"I used to be good at this"
"I used to be a top student, but why do I feel like I'm unable to do that anymore?"
"I wish I could return to the past and live it forever."
Those thoughts must have crossed our minds, right? Maybe some of you think of it as just a common nostalgic feeling. However, when that feeling makes you compare your current self to your past self, making you more down, depressed, and even unwilling to accept reality and glorify your past, it's no longer nostalgia. We'll call that phase 'romanticizing the past'---the state of feeling like things are better than they actually are in a positive way (Cambridge English Dictionary, 2020).
This may sound like a minor problem, but it can have a bigger negative impact than we think. The effects as an example, increase someone's loneliness, not being able to enjoy new moments that exist in the present, depression, and even becoming an addictive delusion. Then, how to handle it so that we don't get stuck with our past?
1. View Our Past Objectively
Sometimes we don't remember that much, so the memories in our mind aren't always the same as the reality that happened. Instead, it's just an idealized memory that we formed. We still view it in a subjective way. Recall again the memories and pay attention to some small things we may forget.
2. Embrace the Present Moment
To help you be able to feel more connected to your surroundings and embrace the moment, you can participate in some community activities or any other things that can enhance your hobbies. Because of that, instead ruminate and immerse in your past, you can build a new zone for emotional safety. If you miss the feel, you are capable of finding new ways to feel that in it.
3. Reframe Setbacks as Opportunities for Improvement
Look at the past not as something that makes you lose, but as an opportunity that we can make the past a source of self-development in addition to being a longing for the past. Similar to an arrow drawn back by a bow and then released to its farthest point. Your journey just started.
4. Practice Sensory Awareness and Mindfulness
Try to become more aware of your surroundings. Like being responsive to situations that happened and so on. Be more appreciative and grateful for whatever situations come. As Albert Camus said,
Find meaning or don't find meaning but 'steal' some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self.
5. Active Engagement: Channeling Energy into Meaningful Pursuits
Engage in interests, activities, or relationships that give you a sense of fulfillment and control. Developing solid social relationships in the here and now can lead to fulfilling experiences that reduce the need to hold on to the past.
