Moms! Have you ever fought with your partner? Or even thought about splitting up with your partner? Perhaps, this article can help you contemplate your options before you actually decide.
These days, divorce is a common phenomenon in society. Divorce is often the choice taken by married couples when they feel they can no longer find reasons to maintain their relationship. However, parents often forget and care less about the impact of divorce on their children. It is not uncommon to find parents who care less about their children after divorce.
This article will discuss how divorce can negatively affect children and how children express this to their environment.
Divorce is a painful decision for both parents and children. Divorce not only has a negative effect on the parents' relationship. Children can also feel the impact of the divorce. Problems arise when parents have little time with their children. Parents who previously did not work inevitably have to look for work to support themselves and their children. Likewise, parents who are already working, they become more focused on their work so that they pay less attention to their children at home. This can trigger negative behaviors in children who are victims of divorce.
Here are some behaviors of children who are victims of divorce:
1) Aggressive Behavior
Divorce has the possibility to affect children's aggressiveness. Research conducted by Gusniar and Prima Aulia (2020) shows that there are behavioral problems in children whose parents are divorced. Children whose parents are divorced tend to have aggressive behavior and lazy learning. This problem is caused by the lack of attention and guidance provided by parents after divorce. In addition, aggressive behavior is shown by children as a form of expression of their frustration with their parents' divorce.
2) Focus Problem.
Children whose parents are divorced may have difficulty concentrating. Children who experience parental divorce often feel sad, stressed, and anxious in their daily lives. In addition, according to Crow and Ward-Lonergan (in Al Gharaibeh, 2015), children who experience parental divorce often feel feelings of shame, decreased self-esteem, self-blame, anxiety, and fear of abandonment. These feelings can trigger children's inability or difficulty in concentrating. In this case, children will have difficulty focusing on their tasks and school. Children whose parents are divorced often experience a decline in academic performance. Therefore, they are also likely to have concerns about their future after divorce.
3) Withdrawal.
Withdrawn behavior is common in children whose parents are divorced. Some children who are victims of divorce usually use withdrawal behavior as a way to avoid the pain and anxiety they feel due to their parents' divorce. They will refuse when invited to play with their peers and not answer when others invite them to talk. Aristawaty (2023) explains that this phenomenon is caused by children feeling alone and unable to socialize or relate to others. In addition, sudden environmental changes can also cause children to withdraw from their environment. Children will feel strange and alone when facing a new environment for them. Therefore, parents play a very important role in helping children adapt to their new environment.
4) Emotional Instability.
Children whose parents divorce have a psychological impact, namely becoming more emotionally sensitive. Such as irritable child behavior, often suddenly whining and making noise, unable to be independent, and easily embarrassed (Aristawati, 2023). This can be caused by the child's daily life suddenly changing significantly. If the child's life before the divorce lived with both parents, they will feel confused when required to choose to live with one of their parents. This feeling of confusion is the initial trigger for emotional instability in children.
Divorce is often the last step for couples who have broken their households to live their own lives. However, we must think about how it affects children. Do not let us as parents forget the presence of children among family conflicts. Even though they are not involved in the conflict, they will still feel the impact. Seeing some of these impacts makes it even harder for us to decide to divorce. Therefore, we as parents must think deeply about how we will behave towards children after divorce, so that we can minimize the impact on our children.
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