Joyfull Madness...

Madness.... What do peoples always do when they're mad? Scream? Cry? Blame? Hide? Curse? Or even suicide? Usually, i'll call 'em fool... But this time... let me be that fool... I am the most stupid person.. Poor... Naive... and Weak... *** I'm not okay right now... this painfull disease's killing the damn right of me! But in other side... i feel so joy... Like i'm back to how i was... Gloomy brat with lonely and sad eyes... *** I'm sick! I'm sick of beeing betrayed.. I'm sick of beeing mocked.. I'm sick of beeing pooh-poohed.. I'm sick of masked faces.. I'm sick of faked smiles... *** I think i never... I never gave no respect to other.. I never leave my manner for treating other.. Even i ever was... But at least i try hard to respect other... Because i know : Whoever gives respect first, they'll respected more *** Responsibility... Every human beeing deep down in their heart, they want to be unresponsible person. I don't blame em. Everyone want to show up the devil side within em. But what i hate was, their mask is hurting other.... Me too... i want to show up my devil within me. And this's my devil. My ego. My "up to me". And my "why do i'd care?" *** Whatever... You could blame me as you wish. But this's what i want... I used to be "in the middle" I used to be "in front of" And in the end... i ended up in long period of : I used to be "in the corner" With no one disturb or ever noticed me... Friend with shadow, making love with lonliness... I love lonely, its not hurting me.. Because i do hate dissapointed... I love pain, because its honest... Because i do hate lie... And finally, I love madness... Because it's joy...