Single Mother: Raising Children Without Father Roles

The number of single mothers has increased from year to year. One of the main reasons why it's increasing is because of the Covid-19 pandemic. Another reason why a woman must be the head of the family is because of divorce, when the husband is not the primary breadwinner because he is disabled or has lost his work, the husband goes without providing an income for an extended period, and he is not married but has family duties. There are also women whose husbands are unable to fulfill their role as family head owing to polygamy, unemployment, or illness [1]. 

Based on a survey by the Central Statistics Agency (BPS) in 2020, there are around 11.44 million women who are heads of families in Indonesia. This figure increased about 30% when compared to a similar survey in 2016. Tragically, based on data from women who were advocated by Pekka (Pemberdayaan Perempuan Kepala Keluarga/Empowerment of Women as Heads of Families), the welfare of widows during the Covid-19 pandemic has worsened in 1.400 villages in 20 provinces, i.e. 95% of women that become heads of families who work in the informal sector and almost half of them earn less than IDR 500 thousand a month [2]. This is an obstacle for women as heads of families, which must meet a juggling role to fulfill the psychological needs of children and fulfill the needs of daily life. 

Single Mothers are Commonly Stigmatized and Unrecognized

A woman as the head of the family is more similar to known as "Janda" (meaning: widow) in Indonesia. Referring to KBBI, Janda/Widow is a woman who is no longer married because of divorce or because her husband has died. Being widows in Indonesia are frequently stigmatized and given a negative connotation. This is due to the male gaze's attachment to the representation of women's image in the media. The male gaze is a condition where women in the media are seen from the point of view of men, the "male gaze" invokes the sexual politics of the gaze and suggests a sexualized way of looking that empowers men and objectifies women. In the male gaze, a woman is visually positioned as an "object" of heterosexual male desire. Her feelings, thoughts, and her own sexual drives are less important than her being "framed" by male desire [3]. Male gaze itself can be seen in film, literature, and music that are demeaning women as a widow. In male gaze perspective, a widow is frequently shown as a sexual object, a weak helpless woman, or to become the third person in a relationship.

Ironically, as a result of the negative stigma of the widows, they are frequently not getting recognition as the head of the household in the eyes of Indonesians. According to Mia Siscawati, a lecturer in the Gender Studies Program at the School of Strategic and Global Studies at the University of Indonesia, said that "Women as heads of families are often considered absent or unrecognizable in some contexts. At certain times, for example, during elections or when there is assistance, they are made to benefit other parties. But it's not to acknowledge its existence". This situation was heightened during the Covid-19 pandemic. These women are often ignored and still have to fend for themselves to make ends meet. "The impact is felt for women who are heads of families. Because they have to fend for themselves in a crisis situation," said Director of Yayasan Program Pemberdayaan Perempuan Kepala Keluarga (Pekka), Nani Zulminarni [1].

Single Mothers Poverty Affects Their Children Education

Living as a single mother in Indonesia is exceedingly challenging, especially in the midst of a pandemic. A single mother is faced with numerous issues and must make all of the critical decisions on her own. Komisi Nasional (Komnas) Perempuan Commissioner, Rainy Hutabarat, confirmed that many women as heads of families had their economies slumped due to the Covid-19 pandemic. This is recorded from the Komnas Perempuan survey on household dynamics during the 2020 Covid-19 Pandemic. In the survey, according to Rainy, the majority of female heads of households have a heavier burden because they have to take care of their children at home. while working to meet the daily needs which increased. These additional needs include buying personal protective equipment (PPE), internet quota, and cell phones for children to use when studying online (PJJ). The decline in the welfare of single mothers during the pandemic also affects the fate of their children's education. This was stated by the Director of Yayasan Perempuan Kepala Keluarga (Pekka) Fitria Villa Sahara, "The decline in the welfare of women that become heads of household also has an impact on the education of their children. Many children cannot continue their education because there is no money" [2]. 

Theresia Moleh, a single mother, is one such example. Due to her husband's divorce, Theresia has been a single mother since 2015. Theresia, who was having a job as a tour guide has to change her profession into an online food merchant because of the pandemic situation that has canceled many tourism industries. Theresia, a mother of one daughter, was facing a difficult situation, whereas she had to redeem his daughter's diploma, who graduated from high school in mid-2020. At that time, she had just started a business and her income was still limited. Fortunately, the school was willing to provide a month's waiver. "If I don't pay the money for tuition, my daughter will not receive her diplomas and report cards from school. As soon as I have money, I immediately pay them off, because if my daughter didn't receive her document it would be hard for her to go to work," she said. Theresia had the intention of sending her only daughter to college. However, she has not been able to collect tuition fees for her daughter. While waiting for her mom to collect the money, her daughter is now working to lighten the burden of Theresia's life.

Father's Absence Leads Children to Have Low Self-Esteem

Economically disadvantaged children who do not have fathers present have shown to have lower levels of self-esteem compared to peers who do have fathers present, this would harm the development of children [4]. Self-esteem refers to a person's overall sense of his or her value or worth. It can be considered a sort of measure of how much a person "values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself" (Adler & Stewart, 2004) [5]. A child of a single mother is often seen as a mentally unstable child especially when they see their friends have a complete family they will become moody and insecure about themselves. This will cause children to develop low self-esteem until they become older.