Here I am...

Remember one night, my soul was flyin’ into the clouds when he whispered such as beautiful words. He said he knew that we are gonna surely meet again. it wasn’t a long way that made us tired, neither was a damn cold night that made us frozen. The same gaze led me to find something that has been ruined so long, even lost, but then found again. All of my dreams, seemed like castles in the sky.

I wanna say it all, hope everythin’ would  go back to the way it used to be. But I have zero strength to choose where to lead. If only time I could turn back, I just wanna let him know how this heart miss him too much, but it had ever been hurt caused by lost him more than once, I couldn’t weir this f__k’in feelin’. that seems like no one can replace him. My deepest heart was screamin’, when I knew there’s anyone else. It was killing me inside but I could not speak. The selfish that had embedded in my soul couldn’t go. It had me strong enough outside, but maybe dying inside, or whatever…

For God’s sake, maybe I was wrong to aiming right at him?

He kept asking me for the same crazy things, I knew, I want it too. But I ain’t lying about too much things that had me to stay here. But a hope was still standin’ by it. He just didn’t understand, & won’t even listen.

I was going to get it all fixed & prepared for it. Even for hurts them others. But somehow there’s a doubt, when I thought if he’s still looking forward to her. He said would leave her for me. Gossshh..!! What kind of man he is?? Would you believe if someone told “i love u”, while he was doing some different behind your back?? What do you do when you look in the mirror, and staring at you is why he’s not here?  Its like a drug that makes you blind, and fool you every time. I was seeing it all so clear.. & i decided to let him go.. go away…

Love is not as easy as fallin’ off a log. Everythin’ was beautiful at one time and hurt to the other side. Hehe..well, It’s been so long since I left:) The past had given me many lessons of life. It’s very meaningful to me. Now, look, I never meant to do those things to him, I’d been waiting for see him by that moment. But, maybe  it was too late to save it.. God, You know what’s the best 4 him..i wish he’s fine, then…

I don’t know what this after, but all I know is it will not make me down till the end. It doesn’t matter, I’m still here as before. I’m easy to let him go away coz I’ve got used to being here without him by my side, anyway. The pain doesn’t make any difference how difficult it is. I just need to write him off, and I did.. its thought I was goin’ to lose everythin’ but it turned me into a better and came up smelling like a rose.. .i’m sure gonna stand tall to face all the rest of my life, even if it takes a million dates, I believe God always makes it all be fine at the right time^_^ one more last, a true man would never deny his words…