On Pushing Boundaries Pt. III: In Between Two Poles

Question 3: What are the Do’s & Don’ts?

If you are the one who is experiencing the symptoms, the first thing that you can do is find more information on where to get professional treatment. While treatment can be very expensive and is not always covered on par with other medical treatment in most health insurance plans, there are cheaper options, including many university-associated treatment centers and therapists who charge affordable price. There is still unjustified stigma around mental illnesses, so if you feel uncomfortable sharing this information with anyone, it is okay. You can later discuss what is best for you to do in case you are diagnosed with a disorder with your therapist. Next, try to make appointments with different professionals, if possible. You want to feel comfortable with the person. Think about what traits you’d like to find in your provider. Consider factors such as gender, age, or educational backgrounds. You of course expect to be asked questions about your background and why you seek help, try giving truthful, honest answers, but nothing that would make you feel uncomfortable talking about on your first meeting.

Avoid several things such as self-diagnose, many online quizzes now offer this service, try to remember that knowing what to call your condition is not the goal, the goal is how you can make yourself better. Taking just any random depression medication is a very bad idea. First, if you think that you are depressed but it is not a professional diagnosis, the risk of making your condition worse because of the wrong medication is too high of a risk. Second, how can you be sure if what you’re experiencing is depression?

Now, if you know someone who is experiencing these symptoms or is diagnosed with a mental illness, there are many things that you can (and cannot) do. Do learn more about the disorder if the person is someone that you care deeply, do understand why they cancel plans sometimes at the last minute, do keep inviting them to social activities, do offer lots of hugs, encouragement even when they seem to withdraw. DON’T tell them you know exactly how they feel, don’t tell them that it will soon blow over and everything will be just fine, don’t tell them about you cousin or aunt or a friend of a friend who is doing well in spite of this disorder, we are not all the same and everyone is doing their best, and of course, don’t give up on them.

I still need a constant reminder that I need to be patient with my progress, I need be kinder to myself, I should not stop trying to get better even when the most obvious choice is to just give the fuck up. What I won’t let happen is for my condition to be the sole definition of who I am, for it to become an excuse for anything that I can and cannot do, for it to “win”.

Maria Dolorosa Farah Diena is an undergraduate student at Sekolah Tinggi Filsafat Driyarkara, a teacher, a translator, an interpreter, and a person who simply tries to find another reason to wake up in the morning because she is an a very serious relationship with her bed.