Karina's Lives; The Wheel o' Life

Whatsoever, life is not a soft as a fleece. This fits into a destiny which God creates for everyone living in this world. For everyone has a certain way and direction to live, some lives enlighten to what the life is called for experiences.

Living is such kind of reaching a definite heading. To live is to learn every single thing existed in this earth; blissfulness, sadness, curiousness, peacefulness, even anything that can not be presumed by human being. The human and a humanity. Both, even someone could not be a part of them, one merely can be a human yet sometimes he can not experience on what and how a humanity is. Dear reader, that's what is being the fact nowadays.

I often talk to my self as if I have two souls in one body, me and my mind. Most often, I share anything hard and sorrow about my life away by muttering silently. Tearing is growing as well as cheering. I create several questions to my self and answer it through my mind.I am mostly curious on what actually God's inclination of my journey. This is a simple inquiry that I convey almost billion times since I have been alive.

Karina: "Dear my life, what is God's sign rendering me and my life into this experiences? Is it so special for me so this seems to be different from my other's circumstances? Merely, I am now having a Daddy as the only one whom I love most in this life."

My mind: "Karina, no one knows what and how God truly wants to glorify your life. As you only have one man who really loves and cares of you, you have to be grateful, fortunately. Life is so screet as the creator. So abstract but you can feel that everything will be back to the end. Your life is not sorrow. Your misery is truthfully your blessedness. This world is not your enternal life. You are only given a chance to harvest much kindness, then you will reap the welfare."

That's the way I communicate with my self. My mind is my mate to share and to tell everything I experience along the day.

***

Dawn, 03.00 a.m. It is awakened hour for me in every morning. This not only for praying as mostly moslems do in the dawn but also for going to work as I always do in almost four years left. Nineteen years living is not feeling blithe as long as I have been alive. Naturally, since my mother was dead because of bad accident four years ago and my daddy got stroke because of mom's death, I am accused to be an independent woman.

Firstly, I would not take the fact that my mom would go forever and never come back. Of course, I surely could not bear my family's need. I am even a single child of my parents. At that time I have to realize that everything changes and must be changed. My daddy, as the one who always works hard to support my education and all about my life as well as my mom, he is flaw now using a wheelchair and he will not be able to do some activities as usual.

In the fifty years of my dad's age, I just want to show him that I am a firm woman who is really responsible for my life and his life. Making him proudful of me without thinking weary and worry become my priority. Everyday, before going to work as a newspaper dilivery girl of Kedaulatan Rakyat Agent Company, that's actually my daddy's job before getting trouble, I get near to daddy's bed which in the left side a wheelchair is located.

Blank paper, yeah,  this tool is such a media for communicating with him. My daddy's condition is too apprehensive to concern. His left body is totally dead so he is just able to function the right side of his body to do anything, including to speak with me by writing. Dear reader, writing is merely I could do to speak in silent words with my dearly daddy. That's what I can only do to deliver what on my mind, my heart and all events that I am going to share with him. These seem to be two people living in the distance place and writing message can be a media for them in communication but in fact they are in the closest area, in one house. That sounds unique and romantic, isn't it?.

When I have been in my daddy's right side, I still know him sleeping in a nice face. Indeed, I will not disturb him by awaking him. I just write some words on a paper then I put it on the table nearby the bed.

"Dear my dearly daddy....., Karina is going to work then asking for leaving. Forgive me if I am leaving before you wake up. I just don't want to disturb your nice sleep Daddy. I know that you stayed up last night accompanying me to do my assignment, so now you are still sleeping. Pray for me and bless me always. I love you profoundly."

By: Karina Nimasayu, your dearest daughter.

***

Code river is one of famous places located in Yogyakarta. This place is indeed tightly having a good story about a great Javanese architect, humanist and writer, Romo Mangun Wijaya. He is the conceptor of the house architectures in Code river that had gotten an appreciation of Agha Khan architecture as the highest honor in the developing world. What I read on a book about Romo Mangun written by Erwinthon P. Napitupulu. Romo Mangun is involved in the best ten of Indonesian architects. He got an honor because of his concepts of  building some houses using Javanese architecture. This relates to how Romo Mangun still wants to explore Javanese culture by his creature.

