Letters That Shouldn't Be Written

No useful purpose is ever served by writing needlessly of misfortune or unhappiness, even to members of your family. Our distress at hearing about illness or unhappiness among those we love is intensified by the number of miles that seperate us from them. The chronic calamity writers seem to wait until the skies are darkest and then, rushing to their desks, luxuriate in pouring out all their troubles to their friends.

Every day the mails carry letters of another kind whose fallout would be spectacular if they fell into the wrong hands. Silly girls and foolish men, for example, often write things that sound quite different from their original intent.

Remember this above all: Never write a letter to anyone that you would be embrassed to see in a newspaper above your signature. Thousand upon thousand of people, inspired by every known emotion, have poured words on paper, and few of the many made public have had charm or beauty.

If you are determined to write an emotional letter to someone, put it away overnight in order to reread it and make sure that you have said nothing that may sound different from what you intended. The point to remember is that written words have permanency, and thoughts carelessly put on paper can come back to haunt you.

The light, jesting tone that saves a quip from being offensive cannot be expressed in writing, and remarks that are amusing when spoken can become sharp and insulting when written. Moreover, words expressing a fleeting mood can take on a frightening permanence when written down.

Anger in a letter carries with it the effect of solidified fury. Bitter spoken words fade away once the cause is forgiven; written words are fixed on the page forever. Admonitions from parents to their children may very properly be put on paper--provided they are meant to ednure and to be remembered--but momentary annoyance should be expressed briefly.

One point cannot be overstressed: Letters written under strong emotion should be held for twenty-four hours and reread before being sent--or probably torn into small pieces and not sent at all.