kept ringing and disturbing my sleep on this beautiful 3rd weekend in 2022. I faintly saw the phone screen. It was the 4th ring from my dad this morning. "Oh, here we go again." I sighed. Inspite of immediately picked up the phone, I paused for a moment and took a deep breath, imagined this time he would ask the same thing about my resignation process from the job I had worked for eight years in one of the top companies in Melbourne's Central Business District. I have enough money thanks to my lucrative work to invest in shares of multiple profitable businesses. A great profession is only a stepping stone toward realizing my dream, which is to travel the world and stop in spots that are peaceful owing to their natural beauty and complete absence of city population bustle.
"Halo, Merry, did you just wake up?" He asked as if he was confused why I just woke up this late. "I know you live alone and there is not even a work that you have to think about for now. But please don't start a bad habit." Just like I woke up thus late so many times in his head, my dad murmurs.
"You know I only do it when I have time to do it. Don't make it over pi," I said as I walked into the kitchen to get a drink and sat down at the dining table. I called my dad with 'papi', a word adopted by Indonesians from Dutch to greet parents. I am a child of Chinese descent who was born in Indonesia. I used to live in Indonesia before finally moving to Australia due to an incident in 1998 that happened in Indonesia. "What else now?" I asked.
"How's your resignation process? Is it all running well?" he asked the predictable question. This is his fifth time asked me about the resignation process. It feels like resigning is the same as getting tons of gold that he couldn't wait to see the result.
"Sure, all that's left is that I just need to sign some documents and then I can clear out my stuff from the office." I said. It's actually hard for me to give up this job. As the director who oversees the company's operations, of course I have a lot of papers to sign as a form of handover and other things.
"I know everything's going well. I mean I believe my only beloved daughter does all things well," his tone in saying this sounded like he was beaming. I could tell that he was talking with a big smile on his face, proud of what his successful daughter doing. He continue, "Mei, later after everything is done, can you visit your aunt? she hasn't called much lately, we're worried about her." Asked my dad sounds worried. 'Mei' comes from Lin Mei-Yi, my Chinese name. I got the Merry name as my Indonesian name. Merry sounds more universal, and following the universal flow is part of self-rescue for my family, that's why now Merry's name is more attached to me. Even so, my father did not forget his daughter's first name which is thick with the influence of Chinese culture that flows in our blood.
"Allright, I'll visit her later, don't worry." I said and then we hang up.
My aunt. oh my god, I just remembered my aunt. It's been six months since my last visit to my aunt's apartment in Adelaide. My entire family that were living in Indonesia including my dad, mom and aunt moved to Australia to protect ourselves in 1998. With the capital of trust, our family business was entrusted to my father's direct subordinates who did not choose to go abroad at that time. My father controlled his business by telephone and sometimes and sometimes he flies to Indonesia for several times. Five years later, when my father felt that everything was safe, my dad and my mom returned to Indonesia to continue our business which had been abandoned for too long, but not with me and my aunt. My dad believes that for both of us staying in Australia is the most appropriate and the most safe choice after everything that happen to my aunt in 1998 in Indonesia. My mother is an anxious lady who genuinely cares for her husband as a wife. She refused my father's advice to stay in Australia and went back with him to Indonesia instead.
I flew to Adelaide to see my aunt as soon as I finished my resignation. When I landed to my aunt's apartment in the southern region of Australia, I was greeted by a stunning view of the beach. This time, the beautiful sky appeared to support our meeting. Back when she was young in Indonesia, before the incident, my aunt was an incredibly pleasant person and liked to socially interact. Oh, I gotta mention that I was absolutely love her. My last moment seen her laughing joyfully is before our moved to Melbourne twenty-four years ago. She is now laughing as well, although not as joyfully as before. "I hope she's more cheerful now" I said while looking around the view.
My aunt met me in the entrance of the apartment building, and then we went to her unit which was on the 8th floor. The room in the apartment was still the same as the last six months ago when I visited. Not much has changed. It's just that there is something that makes me a little gape at it, Chinese New Year decoration. My aunt put up a water tiger Sincia decoration in the window of the apartment that looked like it rarely opened and closed. This really took me by surprise. It's been twenty-four years since my aunt has been traumatized by her identity as a Chinese descendant. Not only my aunt, but my whole family, I mean the one who received the most trauma was my aunt. This was the first time I saw my aunt re-accept her Chinese identity in twenty-four years.
