Being Single Is Not A Crime, Is It?

I can't resist saying that nowadays is a wedding season for almost all of the people, who have similar age as me. In my early thirties, this should be a serious issue based on the social construct, that a person, who is already twenty-something, should have had a plan to start a family life. I am not going to say this time is a low-point of mine, but it often tickles me somehow, when I accidentally meet my old-friend (whether face-to-face or by Facebook) and they're never stop asking me if I've already married, otherwise about my D-day.

Once when I attended a reunion-small-event with some friends from my junior high, I felt at the time seems like an anomaly for them while they kept speaking about their family life and everything which related to a wedding day. Voila !! As I've already predicted, the question had simply thrown at me and as usual, I answered them in a diplomatic way (this time I felt how good and brilliant I am). However, I felt a bit uncomfy since that time.

According to wedding day or marriage as its per se, I reckon the social construction is still exist and it seems like a gun, which unpredictably will point at you and it doesn't even care whether you are ready or vice versa. People around us will never stop asking and we might not have any prediction when it will be stopping. In this situation, we need a skill which so-called diplomacy, as I mentioned before. I sometimes think carefully about the best answer if suddenly "the stupid question" comes directly to me. Without any preparation, the answer will not make them unsatisfied and it slowly but sure will create new question and comment, something like "do you have any girlfriend?", or "how old are you, you should take care of yourself", or "As the same age as you, I've already married, so you need to be quickly by finding the bride?". See ?? Absolutely, it is really getting on my nerves !!

Simply saying that, in our community from the past decades until nowadays, life cycle consist of taken-for-granted-questions which will be asking every time (and I guess, for almost a whole of our life) such as "are you studying?", "when will you accomplish your study?", "do you have boy-/girlfriend?", "how old are you?", "what is your job?", "when will you marry", "do you have children?", "how many children do you have?", "how old are they?", "do they go to school?" and so on. Bear in mind, our community's life is into communal field, so that everything which related to a person's life will be in a social gaze. Hard to say, our life is truly under control by the community. If there's any person who lives their life against the mainstream, they will easily get negative stereotypes.

Based on my point of view, it always happens mostly in Indonesian's communities, and I reckon this might be create any different perspective such as pro or contra.

Furthermore, for recent a couple of months ago, I found some stupid reason, action, reaction, or whatever you may call, which related to wedding and marriage from people which I know them very well. They are a pal of mine which their family had known by me as well. One pal is still preparing her wedding day but doesn't want to publish about the D-day since she wants to keep it as a skeleton in the closet. The other one borrowed some bucks to me and simply told or a bit advised me that in family life we need some more bucks to live the daily-needs. By the time, I found this creepy situation and comment completely as an insanity. My question afterwards is "why do they still want to marry if they behave like blaming their own situation?". Weird !!

As a young-mature-single-fighter person, I still have passion to carry on or turn over a new leaf since I found that being single is not a crime and won't let anyone nor my family express concern about me as I think that would be an hyped-up things for themselves. Anyway, I am under the impression that comparing single-person and married-person is just unfair if we still see it in an overjoyed situation as a way of being. So far, we are not able to measure someone's happiness by marital status since as long as I know, love-hate relationship (rather than family life) is also has its own problem. Wise man says, we ought to build our own life on a very best foundation before we easily spread out suggestion or advice to the other person.