A Girl With Misery

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I had embrace my fate to be alone in this world long time ago. i didn't dare to hope for anything that will break my heart eventually, i didn't dare dreaming about such thing like happiness.But then, you came along. You broke every rules that i have ever listed to protect my heart for any harm. And it is too late for me to prevent the thing i afraid the most, because now, you own my heart and my soul. I have nothing to give to you, i just had a broken soul and a wounded heart. Yet, your well being make me begin to dream things that will never happen. I dream about your love, i dream about us being old together. But, i know too well that fate will never let me go from my misery.

"You look great together."

How i wish that everyone will say those words when they see you and me together. But, i do realize, that you never want me in your side, so much for wanting to stay in your life forever. Because i knew it, your heart belongs to other, meanwhile mine is always yours since the very beginning. You are the only light in my darkness life. You teach me how to smile when i have ever learn just scowl and frown.

You show me the beautiful sound of laughing, when all i know is the sound of my screaming soul that want to crying out loud. You, the one who wear the smile that warm my heart like a morning sun. You, the one with a husky voice that cooling down my drying soul, like a snow in the sahara. 

When you look at me like i am the most beautiful girl in the world, i swear my heart stop beating for a second. Heat rose in my cheeks, and i just stood there, feeling shy and tongue tied so i couldn't say anything. Oh,please tell me how to win your heart. I will do everything to make you mine. And then, when your gaze move to her, your face lit up, and your eyes shining with excitement that melting away all those happiness i feel just a moment ago. How can fate be so cruel to me? left me in the darkness of misery after show me the light of happiness. This time, i'm not sure that i will survive. I think i will die from wound that never be healed.

"She's my life. She's my everything. I can't live without her."

Your words echoed in my ear, shattered my heart into pieces. I fighting back the tears, i will not cry in front of you. I pretend to be strong when you walk away from me, grab her hand and kiss her head with love written all over your face. I froze in my place, really hope that lighting storm will hit me. So i can breakaway from the sight that torturing me. Please, let me die this moment, so i will not feeling hurt anymore.

I turn away, and let the tears rolling down my cheeks. I run as fast as i can. I want ro run away, from you, from the world. from all of the things that never be mine. Smile, laughing, happiness, love, they are can never be mine. I am belongs to misery, dark and suffer. I will always alone to face it all, alone with my misery, alone in the darkness. 

-END