Assalamualaikum Wr.Wb
Yogyakarta, The End of January, 2015
Dear My Late Grandmother...
Grandma, I miss you.This morning, I just woke up and thought of you.A woman I always adore in my life.In my life.Sorry for being a granddaughter who was playing around at your home at that time.Ignore you sometimes.Just walked away.Ran away.And I was that quite calm, grandma.Yes, I am!It was you sitting there.You asked my younger brother and me like “How is your grade?”, “What are you doing after school?” or “Who picks you up?”.Sometimes, If i’m not mistaken, you asked me, “What kind of food you like?”. I’m true omnivore,grandma, as long as it’s not soo chilly!
A Grandmother of my mom’s family. Mother of my mom :)
Dear grandma, I love sitting there, sebuah kursi goyang yang terbuat dari kayu.Rasanya seperti bisa bermain main dengan kursi yang berbunyi “Ngik...ngik...ngik...”. Hehhhe.It was so fun for me to sit there and play that chair,grandmaJ.Today, everything is just so miserable. All problems ruin.Hah.Sepertinya, wanita itu seperti penyeimbang,ya,Grandma?Jika tidak ada, ia akan membuat goyah mereka yang ditinggalkan.It looks like happening right now,grandma! They fight for things I don understand.About material things bla bla bla...
Our grandpa really can’t live without you,grandma.In the past, I sometimes asked him,”How are you,grandpa?”, “Eat properly grandpa.Don’t forget to eat,” or “Don’t do so many activities right now.You’re that old grandpa.Take care of your health!”. I was a granddaughter who likes reminding him about a lot of things, grandma. You should see him now. I don’t understand again about ‘another person’ who lives at your home. A home I always miss. A home I can smell flowers and our memory. I miss you, grandma...
He miss you, grandma. He told me several times that he always miss you. Your face and attitude.Your kindness.Your patience.Your loyality. In the past, I didn’t understand why you used to talking with Javanese to me. Javanese is quite complicated actually, grandma. Ada banyak sekali tingkatan seperti ngoko, ngoko alus, krama dan krama Inggil. Mungkin itulah kenapa bahasa Jawa cukup indah dan membingungkan. To appreciate older generation. I saw one woman who looks like you. She saw ‘Wayang show’ on TV. (Thanks to TVRI who still has that show).Looks like you,grandma. You loved seeing it. You accompanied your man to watch it together. It’s probably the simplest thing woman can do for her man, doing something together. Hmm, mendampingi grandpa!
You’re the symbol of true woman. Now, I admire all things you do for us. I saw the way you accompanied your man seeing TV. Cooking for all grandchildren there. Always welcome us. And you’re that patient and calm. Our grandpa is that stubborn or hard one sometimes, sangat tegas dan ‘berkuasa’. Entah mengapa, kamu sangat sabar menghadapinya. Sangat penyayang. Di mata kami semua, kamu adalah sosok penyayang. Sosok yang saaangat baik. Aku dibolehkan mengutak atik timbangan beras di sana,hehhhe.Karena itu sangat lucu, grandma, entah kenapa. Home sweet home. Just a simple home with love and affection. I’m still that calm, grandma. Sometimes, aku dan adikku sama kalem nya denganmu. Memiliki sisi pendiam yang mirip denganmu. Now I know that sometimes we have to use Javanese as informal language with society, especially for those who live in Java. You are so calm, grandma. Sangat lemah lembut sampai sampai aku sulit mendengarkan suaramu. Pelaaaan sekali! My mom’d like to say sorry for not making your wishes come true. To have curly hair. Kenapa sangat ingin punya rambut keriting,grandma?
Siapapun yang menghuni rumah itu sekarang, nobody replaces you as my grandma.
Thanks for being a good wife, mother and adorable grandma for us!Semua hal hal gaib itu, grandma, I can feel it sometimes.Do you take care of one of my nieces, grandma?Take care of her. Don’t disturb her. By the way, I’m quite proud of myself as Javanese woman, grandma. Memiliki rasa ‘pakewuh’. Keengganan untuk menyinggung orang lain. Selalu terganggu dengan sindiran dan omongan-omongan yang tak benar. Menjaga keseimbangan sosial. Dan merasa tersinggung. Serta selalu berhati-hati dalam berkata-kata. Hemat bicara banyak bertindak! Seperti itu kah ‘Javanese value’ yang kau tanamkan pada kami, grandma? It works, anyway...
Grandma, kamu adalah wanita yang sangat baik. Tidak ingin membuat orang lain khawatir dan kesusahan till the last time of your life.You saved your money till hospital. Dear Grandma, I miss you. Once I protested my mom like this, “Why don’t you let me miss somebody who’d left us(I talk about my younger brother)? Eventhough you saw couple who still live in this wicked earth miss each other?” Semua orang memiliki ‘masa singgahnya’ sendiri di dunia, grandma. Suatu saat nanti, kita semua memang akan kembali. Namun sebelum kembali, I wanna do all things I wanna do for my life. I wanna sacrifice my life for creating happiness for others, for all people I love. Just wanna accomplish all things I want. May I do it,grandma? Untuk menciptakan dan menyebarkan kebaikan, cinta kasih dan rasa persaudaraan di dunia ini. Bukan menciptakan kebencian dan kedengkian di dunia yang jahat ini. Hanya ingin menciptakan keadaan lebih baik, entah dari sisi manapun.
See you soon, grandma! Aku rindu.Sangat merindukanmu
