Dear all
Ini adalah tulisan isteri saya. Kalo boleh tolong dibaca dan kami berdua minta pendapat kalian tentang issue yang dia angkat. Pantaskah kami marah? Atau cukup didiamkan saja? Terima kasih sebelumnya ya...
___________________
My friend named her dog 'LEON'
Just few days before we ended 2017, my son, Leon came to me with some weird news, "Bunda, I just found out, my friend named her dog with my name".
I asked Leon, "Do I know her?"
I was a bit shock when he mentioned a girl name, because they have known each other for a long time, they were in the same class for 6 years in elementary. And her mom and I have been friends for a long time too.
I asked my son, "How do you feel about it, Leon?"
It looks clear for me, Leon thinks carefully about it, his face looks so calm, I didn't see any anger or distress shown on his face.
And then he quietly answered my question, "I actually, don't care about it, but I won't do that to my friend, because I know something like that... hurts. Beside of that, if somehow, we have a dog, and I have an idea to name it, for example: Memey, I know for sure you won't let me do that".
Leon stopped for a little while, before he finally continued softly, "I remember one day, when you were recruiting a maid to help Bibi Imah to do the house work, the agent sent a young girl name Linda, once you heard her name, you didn't even bother to test her work, you just sent her back to the agent.
"Oh really? I don't remember that."
"And when I asked you why, your answer was so thoughtful, you don't want your friend feel awkward when she's coming to our house and find out that our maid has the same name as her."
I hugged him and said, "I'm very proud of you, it proves you are a better person than your friend."
After a while, Leon asked me back, "What about you, Bunda? How do you feel about it? Because her mom is also your friend, you guys, have known each other for a long time too. What do you think about this situation?"
My son has showed me how calm he handled his situation, while I'm so emotional at that moment. But I don't want to look like I've over reacted.
"Honestly, I'm offended, upset. I think to give a dog a name similar to the name of your friend's kid is inappropriate.... In other word, I wanna say... rude!" I held my breath for a few second, tried to control what I'm going to say to my son.
Leon still say nothing.
"There are two things in this situation, one is the right, of course everyone has the right to name their pets with any name they want. However, on the other side, there's a thing we call: ethics! With hundreds of millions of names in this world, why did she pick my son's name for her dog. Only an unethical person will do that to their friend."
Leon look at me sharply and said, "I agree with you! As I said before, I won't do that to my friend. So....what are you gonna do now?"
"Probably nothing... for now..." my answer sound not so sure for myself. "As I always say, never make any reaction when you are upset. So, I will just leave it for a while, put it on the back of my head, won't think about it for few days. And, let's see what will come up after that."
Leon said, "if you ask me the same question, my answer is.... I won't think about it at all. And I'm going to sleep well tonight. Leon bobo dulu ya, Bunda."
It's a sign, I have to end this conversation.
I talk to myself, "can he really do that? Won't think about it at all?... I don't know."
What about me? Can I really leave it for a while? Not think about it for few days?
The answer is NO.
That weird situation has been annoying me, buzzing around in my head like thousands of swarm bees flying around the hive. A question to myself, am I over reacting about it?
The next day, I tried to make a simple survey among my office mates. I broadcast 2 questions through WA to 10 people in my office, which are 2 Australians, 2 Americans, 1 Canadian, & 5 Indonesians. The questions are : When you found out your friend gives her/his dog with your kid's name, 1. What do you think about it, 2. What's your reaction?
And the answers I got, 1 'inappropriate', 1 'that's an insult', 2 'rude', all Indonesians said: 'keterlaluan!' The Canadian said, 'she/he is not my friend'. And all of their reactions reflects about disappointment, anger, upset.
To complete the variety of the respondents in my survey, I include my maids at home as my respondents, both of them answered spontaneously, jahat banget!
And the latest respondent is my youngest boy, Reo, he is 10 years old this year, everyone calls him Adoy. So, I called Adoy to sit down with me in my working room at home.
"Doy, I wanna ask you something, I know you always wanna have a dog, if somehow, you can have a dog, what will you name it?" I asked him.
Adoy look at me with a big smile on his face, "I will call it Pluto, or Neptune, or Uranus, it has to be the name of planets."
My laugh break when I heard his answer, and I continued my question, "What if I have an idea to name it with Jessica, or Vanessa or Memey, what do you think about it?"
And my Adoy answered it spontaneously, "NO WAY!! NOOO!! You can't do that, Bunda... please."
"Ok ..ok.." I said to calm him down. "I won't do that, I asked this question because I wanna know your opinion about it. But, please explain to me why you don't want those names for your dog?"
And his answer has concluded how I think about this situation, Adoy said, "because that's not right, Jess, Vanessa and Memey are my friends, I know them very well, I don't wanna hurt them. And, I also won't use human's name as my dog's name."
I hugged my little one that's not so little anymore now, tightly and kissed all over his face, "thank you Doy, thank you. I'm so proud of you! I love you!" kissed him again and again.
Adoy tried to get away from my arms, and said gasply, "Enough, Bunda! I can't breathe!" And he ran away as I released him from my hug. As he stepped out from my working room, he turned round and asked, "So, am I gonna have a dog?"
"No." I answered quickly, "Thanks again, Doy. No more questions."
"Ok, no problem," he walked away from my sight, left me with a big smile on my face.
I'm a proud mom, I'm so lucky to have Leon & Reo in my life, they both know how to treat others, and how to respect others. Hopefully they will grow up with all those good attitudes for their entire life.
So, back to the weird situation about the dog's name, after receiving responses from my simple survey, it's clear enough for me now, to give a dog's name with the similar name of the person you know is not acceptable, unless you named the dog before you know that person.
After sholat maghrib in the evening, I told Leon about my simple survey and also about Reo's reaction when I asked him about it.
Leon smiled at me and said, "You are taking it too personal, let it go, Bunda.... Forget it. The most important thing for me is, what they did to me by naming their dog with the similar name with mine, not something we will do to our friends, or other people we know."
"And... what are you gonna do to your friend?" I asked him curiously.
"Nothing.... I just hope one day she will realize, what she did was not right, but if not... I just hope, she won't do that to her other friends." Leon answered calmly.
Hmmm... He's so mature.... What about me?
"What about you, Bunda? What will you do to your friend?" Leon asked me back.
"Nothing....but .... I will not consider her as my friend anymore, I deleted & blocked her from all of my contact list," I said that firmly, and continued after thinking a few second, "As we discussed it before, only an unethical person who would do this to his/her friend, and for me, to complain about it to an unethical person is useless. So... to save my energy in arguing with that kind of person, I'd rather wipe her from my life."
After a few seconds of silence, I close my sentences with a statement, "I will use your Dad statement for this, 'Dari pada kita bermusuhan, lebih baik kita tidak berteman'."
"WOW!" Leon look at me with a big smile, "seems like it's a big deal for you."
"Yes, it is," I said it explicitly to Leon "And it is important for me, you know my reaction about it,"
"I know, you did it for me, and I thank you for that, Bunda" Leon said, "but please promise me.... you will put it out of your mind, ok?"
"Iya... I promise," I said it but I'm not sure about it, but I will keep trying.
So.... What about you, Guys? What do you think when your friend named his/her dog with your kid's name? Please share, what's your reaction about it.