My house is in a range of several houses located in Code river. Though that place had ever got an appreciation from the world long time ago, but now its situation is not like the past. The beauty is lost, the uniqueness is faded, and the civilization is gone. These happened because of Merapi eruption occured twice during approximately ten years. Then reader, what you can see Code river  this time is just a shabby and poor condition. I and my daddy live in a slum house with no having properness enough as a healthy home for living in good condition. It just consists of three rooms with no large enough, one for my daddy's room, one for my spot and the one is for living room, guest room, dining room, and kitchen. For the bathroom, I have to share with my neighbours and sometimes when I could not make a line with them, forcely I clean my body in the river with a brown water. That's all what I can tell about my house, too miserable but I am grateful of having that haven.

***

Mankubumi street, this is the area where I have to run my work as a newspaper delivery girl. My daddy had been working as a newspaper delivery man since he was in senior high school before coming together with my mom. If I can say that I am a lucky person compared with my parents. In this case, I can continue my study by scholarship to university exactly what people call by Blue Campus in Yogyakarta. English Literature Departement is my choice to be taken. My parents, they never feel how a campus atmosphere is.

After my daddy's trouble, fortunately, Mr.Joko, as his friend and becomes his agent of this job, allows me to overtake daddy's work. He helps me to have a job by being his the only one of a newspaper delivery girl who is still studying at university. Mr. Joko is a distributor of Kedaulatan Rakyat Company products, one of them is newspaper. He has twenty employees, including me. Mostly, his employees are men who have had a family already. Indeed,I am the youngest one.

Dear reader, being an agent of newspaper company is not merely earning a lot of salaries. Eminently, you should know that they only gain one hundred and fifty rupiahs for each item. One thousand seven hundred and fifty rupiahs they get from and one thousand nine hundreds rupiahs they resell to their employees. And I, as one of the employees get the benefit more than my agent. From this job, I have a fee around one thousand and one hundred rupiahs from each. But can you imagine by this number multiplying by ten item of newspapers I deliver everyday, that's my salary for a day. Then I should make my need and my father's need. This's not as a piece of cake on what people think about life. I have to strengthen my effort to fulfill all of these. Only for my father and my future. I am proud through my difficulties.

This job has been being occupied since 1949 by Mr.Joko and his family. Starting from his grand father who worked there four years after PT. Kedaulatan Rakyat was built. It seems to be a wealth inheritance for the family, no land, no house, no diamond for them, yet indeed a job as the inheritance. I have ever asked to Mr. Joko such a silly question, why he decide to continue his father's job rather than finding other jobs who could give him more salaries. Though, for him is not a difficult thing to get it. What makes me so amazed at him is the answer. He told me that working is not only finding a lot of money but also getting a convenient, that's a comfort. He said that they way he is now is the best cosiness he feels. One of good lessons I get from my lives. We should do what we are feeling bless at it, not because of financial.

***

Along the street, along the paddling of my bicycle, I always remember anthing happened yesterday and the days before today. Then I try to find something good and bad of those experiences to make some mark advices for my self better. Surely, anything has a moral value to be learned.Everything happens for some reasons. We do then we will get the effects of what we did. When some people swear something bad on their life since they hate it. I would prefer not to do that. Ouch, saying this expression;I would prefer not to do that, reminds me to one of the short stories by Herman Marville. Let me tell you reader a little about it which is entitled Bartleby The Scrievener. This tells about A Wall-Street story which tightly relates to how American people face their life. The depiction about the exact environment there is the point I can learn from it. Doubling, responsibility even the failure to connect with the circumstances meant isolation here are some pictures of this condition. I opinion, every region has its own story about the situation, indeed in my lives here. Ah humanity!. Ah the existence!

Around twenty minutes I need to get to my work place. Cycling is my favourite thingwhile listening some good western musics, I like it so much. By cycling makes my body healthy, even now I am so sweaty, this becomes such kind of cheerful way for myself. Working in early morning keeps me off from vehicle polution. What makes me cruel is when the time reaches to 7 a.m, when some people in rush go to work, then I must deliver some newspapers to every house, this makes me smell the bad polution from people's vehicle. What a madden thing!

