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"But He's My Friend..."

27 Oktober 2009   13:11 Diperbarui: 26 Juni 2015   19:31 293 0
I had a student. A lovely girl who was so critical about things. I had another student. A handsome boy who could not control his power and not able (yet) to behave properly in the classroom. One day, the boy played roughly with all they toys. He threw all the toys all over the classroom. One of the toy hit the girl. "Hey!! I don't like it, okay?" yelled the girl. The boy stopped. He starred at her. "Miss, he hit me…," cried the girl to one of the teachers sitting next to her. The teacher was soon helped them to solve the problem. On the next day, the boy (again) hurt the girl. At this time, he pulled her hair. "Miss!! Miss!!!" cried the girl out loud. Other children also tried to stop him. The teacher came to help and (again) talked about what happened to two of them. What mattered in the classroom became a big issue in the class message board. The teachers put pictures about violence that should not happened in school area. Explanation about the rules always been discussed almost everyday. The boy's parent was feeling so guilty about her son. Meanwhile, the girl's parent was cooperative to understand the situation in the classroom. The teachers were encouraged to upgrade their awareness. For some days, everything went so calm and proper. No mess, no crying, no accident. The pictures on the message board seemed helpful. However, the teacher didn't want to report any progress yet to both parents as it's still in the process and nobody could guarantee whether or not this situation would last until the end of the term. One day, the girl's parent said, "Miss, anak saya masih main dengan temannya itu?" "Iya, Ibu. Kami tidak mungkin melarang, karena mereka juga bermain dengan wajar." "Iya, Miss. Sebenernya saya takut juga, kalo ada apa2 lagi, tapi waktu saya bilangin, 'jangan main sama dia lagi, ya' dia bilang, 'But he's my friend…' '' I was speechless. Still trying to figure out that the kind of words came from a 3.5 years old girl. "Ya udah, jadi saya cuma bisa bilang, tapi hati-hati ya…" the mother continued. "Saya cuman nitip tolong diliatin lebih sering aja ya miss, kalo mereka lagi deket-deket. Daripada ada apa2 lagi…," asked her mother. "Pasti, Ibu. Sure." I said that fully confident while my mind was still wondering about the girl's reaction. Why did she so sure that by saying that words, she would guarantee herself was in secure? After all everything that had happened between them, why did she STILL consider him as a friend? Even me, myself, would think twice to make friends with someone who likes to hurt, physically and mentally. But this girl? She taught me lots of things at this point. She knew that nobody's perfect. By making mistakes, everybody would learn not to make one anymore, and she's so sure about that. She knew that making distance won't help him at all. She did not find anything wrong with playing together with the boy, as she realized that sometimes, she would accidentally hurt other friend. She, herself, is NOT that perfect. And the boy would be happy because he got the trust from the girl that he used to hurt. The girl trusted him that he won't do any harm on her anymore. It's because they'd set up the rules and they'd discussed about it over and over again. The parents are expected to know how to deal with this kind of situation. Trust your kid(s), they could deal with their conflicts with other children. Trust the teachers, they are your partners. Trust yourself, that your respond about this would show the kid(s) which suit best for them. Run away from the problem or just face it.

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