Anand was also a humble person. He admitted that he did not know the true meaning of love.
I tried to define the word ‘Love’ and I failed to do so. Love was a mystery to me. The more I tried to understand it the more mysterious it became. And then I realized it was as mysterious as God was, for I could neither define God. (95)
From his past life we can see that he has already familiar with Sufi poetry and teachings of Shah Abdul Latief of Sindh, through his beloved father, Tolaram (3).
I remembered my childhood. I remembered my father singing the Sufi Kallams, devotional songs of Sindhi Mystic Shah Abdul Latief. The Great Soul whom he admired saw no difference between one path and another path, for all paths lead to One and same Goal, one and the same Reality. (16)
In his early childhood, Anand learned to love his indigenous Indonesian friends and those of Indian, Chinese and Arab. He appreciated them all. In 1985 Anand lost his mother, and he could feel part of him dying with her (103).
From his conversation with others we can see that Anand was lack of confident. In contrary, his wife had in abundance. There was an interesting dialogue between he and Rani. He told her that it was a flight of no return. However, Rani said, “No you will be alright. I have full faith in God” (151).
I wonder what faith in God had to do with death. Didn’t I have faith? There are so many people dying every day, don’t they have faith? But I realized that was not the time for discussion. Philosophy would make no sense to her. So I left her with what she termed as her “full faith”. (151)
From his reactions we can see that Anand was an ordinary man that afraid of death.
…it was not an ordinary thunderstorm that finally woke me up... I still remember the afternoon his doctor told me that I was dying of cancer. Actually, he did not mention the word “dying”. He simply said that his diagnosis indicated Acute Leukemia — positive. My mind concluded that I was dying of blood cancer. (1)
From his direct comment we can see that he did not have fighting spirit, he did not try to cure himself. He was easily given up.
However, my immediate reaction to what he said was; “How much time do I have?” And that was spontaneous. In an instant, the mind made its own conclusion and came with such reaction. (1)
From his thought we can see that he is a humanist. Anand learned to love his indigenous Indonesian friends and those of Indian, Chinese and Arab origin without any discrimination (27).
Anand also attached to his business. When Anand’s banker who had supported him in garment investment suggested him to sell his factory. Anand agreed it because he to pay the medical bills. Selling his factory was like selling his dream.
Istill remember the day I had to sign documents handing over “my” new factory. The “ceremony” was held in the conference room of the bank. I had a mask covering half of my face, for my immune system was no longer working. Someone coughing in the room could damage it further, perhaps irreparably. (149)
From his mannerism we can see that Anand felt so desperate in dealing with Leukemia. He looked at the sky above and raised both his hands and cried for help. “But skies were silent. And so was my Angel (150).
Anand said:
I had taken money from another bank against the house I lived in. That money was also invested in the factory, and now gone. I did not have cash in hand to clear the mortgage. I got worried, really worried. (150)
2.2. Anand’s Effort in Dealing with the Crucial Moment in His Life