People who have just seen my appearance often call me as a cool girl. In my age which is almost twenty years old, sometimes a girl starts to make herself up and imitate what the mainstream fashion is. Not for me, I have my own style and I feel comfort with this. No glamour and fashionable, indeed. The straight long hair and bangs covering my forehead become my favourite part of my body. And most of my friends know me as the girl who always ties the hair in approximately 30 minutes times. That's a cute statement. They know me as who I am. My uniqueness is my identity. When some young girls expect the ideal body such as a good height and weight then they try to get it as they can by doing anything treatment, but it's not for me. 162 cm and 51 kg are enough to be grateful on what I have, no complement. My watch in the left wrist, headset on my ears, warrior shoes and a blue old sweater are some stuffs that never be forgotten to wear. This rumpled jacket was bought by daddy when I was in the last year of yunior high school as a gift because of my good rank. Though it is an old jacket but I like it most, the thing which can cover my body from the sunlight. Indeed, Karina Nismasayu, the nice name which is actually stated a simplicity and identity of myself.

From the distance, approximately two meters, I can see already Mr.Joko in front of terrace in Kedaulatan Rakyat Building. There are many distributors there, not only him. Along the terrace is the place where they distribute the products to their employees. Likewise, I and other delivery men try to be in this place before the newspapers shared by the central employer of Kedaulatan Rakyat. The first time being a part of them. Not to be sleepy is a hard thing. Then I never find people sleepy. Mr. Joko said to me that is because of they have already adapted with the situation.One day, I can be like time also. In fact, how I am. As like them who have to stand by here from 3 a.m to get their space and portion of the newspaper. A carpet is the thing put for sitting on the floor. This job is valuable work for me. Waking up from sleep and going to work when some people are still sleeping. Ofcourse, not all people could do this even hard for each of them. Moreover, this is so hard for people who commonly live in the comfort zone. Indeed, the employees here, they have the same goal, like me, they want to fulfill their family's need. Yeah, for the sake of family!.

My arrival creates a beautiful smile from Mr. Joko. The hat man who always wears a short simple T-Shirt and flip-flops and never forgets to put a small bag in his waist.

Mr.Joko: "Good morning cute girl, hows life?"

Karina: "Good moorning too Sir, what a great life! it must be always, right?"

Mr.Joko: "You are really a good woman Dear. Proudful!. Do you know why the moon now is still showing its presence and the sun is still hiding from the sky?"

Karina: "So, why? Not know Sir. (Curious) "

Mr.Joko: "Do you want me to answer this? (Big Smile)"

Karina: "No sir but it's a must, erm.."

Mr. Joko: "hmmmm, because you are shining and you are lighting the world this morning then the sun doesn't want to break your bright"

Karina: "LOL... it's so you! (Big smile)"

Even though Mr.Joko's age is already old enough, but his sense of humor is still fresh. He could do anything funny to make me smile even laugh. Supporting me is always such kind of his obligation everyday. Never stop giving advice for me. He also never forgets to ask my dad's condition. He speaks anything that my daddy often speaks to me. Indeed, every father tends to have a common feeling toward the daughter. Not long staying there, I take my newspaper portions fast then leave the place since today I have to get my campus earlier than before, there are many assignments I must finish with my friends.

There are ten houses that must be delivered the newspaper, one of them is Mr.Prass', the nicest person compared with the other people whom on my list. The house is far enough, located in New Ambarukmo Housing nearby the Ambarukmo Plaza mall. And I should paddle my bicycle there as fast as I can. In my opinion, He is a rich man, indeed, with a large and great house and I know not exactly what the profession is. Usually, rich people tend to have a high prestige to buy a newspaper in the roadside so they choose the easiest way to subscribe a newspaper.

In front of house numbered 4-D in the second block, this is Mr.Prass' house. Almost every day I see him having a sport in his front yard. For everyone viewed, he is a good and a handsome guy proportional body. What he never forgets greeting me is saying hello and asking how I am today. Besides, he often asks my study and my activity along the day. Giving a praise and pride is what he often says every we meet, he tells me that he rarely finds a girl who wants to work hard for the sake of family by deciding to be a newspaper delivery girl. By great smile, I respond his words about me.

Karina: "Newspaper, newspaper....Good morning Mr.Prass."

Mr.Prass: "Morning Dear Karina, you look so fresh today, how are you? (he is still in her position strecthing his arm)."

Karina: "Aha, don't you know that I am always cheer everyday Mr...(Cute smile)"

Mr.Prass: "Yeah, indeed you are always fresh and cheer whenever I see you great girl!"

Karina: "Right! Here is the thing (Giving the newspaper to him)."

Mr.Prass: "Thank you Karina (Taking the newspaper). Don't you want to have a cup of coffe for a while Dear?"

Karina: "Welcome. Oh Thank you a lot Sir but I have to leave soon. Perhaps someday."

