Italy is the land of paese bella figura, where good manners and appearances count. As an Indonesian, I was not aware of the social traditions and hierarchy when I came to Italy some weeks ago. My friend, a native Bologna, also did not explain them to me. This is what I have learned:
Business
Formality is important. Do not call Italian businesspeople by their first names, but by their titles, whether it is doctor or lawyer. Never say “ciao” when leaving people you do not know well, use the more formal “arrivederci.”
Be careful about small talk. Steer clear of politics, World War II, religion and national stereotype. While Italians can be very critical of their country, you should not.
Social relationships
Don’t buy your groceries at different mom and pop stores, or at least don’t make the owner aware of it. I learned that that when my usual butcher was closed. When I went back, the price had increased for me. It world have been better for me to go vegetarian for few days. Italians are known for their excellent dress sense.
“You have to got to look the part and have the right uniform,” says an investment banker. “For a long time it was blue shirts, with initials, and yellow ties, a fancy mobile phone and a Mont Blanc pen.”
Food
Only eat spaghetti with a fork – spoon and fork – and don’t cut spaghetti with a knife. Never order a cappuccino after mid-day. For an Italian, that is the same as having a bowl of cornflakes after eating lunch.
Only drink wine or water with food (beer is OK with pizza, a dish almost always eaten in the evening). In Italy it is not cool to be drunk, at most you can be a little bit tipsy if you are in good company.
And never put cheese on fish dishes. “I know someone who ordered spaghetti alle vongole(with clams),” says one businessman. “When he put parmesan on it, the rest of the table made him send it back and order another.”
