[English] Just Take a Breath

Fyuh well this is not gonna be good for me, think for a week will going to be crazy like whatever they say. I don't really care about what they said about me and maybe that's not important again but I feel don't have live with all of my activity that's so sucks when you try your best but you can't stop to awake from your sleep, when you thinking you wanna be a superhero but you know if you can't alone doing this without a friends will support you for every step you decide.

You know what? This game makes me a different person, feel sit down at roller coaster and hope that's gonna be fun but in fact, I really scare to going down and up at the same time. Well, that's life when you down you must fast to wake up again because you know that's not instant for everyone and maybe just one from hundred can doing that's at one time. Thinking about doing this with one man show? I mean you don't really care to everyone and take this alone? I just wanna say don't do that. If you ask me why?

I will tell you something " I ever doing like that and fyuh well I really desperate when doing that's so sucks for me." I hope you can do better to solved you sleepy insomniac hahaha not Agung Hapsah fans but I mean if you can sleep, just sleep and enjoy your dream because I can't sleep and I can't enjoy my dream. If you can't sleep like me? Don't use a pill to make you sleep and help you because that's is just a couple time help you and not longer you insomniac again. Trust me because that's not didn't going work for me, I have a bad life and I have bad a time for a sleep I hope I can but actually not happen anything.

Just a take a breath, that's my routinity to make me feel better in the morning when my head is so dizzy to think what happens at the last night. Fuuh I can remember like so fast and I forget everything. No, I do not consume psychotropic for making me feel dizzy and forget anything will help me sleep not don't trust that because what happens is I always write something at night, sometimes my anxiety should immediately write and that makes me feel better.

In the morning I must be like other people, live and have a soul, have a religion ( yeah sure I have that's ) because God always helps me to sleep. And that's working for me, I praying when I want to sleep... "hope everything gonna be better and I have a life again ( just in the morning ) when I must meet an everyone like my friend or my teacher at the school.

My best friends know if I have this "can't sleep and make me crazy" and they said just take a pill, but I say to my best friend if I ever try and not working. They just help me in a one night or one day not longer my sickness back again and make my tired.

My parent doesn't know this because I didn't tell him about this, just me, God and my fucking life also my best friend know if I'm a bat hahaha my insomnia is like the disease which is difficult to back on naturality, when I can sleep like everyone and make my ordinary person again. Not like this just take a breath and fyuh just like that's my story at five years ago and still like that until now.

I lost everything like someone who loved me, walking so far away and left me alone after my birthday because I hurt his heart because of the effect of my sucks life. :) a fake smile makes me like this and in a five years I doing this alone every step I decide alone and not going to be good just a bad time and I fell back in the same hole for a couple time and accidentally dropped there, when depression really take my life and going to make my crazy again.. Again and again..

*Maaf untuk kosa kata atau grammar yang kacau karena nulisnya juga gak merhatiin itu semua apa yang ada di pikiran gue ya gue tulis sesuatu kegelisahan yang terlalu panjang untuk di jelaskan