As in the previous article, I wrote that planning and thinking are the tools by which I can enjoy so much in this life. If it weren't because of the two, I couldn't survive until today. I accept that Allah swt gives me the two qualities that can either help or destroy me.
And I believe some of you understand your strengths and weaknesses. We shouldn't deny our strengths because they can lead us to destruction. All we have to do is knowing them then coming to Him for keeping the qualities in balance. In turn, use the strengths for spreading His words.
Taming Your Arrogance
It took years for me to eventually realize that I was arrogant. There were times when I believed that all goodness in my life was because of my own efforts. Allah knew that very well then He took one of them bit by bit. Again, I learnt His priceless lesson in the hardest way.
He needed to clean up my heart until I realized He gave me invaluable and uncountable blesses in my life. The difficult thing on understanding our arrogance is that sometimes arrogance creeps silently. We may not realize this because we don't always underestimate others. We don't yell at people or curse them because they are stupid or poor. But we must take notice of our mind and heart, too.
Unless you tame your arrogance, your heart won't be opened to His words. It will still be very hard for you to practice gratitude. You will always seek satisfaction from other human beings, status or materials. Pay attention to your heart. Act immediately when it can't feel.
Connecting Your Ruh to Allah
Our job as a human being is understanding our physical appearance, emotional unique quality and finally our ruh. To get to know our ruh, we must constantly communicate with Allah. Ustadz Nouman said that Alqur'an is the rope that connects our ruh to Him.
That makes studying and even reliving the Book plays such a pivotal role. Our ruh always requires words and advice from Allah that is well-captured in Alqur'an. When truly reliving the Book, it's easier for us to filter and choose. Blurry lines gradually disappear. We become like the Qur'an as al furqon that is able to differentiate good and bad things then stand strict to it.
It's not always easy to find the ruh inside ourselves. As my journey proves, I must conduct multiple layers to slowly grasp the ruh inside myself. Firstly, I must stand with justice, question many things that widely believed by society. I must thank Allah sincerely, ask for His forgiveness, admit all the mistakes and submit myself humbly.
Only then, I can start enjoying Qur'an and reliving His words. To this point, I still struggle to do all of these. Sometimes, I have to force myself to thank Him. My heart sometimes feels empty and hard. But at least I know when those things occur, satan plays big roles. It polishes my ego and I must seek rescue from Allah.
