"If---" is a poem that ranks among Rudyard Kipling's most beloved works. He originally wrote the poem in 1896, in response to a failed British military operation that had occurred in South Africa the previous year. However, he first published it as a part of his 1910 book, Rewards and Fairies, which is a work of historical fantasy that features a series of related short stories interspersed with poems. Kipling wrote the poem as a single sentence and structured it as a conditional statement consisting of many parallel "if" clauses followed by a single "then" clause. The poem's speaker is a father who addresses his son, dispensing paternal advice about what it means to be a man. The speaker is therefore keen to communicate his ideal vision of masculinity. The key masculine virtues outlined by the speaker include levelheadedness, self-assurance, humility, and perseverance. The speaker's son will need to cultivate these virtues in order to "be a Man" (line 32). Such virtues reflect a quintessentially British brand of stoicism, which emphasizes facing adversity with unwavering reserve. In this sense, the form of masculinity advocated by the speaker relates to the British idiom of "keeping a stiff upper lip."
The Need for a "stiff upper lip"
Critics have often cited "If---" as a shining example of British stoicism, which is characterized by its emphasis on remaining emotionally reserved in the face of adversity. This emphasis on the ability to endure pain or hardship without complaint is captured in the British idiom of "keeping a stiff upper lip." Whereas a lip that trembles would reveal vulnerability, the "stiff upper lip" maintains a stoic presentation of absolute reserve and emotional stability. The speaker of "If---" spends much of the poem describing hypothetical situations that would test a person's ability to remain stoic. For one key example, consider the first four lines of the third stanza (lines 17--20):
   If you can make one heap of all your winnings
     And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
   And lose, and start again at your beginnings
     And never breathe a word about your loss.
The first three lines describe a situation where a gambler bets everything and loses all. Surely, such a total loss would threaten to provoke a strong emotional reaction. However, the speaker uses this scenario to set up the appropriate response. The proper, stoic response would be to dismiss all feelings of disappointment or anger, start over, and "never breathe a word about your loss." Many of the hypothetical scenarios described by the speaker evoke similar tests of emotional stability, implying the stiff upper lip as an essential character trait.
Analysis of the Speaker
The only concrete detail we know about the speaker of "If---" is that he's a father who is dispensing paternal advice to his son. (Actually, if we want to get technical, we don't know for sure that the speaker is male, meaning that the speaker could be a mother. However, since the whole poem is organized around ideas of manhood and masculinity, it's reasonable to assume the speaker is male.) Although we don't have a lot of specifics regarding the speaker's age, racial identity, or class position, the nature of the advice he gives reveals a great deal about him. Perhaps most importantly, the speaker has a quintessentially stoic outlook, which influences the advice he gives to his son about the importance of remaining emotionally placid no matter what happens. Significantly, this advice applies as much to "Triumph" as to "Disaster" (line 11). As the speaker insists, it's important to "treat those two impostors just the same" (line 12). The advice the speaker gives throughout the rest of the poem reveals a preoccupation with related characteristics, like levelheadedness, self-assurance, humility, and perseverance. These characteristics define the speaker's notion of an ideal masculinity---an ideal by which he himself seems to live.
In If---, Rudyard Kipling encapsulates an idealized vision of masculinity rooted in British stoicism and resilience. Through the speaker's paternal advice to his son, Kipling explores the virtues he believes essential for a man to develop: levelheadedness, self-assurance, humility, and perseverance. Each hypothetical situation outlined in the poem functions as a test of the son's ability to maintain a "stiff upper lip"---to face adversity with strength and composure, regardless of personal loss or triumph. The speaker's guidance transcends specific circumstances and advocates a steadfast emotional reserve, seeing self-control as the path to true manhood. Ultimately, Kipling's poem suggests that to "be a Man" requires inner fortitude, acceptance of both success and failure, and an unwavering commitment to principles that define the stoic ideal. Through its timeless advice, If--- remains a powerful exploration of stoic masculinity and a call to embrace strength through resilience and grace.