We walked along the way ahead to Trafalgar Square, the most famous squares in the world, located in London where we were at the time. In half an hour later, we already sat and talked in the square. There were 6 of us, all girls. We are international students from all over the world who have great opportunity to study in one of well-recognition universities in the United Kingdom. We are all classmates. We are taking Post-Graduate Study for the same subject, English Literature. Our study is commencing from August 2010 to September 2011.
It has been our two-day in London. We came here to see the Royal Wedding. Although, there was no invitation, but we were so much willing to come from Essex, where we are studying, to London. Who needs invitation anyway, while the magnet of the Royal Wedding has strongly attracted us? Besides, we were having holiday till the end of April regarding to the incoming summer!
As we sat in other corners of Trafalgar Square, Annabel, who is originally from England, said: “I wish I could be like Kate, finding someone who loves me so dearly and sincerely!”, her eyes gave a gazed look. “Oh, yes….you will….dear! Don’t worry….”, cheered Laurie, from Germany. We started to take out meals from bags. Eating them slowly.
“I heard William and Kate have lived together for sometimes….,” I summoned.
“Ohh….yes. I read in internet that the Archbishop of York backed their decision to live together prior their marriage..”, added Laurie.
“Anglican traditionalists have criticised the Archbishop about this,Well....., it is common thing for modern couple to live together before marriage“, said Annabel. “There is a myth that cohabitation is a good way to determine compatibility….”, she added.
“Is it appropriate for the Prince, who will be the King, to have been living with his bride before they get marriage?”, I wondered.
“Well….The exception of people about it is mixed. But people tend to think their wedding more important than their past…”, replied Annabel.
“Well, I don’t want to discuss more about Prince William and Kate. But I am just curious….Is it necessary for a couple to live together before marriage?”, I delivered a question. Annabel seemed reluctant to answer it. Not other girls. “It depends….”, Caelin, from Greek, replied. “If you feel you don’t need it, then you don’t do it. Why you choose to live with your boyfriend while you could just marry him!“. Caelin asserted.
“Well, this topic is interesting to discuss. I like it!”, said Xia Nie, my classmate from China who has been married for two-year. She is 25, while I am 26. The other girls are around 22 or 23.
“Did you do that?”, Petchra, from Thailand, asked bluntly. We were all laughing. Compare to the other girls, she is the youngest. She is about to be 22.
“What?”, asked Xiao Nie, pretending. “You mean….Did I live together with my boyfriend? Off course, No!”, she replied. The conversation was getting serious, but we tried to make it fun. We shared food and listened to I-pod while talking about it.
“I think marriage is quite different from dating”, Caelin uttered. “In marriage, couples are together in good and bad times. They can see the best and the worst of each other. Some couples feel afraid that their marriage would end in divorce. So, they live together to become more compatible!”, she explained.
“I suppose couples who live together have stronger marriage, but….they don’t.“, told Laurie. “Why?”, I just wondered. Other girls were also curious to know.
“Well, it happened to my older sister….”, Laurie added, “She lived together with her boyfriend for a couple year before getting married, just to get to know what married life would be. She got married after that, but her marriage lasted only 3 years!...”, she took a breath for a while, “She has a wonderful 3-year-old girl! Poor she is….her father left her. We know nothing about him now! !”, she shrugged.
“The point is….we will never know what married life is like unless we are married!”, said Xiao Nie wisely. She is the only girl who married already. We, again, laughed. “…..the problem is that you think everything will be the same after you marry. In fact…., marriage changes everything! Your body….your career…your life! Especially when you have children…”, Xiao Nie talked more like a mother than a friend. We smiled at her motherly gesture she made. From her story, we know she has a two-year-old son. She left him with her mother.
“Mmm….I find many couples remain in their marriage for a long time after living together. Despite of any divorces they have at the end, I don’t think there is connection to living together before marriage….”, Annabel stated. No body felt like arguing her statement. We were free to deliver our thoughts.
“I think it depends on the person”, said Caelin, “the only way you can have a long-life marriage and happiness is if you have a strong commitment with your spouse. If you do that, you will, for sure, make a deliberate effort to accommodate each other, because you know your relationship is for life! Right…??” We all nodded. We were, then, drowned into a deep chat about it.
“I think I learned lot of things from you, guys”, I finally voiced. “For me, It is impossible to live together with a man without being marriage first. It is forbidden in Islam”, I explained.
“Well, I am a Buddhist…..I am also not allowed to take that lifestyle as well!”, said Petchra. “Not even……sex before marriage!”, she added.
“Girls…..”, Annabel reminded, “We are not comparing any religion here…..! We all know religion teach us the way of life, the moral teaching! Finally, It is up to us… whether or not we want to live by the moral codes of our religion. Life is a matter of choice”, she ended. The silence came after that. We were all busy with our thoughts.
“Hey…..it’s almost 5!”, Xiao Nie shouted. We looked around, there were still a bunch of people gathered in Trafalgar Square. But we remembered to do some shopping before we went back to our “bed and breakfast” hotel. We stood up.
“What a nice day!”, I proclaimed. “Thank you, guys…..”. The girls looked at me.
“Thank you, for what?”, asked Laurie. “For the nice chat..!”, I continued.
“That’s what friends are for, right?”, said Annabel. “We share……and we learn each other, we are coming from different countries…..there are so many perspectives…..but the experience make us better”.
I could not agree more. Studying abroad has brought me into a different world I have never been. I feel so lucky for being me; for the reason I only know. I cannot wait for returning home, though I am still excited for living here, taking my Master Degree. It is not the degree that counts, but the positive changes I have made for my future! Next November, I will marry the man in my life. I convince myself that living together before marriage will provide nothing for my future happiness. I promise myself to make my marriage work!.