Mr.Prass: "Oh Ok. Take care and have a nice day."

Karina: "Nice day too Sir. Bye (Directly paddling his bicycle to the north)."

***

Today is not common day I felt. I come to campus by a little late and I didn't meet a friend whom I need to see her. Then after having class at the afternoon as usual I have to teach my students in one of English private course. Extended time is what I need this evening since my students need to have more time for their examination tomorrow. So finally I will be at home by late also. I don't know why I loose my little concentration this time. What on my mind is daddy, daddy and daddy. Maybe, since I didn't be at home after having class so I couldn't see him. Indeed, lately my daddy's condition is not good as usual. I think it happens because he doesn't get a good treatment in his bad condition. Definitely, I am on the top of worry state.

10.13 p.m. I have just arrived at home. Immediately I come to my daddy's room. I feel there is a thunder without a rain, there is quake without a disaster. The lamp on the sky turns to be so black and dark. What makes me so shocked is finding my daddy sprawling down on the floor and the wheelchair is toppled nearby the door. I do want to scream loudly but my throat tend to be choked. And my eyes, my eyes will shed the tear flood. The food that I bought for my daddy's dinner comes a copper uncounciously. My body is trembling, my lips are muttering and my mind is puzzling. "Oh God, what's going on today?." I try to be strong as an ox, take a deep breath and carry my daddy away to the bed.

This time is almost midnight, the time is for people taking a rest, so I can't ask a help to them. I get out of my house, run and try to find any kind of transportation that can take my daddy to a hospital. It seems so hard. In this time, when I couldn't do anything yet I must do everything. The taxi surpasses the place where I am standing but I can't ask to take it, ofcourse, since in my mind I don't have enough money to pay the bill. It's better to use the money for my daddy's treatment then. No public transportations pass in this route. My neighbors have no car that can be rented by me since no one has a car in my area. Finally I decide to ask a pedicab driver to take my daddy to a hospital.

***

In one a private hospital in Yogyakarta nearby my campus, I take my daddy about having a medical treatment this evening. Another problem is I have no any kind of medical insurance that will ease everyone to get free treatment in a hospital. My prediction, indeed, it will spend so much money to get it. By belief, I come in to the hospital and try to find one of nurses whose turn to maintain the hospital this evening while my daddy is still sitting on the pedicab in the front of the hospital fence. I meet onenurse and she ignores me to ask her help without showing a medical insurance card and let me to report this to the receptionist of the hospital. Immediately, I visit the information desk to inform about my daddy's need and condition.

The fact that it's not easy as I can imagine to get the medical treatment. When I report that I need a help to treat and cure my father, the first question given by the receptionist is where the medical insurance card is. This what makes me so confused. I try to negotiate to the receptionist, telling about my needy condition, explain about my urgent need. But in fact, this doesn't make him willing to help me except I have to complete all the requirments and the payments. Absolutely I couldn't  do that. But there is such kind of remission from the hospital but it contains many things to be registered and it opens from 8 a.m untill 4 p.m. I have to wait untill tomorrow.All that I can do is just keep praying and hoping.

When I am coming out and looking at the front of hospital where daddy is lying down, suddenly my tears are dropping. I could bear this situation, I couldn't knock it off. "God, help me and give me your bless!", I whispered silently. Tonight, I keep staying in front of terrace of the hospital untill morning to register for the remission. Finally, I have to be absent of my work and my campus.

***

At 07.15 a.m, morning. Mr.Prass is curious why this morning Karina doesn't deliver the newspaper to his house. He just predicts that perhaps she has another duty which is more important and can't be leaved. Mr.Prass is actually is a doctor of one hospital in Yogyakarta. When he touchdowns in the hospital, at shocked, he finds Karina is sleeping closer by an old man in the terrace of the hospital. He comes closer her than wakes her up slowly. When she opens her eyes and finds Mr.Prass in front of her, she is so streaked by his presence.

dr.Prass: "Karina, obviously you are here, anthing wrong's going on?"

Karina just smiles sadly and tells everything happened on her by hopeless. Knowing that condition Dr.Prass suddenly decides to overcome her problem without using the hospital instructions to get free medical treatment. This is done by him because of Karina's characters that could make him proud and equitable to get a help from him.

dr.Prass: "Don't worry Dear, I will help you soon. Follow me!"

******end*****

Note: This is a requirement of creative writing task fulfillment. It is taken from the real experiences of societies in being newspaper delivery man in Yogyakarta