It’s been 2 weeks full since I left you at the waiting room at the airport. I remember when I walked to enter the plane, I tried not to look back to find your shadow. I wanted to look back but I didn’t do it because I thought I would run back and cancel my flight. Which is I knew, it means cancel our plan for the future.
Dear my soul mate, I confess to you those days before my departure time, I spend hours to imagine what it would be if I took this chance and left you for a couple months. Especially after we got mad at each other or when I got angry to you. I thought it would be great and nice or also a relief if I could have my own time. I thought it was a good chance to take.
And here I am now. During the work hours, I managed to focus on my job and the tasks that I should face for the day. But when reached home (a place where we rent a room to stay for few months, I called it my temporary home) my mind flew away and play around. I imagined what you were doing. Are you okay and doing great? Ahh, my love. Should we need a time to stand so far away from each other, only to find out that we can’t live without each other?
My colleagues made fun with me; they told me that the way we communicate to each other sounds more than a date couple than a married couple. Sounds so fresh, sometimes arguing like teenager, sometimes laughing each other. I shared them that living as a married couple doesn’t mean we should left behind our habit like we did before we married. I can’t say I enjoyed the moments we fought. When you were so jealous for almost every man I met or at least talk to. I knew that you know me very well; even sometimes I was so shock that you know me better than I do. You are a mirror to me, where I can look at my own image and amazed how I can see clearly myself through your eyes.
You said that I am a too cheerful person. Jumping up here and there, too many smiles, too much hostility, too concern for other’s life. Too care to people surrounds me, even to them who didn’t care me back. By saying that, you meant that it would bring bad luck to me. My cheerful personality might be an annoying attitude for other or even may make someone get jealous or just dislike me.
Dear love, as we spoke on the phone, you might notice how I kept the feeling inside, how I actually depressed and so frightful. I couldn’t show people that I long to meet my soul mate. I asked you few times to come over and find new life here with me. I might be not as clever as people demanded me to be. For me, life is so perfect when a woman lives with the man who loves her and she loves him back. You adore me so much and very protective (if I can say over-protected) I don’t care if we have plenty of money or we have only enough to fulfill our needs for a week. What so important for me is you. To have you beside me is the most powerful life support.
Money or treasure is only a thing that we can achieve, earn and spend. But commitment, love, affection, understanding and other primary value in a marriage will only happen when we stand together. To have each other and hold hand in hand, will help us to walk through these rough and rude lives.
I know it is not easy for us to leave all the comfort and belongings we had there. But our lives are when we spend the days and enjoy every precious moments together. Will you able to leave all those stuff, dear?
I know we have all those things from your hard work and sweat in the past. I know you were so attached and would feel so unhappy to leave them behind and start the new struggling days here.
It is difficult also for me. This city is so tough and hard. Not everyone will able to breathe in relief and comfort here. We may find life is so hard and will decide to go home to our safe place, lots of times. I even never dream to live here especially stay for long time for a living.
But it is not a loss for us to try, right honey?
Wish you were here.
LV.