Hell, that's the right word to describe how my life the way my parents treat me. Let me introduce my parents to all of you, my father that I do not know his name is, because I always heard people called him 'gambler' or to be exact 'the problem gambler'. Come home almost at dawn with the smell of alcohol, every day. His hands that never forget to leave marks on my body. He did that to vent his anger because of the gambling. Before he called me, I always went to him first, like it had become a habit. While other kids went to their parents to give them a warm hug, I went to my dad to get his slap all over my body, well I still felt the 'warmth' from it.
My mother is the prettiest woman that I know. She's a housewife, the gambler's wife, the mother of 3 children, and more importantly she chose the wrong man to married with. She is way much younger than my dad, like 10 years old gap, or that's how I guess, because she never talks about it. She is never hit or shout at me, she is different from my dad, but I did not say that she is better than him. Although she always talks with that sweet tone and smile on her face, but the words that coming from her mouth are more poisonous than Cyanide. "Worthless child" "I wish I never gave birth to you" or "Your birth brings bad luck" that's are her favorites lines to say to me. There's another reason why she called "Worthless child", because I do not have name.
I have two older brothers, to be exact a twin. Their name are Gamal and Gibran. Only them that got education, and its until high school. That was because, everything was still normal, my father still worked and never gambled, my mother still dressed up and wore gold bracelets and necklaces. Until there was a huge dismissal due to a massive loss in profits. Unfortunately, my mother was pregnant with me at that time, 7 months, 2 months before my birth. My parents had no savings, especially my mother. She spends the money like crazy, buying clothes every day, and a box full of her jewelry that she always brags about when talking to me, how luxurious and happy she used to be before I was born.
When my mother gave birth to me, we could still be considered a family whose financial condition was not lacking. A house completes with tv and ac in each room. But because of the increasing costs of childbirth and others, my father inevitably had to sell some things at home, and borrowed a large amount of money. Because my father could not pay all the bills, our house was seized. we had to move to a house that only had 1 room. My mother became stressed because of this incident, her breast milk did not come out and finally I was given powdered milk, and occasionally replaced with sugar water to reduce expenses.
Because of that, my mother and father hated me. They thought my birth brought misfortune to them. they didn't want to send me to school, the clothes I wore were also used from my older siblings. They had enough of spending a penny on me, and my mother refused to work. That is why they made me work when I was 5 years old, I had been a beggar, busking, and if it was the rainy season I would serve as an ojek payung.
My two older brothers decided to left the country to work, I don't know where they are, I do not know what kind of work they are doing, and I don't know how their life are. Before they left, they promised to come back for me. Well, they were not bad siblings either, every day they work late until night to provide for our family while my father spends the money on gambling and my mother goes shopping. Every time they come home, I was asleep, but I can feel that they always caress my head when I'm sleeping and say that they apologize for not being able to be by my side when mom and dad abuse me. When they have free time, they would take turns to taught me how to read, write, and many other things. Also, they are the one who gave me a name, Abrina Anindita. It means a daughter of good fortune, without flaws.
I was 10 years old when they left. Not even a day after they left, my mom and dad agreed to make me work in the palm fields. They said to me that is a part of Indonesian culture for a child to work and help their parents, but I knew very well what the meaning behind that word was, they threatened to abandon me if I didn't do what they told me to do.
When I first started working there, I was surprised to see that there was a girl in the same age as me. she was very kind and had a sweet smile. She approached me first and stick out her hand, signaling to get to know each other. "Hi, my name is Aya, what's your name?" she said, while smiling at me. I was so nervous, and trying to smile like her while saying my name "Hello Aya, my name is Abrina Anindita, you can call me whatever you like". I swear I can see that her eyes shining for a mill second. "Wow you have a really really REALLY beautiful name" she was loud, but I do not hate it. Instead, I really like it.
After that, she explained to me what I have to do.
It was hard, but I would rather work than have to listen to my mom rant about how she hates me. So, my job basically is to pick the oil palms, collect the fruits and help carry an average of 10 kilograms over a distance of 250 meters. It was so heavy, that sometimes make me lose my grip, but Aya always there to catch me, and she said "Careful, I do not want my best friend to get hurt". Sometimes I work up to 12 hours, only wearing sandals and no gloves, I do not feel like crying when sharp fruit thorns hit my hands or when scorpions sting my fingers. Maybe it's because I'm used getting hurt, so it does not matter to me.
I can hardly believe that five years have passed since I started working in the palm oil fields. It was hard, but I have Aya with me, we are always joking around, looking out for each other. We really close now, that makes me feel like she is a real family to me. Oh, and her mother is really kind too. Every day she never forgets to makes and bring me lunch too. She always reminded us to be careful. And what I like about her is, her hug. Her hug is very warm and comfortable. I can say this was a best decision that my parents ever made.
