“Did you do that?”, Petchra, from Thailand, asked bluntly. We were all laughing. Compare to the other girls, she is the youngest. She is about to be 22.
“What?”, asked Xiao Nie, pretending. “You mean….Did I live together with my boyfriend? Off course, No!”, she replied. The conversation was getting serious, but we tried to make it fun. We shared food and listened to I-pod while talking about it.
“I think marriage is quite different from dating”, Caelin uttered. “In marriage, couples are together in good and bad times. They can see the best and the worst of each other. Some couples feel afraid that their marriage would end in divorce. So, they live together to become more compatible!”, she explained.
“I suppose couples who live together have stronger marriage, but….they don’t.“, told Laurie. “Why?”, I just wondered. Other girls were also curious to know.
“Well, it happened to my older sister….”, Laurie added, “She lived together with her boyfriend for a couple year before getting married, just to get to know what married life would be. She got married after that, but her marriage lasted only 3 years!...”, she took a breath for a while, “She has a wonderful 3-year-old girl! Poor she is….her father left her. We know nothing about him now! !”, she shrugged.
“The point is….we will never know what married life is like unless we are married!”, said Xiao Nie wisely. She is the only girl who married already. We, again, laughed. “…..the problem is that you think everything will be the same after you marry. In fact…., marriage changes everything! Your body….your career…your life! Especially when you have children…”, Xiao Nie talked more like a mother than a friend. We smiled at her motherly gesture she made. From her story, we know she has a two-year-old son. She left him with her mother.
“Mmm….I find many couples remain in their marriage for a long time after living together. Despite of any divorces they have at the end, I don’t think there is connection to living together before marriage….”, Annabel stated. No body felt like arguing her statement. We were free to deliver our thoughts.
“I think it depends on the person”, said Caelin, “the only way you can have a long-life marriage and happiness is if you have a strong commitment with your spouse. If you do that, you will, for sure, make a deliberate effort to accommodate each other, because you know your relationship is for life! Right…??” We all nodded. We were, then, drowned into a deep chat about it.
“I think I learned lot of things from you, guys”, I finally voiced. “For me, It is impossible to live together with a man without being marriage first. It is forbidden in Islam”, I explained.
“Well, I am a Buddhist…..I am also not allowed to take that lifestyle as well!”, said Petchra. “Not even……sex before marriage!”, she added.
“Girls…..”, Annabel reminded, “We are not comparing any religion here…..! We all know religion teach us the way of life, the moral teaching! Finally, It is up to us… whether or not we want to live by the moral codes of our religion. Life is a matter of choice”, she ended. The silence came after that. We were all busy with our thoughts.